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Sex after rectocele repair Sex after rectocele repair

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  #1  
Unread 04-30-2009, 01:44 AM
Unhappy - Sex after rectocele repair Sex after rectocele repair

Hi ladies,
I had a rectocele for at least 10 years but didn't know it at first. My husband always said that I felt "different" and felt like something was "pushing him out". Our sex life definitely suffered and I grew more and more constipated. I got to the point where I had to give myself an enema 2-3 times weekly just to go and then still didn't feel empty.
About 2 years ago, I started using my gloved fingers- a thumb in my vagina and 1-2 fingers in my anus to push out stool. Some poop would hang up behind my retroverted (backwards) uterus. My glove would often be a bloody, poopy mess but it became routine, like brushing my teeth. Luckily I always had gloves with me for the occasion.
Until my surgery, I had no idea how bad it had become. It's a miracle that now I can sit on the commode, bear down, and have a normal bowel movement! I never thought something so natural would feel so good!
The only bad thing is that my husband is so afraid of hurting me or "ruining the surgery" that he is terrified to touch me ANYWHERE. He says he's not ready yet- he needs more time. I'M ready to try. Are any other husbands out there like this?
  #2  
Unread 04-30-2009, 04:51 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

What does the doctor say ? Do you have the "green light ?" I did not have this surgery, but found with two different doctors, having my husband in the office when the doctor reviewed surgery/post op exam, really helped him through the anxiety. This last time, he came with me to the office and I asked the nurse to send him in when the doctor was ready to discuss the surgery and findings. I had already asked for the "all clear," and told to wait 3 for weeks for my next ck up. Doctor just said "Do you still want me to talk to your husband?" It does seem to give them a sense of security as well as involvement. Try it...
  #3  
Unread 04-30-2009, 05:21 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

Hi Midnight,
My hubby and I got familiar by letting him use lube on his finger and first feel inside, the scar etc and that helped him see how things were different and how the scar tissue was. It was uncomfortable at first because the scar tissue needs to stretch by the incision but then it eased up and was ok. i think talking to the dr could help too. My hubby went to my post op appts and asked lots of questions and really educated himself on things. He understands as do I that prolapse is due to my own disfunctional connective tissues and not from sex. If and when it fails it won't be his fault, just time for another repair, lol.
  #4  
Unread 04-30-2009, 05:57 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

How long did it take for you to stop feeling soreness after your rectocele procedures.
I'm at 4+ weeks and still have a pretty sore bottom, dr says its because of the rectocele, not so much from the TVH.
I can't even imagine sex yet
  #5  
Unread 05-01-2009, 07:12 AM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

I didn't try until week 13 post op. That's just when I felt ready. I was still VERY sore at week 8 when they said I was cleared for it. Bottom line do what YOU feel your ready for. I was still having issues regulating bm's at 12 weeks too and I still take a colace every night to stay soft and regular.
Good luck!
  #6  
Unread 05-01-2009, 01:11 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

Thanks for this thread. I am at week 11 and still wondering how it is in there. I often feel pressure, sometimes don't know if it has failed etc. and wonder if I can actually be normal ever again!! I have not got a husband now (separated) but when the time comes or "if" it would be nice to know I would not do any damage. I find prune juice and figs work for me. However, I think they are making me put on lots of weight!
  #7  
Unread 05-02-2009, 06:53 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

Thanks for the reassurance.
I guess being sore at 4+ weeks is not so bad afterall.
  #8  
Unread 05-20-2009, 04:06 PM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

  Quote:
Originally Posted by midnight66 View Post
Hi ladies,
I had a rectocele for at least 10 years but didn't know it at first. My husband always said that I felt "different" and felt like something was "pushing him out". Our sex life definitely suffered and I grew more and more constipated. I got to the point where I had to give myself an enema 2-3 times weekly just to go and then still didn't feel empty.
About 2 years ago, I started using my gloved fingers- a thumb in my vagina and 1-2 fingers in my anus to push out stool. Some poop would hang up behind my retroverted (backwards) uterus. My glove would often be a bloody, poopy mess but it became routine, like brushing my teeth. Luckily I always had gloves with me for the occasion.
Until my surgery, I had no idea how bad it had become. It's a miracle that now I can sit on the commode, bear down, and have a normal bowel movement! I never thought something so natural would feel so good!
The only bad thing is that my husband is so afraid of hurting me or "ruining the surgery" that he is terrified to touch me ANYWHERE. He says he's not ready yet- he needs more time. I'M ready to try. Are any other husbands out there like this?
I am so happy to have found your post. I'm sorry you've suffered for so long though. I too have had pretty much the same issue with bowel movements. I've calculated the daily dollar to average about $7 per day for suppositories, enemas, rubber gloves and various over the counter products to assist in producing a bowel movement. This doesn't include the embarassment, nor the missed functions due to trying to poop, for lack of a better way to put it right now. It's wonderful to read a success story. My procedure is in 3 weeks and I've been searching for positive posts.
Could you share with me what you did immediately after surgery to prevent constipation? I live in a small town with limited shopping options, so I'd like to have on hand anything that will work and help keep my surgery a success.
  #9  
Unread 05-21-2009, 06:47 AM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

Colace 2 pills in the pm and after 8 weeks 1 pill in the pm. I'm 5 months post op and I take it as needed now, increased fiber and fruit or if there is a specific food that makes you go like spinach for me
  #10  
Unread 05-21-2009, 09:22 AM
Re: Sex after rectocele repair

Thank you. Colace is one I haven't tried yet.
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