No libido destroying my marriage

I am 4 years post-op from complete abdominal hysterectomy. My libido was gone almost immediately after the surgery. I've tried over the years to "get in the mood" and have done my "duty" from time to time. Once upon a time, my husband and I had a lovely sex life. Now....not only is there no libido, I get so anxious at even the thought of having sex that it is all but impossible now.

I am on minimal estrogen replacement and progesterone (prometrium).

Can someone PLEASE tell me the kind of doctor I need to see who will be sensitive to this issue and help me? I've heard testosterone replacement can help? I'll try anything at this point.

I was told by my general physician that I no longer needed to see a gynecologist because I didn't have any "parts" and he has said that my lack of libido is "all in my head."

Please tell me what kind of doctor should I see and what should I ask for? I love my husband and he has been more than patient.....but enough is enough and I don't want this to destroy my marriage.

Thanks for any help you can give me.
Skipper22 in Wilmington, NC (age 55)

	Quote:
Originally Posted by skipper22 I've heard testosterone replacement can help? Please tell me what kind of doctor should I see and what should I ask for?

If I were you I would start by phoning OB/GYN clinics in your vicinity and asking, "Do you have any providers on staff who specialize in hormone-related issues such as low libido?" and see what you come up with. Where I live, there are a few practitioners who fit this niche but one has to seek them out.

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Hi Skipper22,
Don't give up on yourself or your DH. I kept hearing it was in my head and that I was perfectly fine. I finally found a wonderful Gyn that is helping and says that it is not in my head. More ladies will be along shortly who can give you a clue as to what kind of doctors might be able to help you. Good luck to you and God bless you.

OH MY GOSH... I have felt like I am going crazy... I have been married three years...2nd time and I have my hystorectamy 9 years ago....I could careless about sex... and someones I feel like I just want to be alone.... I hate this feeling!!!!!!!!! I have an appt next month with a new OB/GYN....

Skipper -

The loss of libido can be devastating. My gyn onc sent me to a uro gyn that specializes in sexual dysfunction. She has prescribed estrace vaginal cream for vaginal health and we're working on testosterone for libido. We're trying our second dosage to see how it compares. I won't say it has made everything exactly as it was but I can definitely tell that my body responds better than right after the hysterectomy.

Sending huge and hoping you find a Dr. who will work with you.

G.

Hi I'm new to the boards, but I had my hysterectomy 7 1/2 yrs ago and I have been having the same problems as you. I finally got tired of it and discussed it with my gyn this past Friday. He did some blood tests on me (which we haven't gotten back yet) and he started me on Estratest which is an oral hormone replacement pill that has testosterone in it as well as estrogen. He said it would improve my vaginal health and hopefully increase my libido. Then we would go from there. I suggest you find a new gyn doc that will spend some time an invest in you as a person.

Hi everyone,
I went to see a GYN last week and told her of my issues. And I could not BELIEVE what she said to me. Her first response was, "Well, do you and your husband ever do anything like Date-Night?" At that point, I was putting on my shoes to get out of there!

She did some blood tests and said my estrogen was low (no kidding! I don't have ovaries!) and she increased my estrogen two-fold over the minimal amount I was taking (by way of patch). Then she said that she tested for testosterone but there were no noted "ranges" for women's testosterone levels so told me she couldn't tell one way or the other in that regard. Needless to say, I will not be returning to her.

I have a friend who highly recommended another GYN to me and I have an appointment November 9th. It is going to be a LONG month as the sexual tension between me and my husband has heightened and my stress level over this has become enormous.

I have tried to explain to him about feeling like an "it" and he truly tries to understand. However, he seems to think we should see a sex therapist. The mere thought of that is unnerving to me, mostly because it insinuates that this is something that can be "talked through."

I promise you this....if I had known that this would be the outcome I would have told the surgeon to leave the ovaries at all cost!

Thanks to all who have responded. It is so nice to know that I am not alone and that I'm not crazy.

Pat in Wilmington, NC (skipper22)

I am new to this section of hystersisters and have avoided clicking on the the link for this page for awhile. I thought that because I was able to orgasm and it did not hurt, I was ok. But the truth is, I have had no desire since my surgery and I am in the same boat as you Skipper. I think my marriage is going to go down the tubes if I don't figure out how to "want" to be with my husband or at least pretend to. I take Estratest and have for about 6 months but haven't noticed any difference.

Hi Skipper. Full hyst was 16years ago and my gyn prescribed estratest and premarin. For the next 13 years I enjoyed wonderful sex life, youthful skin, loads of energy - I was myself! Now, with HRT debates, I've been switched to covaryx - big disappointment, and now cream compounds. My skin is thinning, sex hurts, no arousal, vaginal dryness, blah blah blah. Maybe the cream will work, but I'm doubtful and joined this site today to educate myself. Find a gyn who will work with you to find the right HRT. In it all answers lie. Your problem is not in your head, it is your bodies response to the loss of hormones. Good for you to educate yourself instead of listening to a close minded physician.

JuliaJohannah - maybe discussions with your gyn about the HRT not doing it means you need to go back, you might want to spend sometime on the Hormone sites here in order to get some ideas.

KAH - check out the intimacy and dysfunction items. Here's a link to the Intimacy area identifying Categories of Sexual Dysfunction

to all and keep working on getting your sexuality working for you.

G.