My fair share

ok so I have had enough now. This Oncologist had to have been on something. He tells me that he can fix my problem with a few procedures. He can do the LEEP again and if that doesnt get it he will do the cold cone. I told him, you are a man you have no clue what it's like to be sitting on this side of the fence! So you tell me that I have to wake up every morning wondering if this has turned into invasive cancer yet and go through the stress of waiting for the results to come back??? Do you think that you are superman??? He says he will keep doing it until it goes away. He is nuts! Even with my family history he wont do the surgery, that CIN III / CIS does not warrant the hysterectomy! Go figure. So I have had enough sisters, I am throwing in the towel. Once again DH to be has changed his tune back to the same as the Oncologist. I need to think this relationship over one more time before May. So whatever happens will happen and I am terrified of the harrassments I will get If I decide to seek other opinions. Guess I have a lot to sleep on, once again my plate is full and I am no where near hungry!

Oh Terri!!
Hugs hon!!!
Terri...this is your body and your situation. You get as many opinions as it takes for you to be comfortable with what you are being told!

If you want to try his approach that is up to you, but be clear to him that you want input into his decision when these results come back. If he doesn't seem to like that idea, then have someone else do the Leep etc , and look for someone who is willing to hear your input and consider your wishes.

Hang in there, and don't give up Terri! You have to do what you feel is right for you!!
Sending an extra big hug to you !!
Maria xo

{{Terri}}

I'm so sorry hon. I know this isn't even close to the answer you were looking for. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting additional opinions, this IS your body and your life after all.

I'm sure they are just trying to make sure everything that would be considered "non-invasive" is done prior to performing a hyst. It IS major surgery and there's no going back once its done. That's a hard place to be in.

Hang in there, gal. You will get through this, keep exploring until you find an answer that you are comfortable with as well as the physicians.

{{hugs}}

Vicki

Oh gee, Terri. What a place to be in ,still no answers. There is absolutely nothing in getting lots of Drs opinons. Read lots, ask questions and be informed. Then you can go to the Dr armed with your decision and 'ammo' to back you up. Dont forget we are here for you. Much love always x x

Terri,
What you are going through sounds terrible. I was just diagnosed with CIN III/ CIS and my doc has recommended a hyst even though I am only 30 and not sure if I would like to have another child (I have one 9 month old son). I have already talked to so many women on this board with CIN III who said that the waiting (thinking about invasive cancer) is much worse than the hyst, so I'm ready if the oncologist agrees with my OB.

So what's the difference between your doc and mine? Did you already have one leep and the path report came back saying they didn't get it all? This is what happened to me.

It sounds to me like another opinion is in order if you are uncomfortable with your current doc's opinion. Thinking of what COULD happen is just terrible (that's what I am doing right now too).

BTW, in one of your previous messages you said that your DH to be was treating you like you have a toothache. I'm in that same boat as well, but not just with DH, but also with just about everyone else I have told, including in laws and my own mother. I truly feel like the ONLY support system I have right now is this board and my sister, who is in South Africa of all places!

Anyway, enough of my whining! I am going to try to be positive until I meet with the oncologist on Monday. I hope that you follow your intuition on the very difficult decision you need to make.
Danielle

I can't even begin to imagine the frustrations that you are feeling now. Please get a second or third or even fourth opinion!! Have you looked for a female doctor? Maybe you would feel more comfy with a female doctor, who MAY understand your feelings more. Please know that we are all here for you, and we really do care!! Don't give up hope!!!

The difference between docs I have no clue, Maybe his check book is a little light this month. Having the hyst would make me feel safer but then he went into this big thing about vaginal cancer. Seems to me from what I have read that once the hyst is done it drops your risk of an invasive cancer by 95%. Its like right now what do I believe, who do I believe. My primary and my moms surgeon says the surgery is a given due to family history. The other opinions like I said I am terrified because I am getting no support, and I know another battle or should I say this battle will blow out of control! I sent dh to be a long e mail trying to explain myself my concerns because he cut me off at the knees when I tried to do it verbally, telling me that I am listening to my mom. Yeah ok but I also spoke to two other docs. I was only trying to voice my feelings, my fears and concerns about this. I also put him in my shoes, told him ok you have a pre-cancerous leasion on your testical, the dr says, we can go in a take little bits at a time have them tested and repeat the procedure until we get it all, but you have read that if they remove the testical your chances of a spread are lessened by 95% what are you going to do. He had no reply except that I already had my mind made up. Thank you very much for your support %@@-hole. (sorry). Yesterday was my son's 8th birthday, so we had the family over for a small bbq I told those who asked me what was going on that this wasnt the day to talk about it, but later on M-I-L to be started with this baby thing again, how all these woman who were told couldnt get preg after procedures got preg and lived happily ever after. I glared at her, and said thats nice. What am I...a machine waiting for an oil change???? I havent really made up my mind about anything, I just need to know whatever I decide upon I want it to be the right thing. Thats a term that is easily understood right??? Then why all the resistance??? If I consult with another doc, do I tell him I am going...I think I will just let it go a while and think. I cant understand this doc not at all. Am I letting other people decide my fate??? Yeah I am!

I know you said that you are just going to try to let it go for awhile, so I'm sorry to even ask, but do you still have CIN III?

If your past LEEP did not get it all, I would be very worried about not having something done as soon as possible. If the last LEEP said that the margins were clear, then I agree that you have some breathing room.

No margins are not clear, I am just very confused, and really have no one but this board to listen and understand my confusion. Family doc says Hyst. Moms surgeon say hyst gyno says either way the choice is mine and this Oncologist says more procedures until he is sure they got it all. So it seems pretty simple to realize my confusion, only dh to be doesnt get it. DH to be mom is focused on one thing only. This is why I said I am doing nothing about it I need a brain break before I crack like humpty dumpty. I feel like a rat in a glass container being chased around by a hand with projectiles on it. I realize with it still being there I need to act upon it, but on the other hand I need time as well to collect my own thoughts. I may go back to my primary and speak with him, maybe repeat a pap, and go from there. I guess you could say start over. I dont know. Gotta go to Walmart and buy a basket to put my thoughts in. Humm Walmart...sounds like the thing to do. SHOP SHOP SHOP! Thanks for my sisters being here for me. If I didnt have you all I dont know where I would be.

Terri, this is indeed a very stressful time for you. I cannot make your decision about whether or not to have the hysterectomy. But if your margins are not clear that means that there are still some abnormal /CIN3 cells present somewhere. Now have you read my story? I had an extremely aggressive strain of CIN 3 and even a hysterectomy didnt get it all , the margins never came back clear. So you must read and become informed , choose a Dr that you trust and lay it all before him. And print MY STORY out and give it to your future MIL to be. Best of luck and love always x x