31...big decision (child/pregnancy mentioned)

I think I've made the decision to have a hysterectomy.
God, it's painful to even say it. I'm just 31. I have, thankfully, one beautiful 3 year old boy. My pregnancy was very rough. I had preeclampsia from 22 weeks on. I was on bedrest for four months. He was a month early.

I was pregnant twice before - one son was stillborn due to genetic disorders, one miscarriage.

My son is a miracle. Though, our live s are not easy. He has Autism and recieves therapy 7 days a week.

My husband doesn't want more children. I know we shouldn't even think of it. It's not easy to accept.

Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Three weeks out of every month are torturous. The pain, bloating, cramping...

I can't take hormonal birth control. I have done the copper IUD and had horrible pain.

I had to have LEEP done in 2004 for precancerous cervical cells.

I'm a gynocological trainwreck.

I think I've finally decided to take my doctor up on having a hysterectomy. We'll leave the ovaries because I'm not wanting to do hormones (same reason I haven't tried Lupron). It just seems so major though.

I'm scared. To make such a profound decision at 31...to know I'll never be able to get pregnant again. But at the same time, I know that already, it's just that it would be so final.

My husband doesn't get why it's so hard to say goodbye to my fertility. He says we are blessed to have one child. He's right...but...that doesn't make it hurt less.

Anyway, I don't know who to talk to about this. I feel very alone. I don't want to live in pain anymore, I know that much.

Thanks for listening.

debbs,



I know how you are feeling. I have one child and wanted another one quite badly. After undergoing fertility treatments, I realized it just wasn't going to happen. But, like you said, the thought of a hysterectomy being so "FINAL" takes away any little glimmer of hope I might have had.

I suffered with endo for many years as well. Some things you might or might not know is that a hysterectomy is NOT a cure for endo! There are plenty of women that have had complete hyster's, to include ovary removal, only to have the endo come back. Another thing, by leaving your ovaries, your body will still produce estrogen. And, endo feeds off of estrogen. But, again, even taking them out is no guarantee you'll be endo free. Prior to my lavh/bso I had already determined that I wanted to keep my ovary that was disease free. I knew the odds but, keeping my ovary was important to me since I was only 30 at the time. Unfortunately, the "good" ovary had developed a large endometrioma and had to be removed.

Also, did you know there are that specialize in endometriosis? They are experienced with the disease. Using an endometriosis specialist is a great idea if you have one available to you. Typically they are also reproductive endocrinologists. (fertility docs)

Good luck with your decision, whatever it may be. But, do your research and be informed about the different outcomes. Remember when it comes to your health, you are your own best advocate!