I can't believe my co-worker said this to me.

So I am about 5 1/2 months out from my LAVH. Doing ok. I'm 42, never had children. Apart from my vaginal cuff having keloids and having to use Estrace for it, for the most part I'm dealing with it. A co-worker in my office had a baby yesterday and I find myself feeling wistful and wondering what it's like to be a mother.

Today a co-worker whom I'm not particulary friendly with came over all chummy-like and said Oh A-- - you'll probably find this funny' and proceeded to tell me how her and 3 other co-workers were going to lunch and one said 'I didn't know A-- was pregnant' apparantly they almost had an accident cos the one driving turned around in surprise..well they thought it was me. I'm the only A-- in the office. Turns out it was a different A-- in another office.

I understand about mistaken identity and mistakes, but even though I'm feeling ok I've never shared my emotional feelings about my hysterectomy and I feel that this comment or joke was in bad taste. I laughed it off because I felt I had to, I dont' want to give them even more to gossip about..but I'm still offended and I can't believe she would be so insenstive.
Sorry just had to get this out.

Hi fencinggreat!

I understand that this whole exchange that you have shared comes across as very insensitive and believe me many of us hysterectomy patients have been the recipients of clueless remarks as well.

I think these types of things can all be attributed to something I heard another (((sister))) say here long ago,

"People just don't think."

There are always going to be individuals in our orbits whose thoughts drop directly from their brains to their mouths with no editing. It's unfortunate that you had to be on the receiving end of this.

If you are like me, with time, you will develop a thicker skin in reaction to thoughtless statements like these.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I totally agree that people just don't think before they speak. I know someone like this and I always have to remind myself that she has no "filters" installed to screen out what comes out of her mouth. Having said that, it doesn't help the hurt and frustration. Know that you are not alone in this; most of us have experienced those thoughtless comments that can keep us up churning over it in the night. Whenever I can't 'let it go" I try to pray for that person and for the others who are probably being hurt by her comments as well.

Oh, (((sister))) I'm so sorry you had to hear this.

I am at a loss for words. You know it was thoughtless -- we don't have to tell you that. You're not even healed physically from this surgery, let alone emotionally. This must have been so hard for you.

I hope it has helped to know that we understand and that we support you 100%. We know how hard this is for you because we've been there, too. Unfortunately, this co-worker doesn't see that.

Please continue to be very gentle with yourself and take care of your as well as your body. Wishing you brighter days ahead.