How do I help DH deal with infertility grief?

Hello! It's been a while since I've posted much here.. it's been almost 3 years since my TAH, due to endometrial cancer.
This diagnosis hit us like a ton of bricks.. we had been married for 2 years, and were TTC when it was found. Neither of us have children. Surrogacy isn't really an option, we can't afford IVF or surrogacy fees.
Since then, we've become foster parents, and hope to adopt. We had a placement of 2 little ones last year, but they went home to family.. we're now waiting for another call.
I think that DH is just now starting to deal with his feelings about not being able to have bio children. I think he was trying to be strong for me, but never really grieved the fact that it was a loss for him, too. I really don't know what to say to help him, and I feel guilty all the time, because if he wasn't with ME, he could have his dream.
Can anyone share how they have helped their DH come to terms with the situation?

Thanks!

Dear AmyBeth:

You have had a lot of big things happen in your relationship with your DH in a few short years! In 1986, we had applied for foster/adopt, then our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. We consoled ourselves with the idea that our baby was already here, she just hadn't come home yet. By late 1987, we had a phone call that we had been chosen to be parents our oldest DD.

I don't know the answer for you, other than don't give up!!

I hope you have success in your journey to building a family. I am sending huge cyberhugs

Wow, it sounds like you've had quite a journey, too. I am waiting (trying to be patiently) for our chance to get that call.
Thank you for the reply and the cyberhugs. This is such a tough thing to deal with.. I'm starting to think it's more than we can handle alone.

I had my hyst in August at age 25, being married for just over a year. I think my DH is doing the same thing - being strong for me now - and I worry that he will eventually really grieve not being able to have bio children. He tells me that if we decide we want kids, adoption is always a possibility, but I think he will still feel a little sad if that happens. I don't have any words of wisdom, I'm just in similar shoes as you are right now.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, too, toria.. it's no fun. (understatement of the year?)
My DH definitely did the "man" thing.. being strong for me, acted like it didn't bother him at all.. but now three years down the road, he's finally able to talk about it and it really is bothering him.
I think that we are going to try to get some counseling to deal with this.. it's a huge thing and I just don't know how to help him with it.
Thank you for your reply! I hope that your DH is able to come to terms with things.