Hello!
I was dx on Oct. 29 with Endometrial Cancer and already have a date for my hysterectomy - LVAH (Nov. 17). I was going to a RE for infertility and was feeling really good about it. After having a laparoscopy and D&C, I thought for sure this "cleaning out" would help me conceive. But now I'm dealing with cancer. I break down for no reason and I'm feeling useless. I'm having a pity party and wish these feelings would go away. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? I've read a lot of the forums and realize that it will be okay but my heart aches and I wish it would stop.
I'm 51 and did not have the fertility issue to deal with and still, I broke down after I had my dx. I am now post-op and I can say it was a tough battle, but for the most part, I've won. Endometrial cancer is usually caught in the early stages, and it is so nice to have that nasty monster out of my body. The worst part of the whole procedure was waiting to have the operation. I broke down and cried every day for two weeks. I was terrified! I don't know how my husband stood by me as well as he did. He got me through the ordeal. Nothing was as bad as I imagined during that time. I pretty much sailed through recovery better than I thought I would.
The fertility issue is another story. I had a lot of cancer concerns in the beginning and one woman who answered my post had been trying to conceive prior to her dx. In answering my question, she told me about how she had contacted Johns Hopkins in Maryland and they had assisted her in freezing her eggs for the future. The people at Johns Hopkins had worked with her so that she felt comfortable postponing her surgery for a short period of time in order to do this. Is there an option for you to do something like that?
I feel for you because I know how hard all of this is for you right now. I hardly think about the cancer anymore since it was removed on August 31st. I'm back at the gym and work and I feel pretty good except for some small issues which will resolve themselves soon.
I know you will get through this and I wish you all the best.
Distraction
that is the only advice I can add to "help" with the pain. It won't make it go away, but it may give you some relief.
You are allowed to feel your feelings, we all cried, screamed, and felt sorry for our situations.
My only advice is to treat yourself. Eat the best foods, do the things that make you happy, and maybe if you spoil yourself (because you should) it may make it a bit easier.
Your diagnosis is still very new and I think you are expecting way too much of yourself! My goodness - you are so normal feeling the way you are right now!!!
You will feel better emotionally. It takes time and you have to get past the surgery and the pathology report so you know exactly what you are looking at. Please give yourself permission to be angry, scared, sad and everything else. You will be healthier if you let these emotions work their way through.
I am 4 months out from my surgery for endo cancer. I am emotionally in a much better place than before the surgery. Tomorrow I go back for my first 4 month check up to see if there is a recurrence. I pray it's gone, but if they find it, I am emotionally stronger now and will deal with it.
You'll get there too! Just take it a step at a time.
I know this is a difficult time for you. Facing a cancer diagnosis is hard enough, but having to deal with another loss on top of that makes it nearly unbearable. When I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in September (my second cancer), I had to cancel my appointment with the infertility clinic that was scheduled for just 3 days later. That was almost as hard as hearing I had cancer for the second time. It takes time for the pain to become more bearable. In the meantime treat yourself right...mani/pedi, a little retail therapy, long bubble baths, a night out on the town, whatever floats your boat!
I am sure the topic of babies makes your heart ache, so do not be afraid to decline invites to showers and turn down offers to hold babies. Most people will understand and if they don't, well too bad for them. Right now you need to take care of you and do what helps YOU and your husband get through this. There are other alternatives to building a family so it is still a possibility for you (my two sons are adopted and the light of my life!) but I know right now thinking about that may be difficult.
I assume from your user name your DH is in the Army; mine is a Marine. I hope you have found the military hospital and Tricare easy to deal with. Also enrollment in EFMP will make sure your husband will be stationed at a location that will have proper medical facilities for you.
I wish you well in your journey and hope you feel less anxious tomorrow.
Hey Brenda, I totally understand!!!! My DH and I were being treated by RE for almost 2 years. I gave up on that, but continued to hope that one day we would still conceive. Recently a cyst was found on my left ovary. When I went to have them removed, they found a granulosa cell tumor. They had already closed me up, so a 2nd surgery was performed to do a radical hysterectomy. Also removed were lymphnodes and my omentum. I was supposed to be in surgery for 1 1/2 hours and instead, was in for almost 7 hours.
I am not going to lie, the cancer scares me, but I am also mourning the death of my hopes and my dreams. The tells me this is the best cancer to have, because they got it all. Of course, cancerhead can pop up again. I wonder what's next. Will we be able to adopt? Will they give children to woman who has been dxed with cancer?
Wow! You all have been the BEST!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Tomorrow I go in for my pre-appointment with the hospital. My surgery is a week away and I find myself getting anxious. I know it'll be the best thing but my heart still aches. I need to tell you all that I pray each day that God will comfort us all and keep us STRONG!!! Thanks again! This weekend I'm headed to see my folks and have some fun with some cousins. I'm going to enjoy myself to the fullest! God bless you all! Have a GREAT week!
I totally feel for you, I was in your same shoes back in May. Pre-IVF workup found endometrial cancer. It was a huge shock and double whammy - cancer itself is terrifying, and the smashing of our hopes for a baby at the same time was awful.
In fact, although we are not numerous, there are several of us in this boat. 3 of us have gone through fertility-sparing options before our surgery (basically IVF egg collection & will use gestational surrogates in the future). Even if that route isnt right for you, we've all faced the double punch of cancer + infertility, so please feel free to stop by this thread :
I'm going through pretty much the same thing. No kids, had fertility treatments and 2 miscarriages. Dx with endometrial hyperplasia with atypia several times, took progesterone, Megace, etc. It finally just went on too long. Last biopsy said "cannot rule out endometrial carcinoma in situ", so my hyster is november 19th, 2 days after yours! I'm having a vaginal hyster and my ovaries removed as well.
Yes, the emotional toil is soooo hard, especially since we did not get to use our "equipment".
I'm sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all this. I didn't have children and was post-menopausal, but after my surgery I cried a lot and ended up seeing a counselor. It's perfectly normal to cry and feel anger and depression. Just make sure you release those emotions and don't keep them bottled up.
It's not an easy path and is a terrible struggle to get through, but you do have the strength to make it. Just take it one step at a time and remember to take deep breaths. And come here any time you need to.
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tells me this is the best cancer to have, because they got it all. Of course, cancerhead can pop up again. I wonder what's next. Will we be able to adopt? Will they give children to woman who has been dxed with cancer? 
