TVH: wonders if I am feeling normal

I am feeling so much right now, runs from anxiety to depression. I am having good days and then days that all I do is cry. The thoughts that are running through my head runs me down at times.

I am scheduled for my hysterectomy on Feb 11 and I am scared to death. They are not planning on taking my ovaries but if they have cysts on them they will take them. I have high cancer rates in my family.

I worry about my recovery time and the pain levels after, if they take my ovaries and the thought of having cancer, going back to work to soon, and the feeling of being totally helpless for a while. I went to my PCP today and had him check me over and made sure he listened to my lungs. I also have a fear something will go wrong during my surgery.

Is this all normal?? Or am I driving myself crazy??

Brit

brit,
You sound like I did before my surgery I just had Jan 4th. I have cancer that runs in the family and I had a typ of ovarian cancer 9 years ago, that is not suppose to return the type i had it was like 5% it would come back and even at that if it would come back it would within in 5 years and it has been 9 years so I was in clear I thought, well i novemebr they found a mass on my last lonley ovary my mind went into over drive needless to say!!! My doc said he didnt think it was cancerous but wouldnt know till he was in there.. So I tried to stay positive and some days I was abel to BE IN A GOOD MOOD BUT OTHER DAYS I WOULD CRY IN THE SHOWER, IN FACT SCREAM!!! For me it wasnt because the Hysterectomy I was about to have, That was my option, it was would I make through surgery? I started to lose weight befor eI found out about all this bad news and had lost 30 punds but Still over weight so that worried me!! I tried to tell myself it wasnt cancer but those thoughts took over especially nearing the week before, I would go home and barely found the energy to talk to my family. the day before surgery i kept buissy even went to the mall shopping, ect and of course the night before cried with my husband!! My daughter stayed with my in laws and had no idea what was going on, so that helped..The morning of surgery i was actually calm and glad to know I was going to get this over with and get an answer good or bad I needed to know!! well I was rolled into surgery and already feeling good with meds..lol and what felt like 30 minutes later which was really 3 hours later they were waking me up in recovery.. my first question what did you find, they sadi everyhting went good and first lab shows no cancer. but had to wait 2 more days 2 get final labs and that was hard, well second labs came in and i was fine no cancer!! just a gross tertoma with hair and teeth go figure..lol my point is yes everything you are going thru is normal and you to will be on the other side giving someone this same advise.. Best thing I can tell you stay buissy and heck if you need to cry, cry it helps!!! You will be fine these surgeries are done everyday!!! And I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY BUT AS FOR WORK I HAD SURGERY ON MONDAY AND WENT BACK TO WORK THE FOLLOWING MONDAY, IT WAS TOUGH BUT I HAD TO, BUT I DID NOT DRIVE A CO WORKER PICKE DME UP BECAUSE MY HSBAND GOES IN AT 4 AM SO NO WAY COULD HE TAKE ME AND I OWULD ONLY STAY THERE FIRST 4 HOURS THAT FIRST WEEK AND I WORK IN AN OFFICE WHERE MY CO WORKERS DIDNT LET ME CARRY ANYHTING AND OR GET UP AND THEY ARE STILL REALLY HELP AND I AM NOW 3 WEEKS POST OP AND AS SSON AS I WOUD GET HOME I WOULD REST WITH FEET UP OR LYING DOWN FOR A GOOD WHILE. AND MY MOTHER IN LAW WAS AND IS STILL OCMING ONCE A WEEK TO CLEAN AND WASH AND IRON CLOTHS ECT SO I HAVE BEEN LUCKY WITH ALL THE HELP .. MY HUSBAND WORKS A LOT AND THEY GET STRESSED OUT TO.. HOPE THIS HELPS

Brit
It is so normal to be scared.
We are all scared.
We have to follow all the instructions from our Drs and trust that everything will turn out ok.
We are all with you here and will help you through what ever we can.
Hugs,
Suzanne

Hi. I just want to tell you that my surgery is booked for Feb 24-and Im scared...of something going wrong,of them finding something like cancer,and of the recovery process...I have 2 little people who I try hard to be there for-its going to be hard not helping them and going to do things with my kids.I look forward to this all being over.
Your not alone in those fears.

Thanks ladies! It is so nice to see that I am not alone out there.

One of my sisters had told me that it was normal for me to feel the way I am. Even if I do feel like I am losing part of my womanhood and thinking I might be less than a woman after... How is it that I have such an attachment to a part of my body that for years has made me miserable???

And the fact that my boyfriend thinks that this surgery will be like when I had my bladder sling put in doesn't help.. I am having a hard time with him understanding my recovery process. But I am sure that when I do have it done he will adapt and over come to help me through this.

This site is so nice! To be able to find people that has gone through the same thing helps so much!! Again, Thanks ladies!!!

Brit

You're okay to feel this way. I too was scared and secretly was planning on not showing up to the hospital the morning of my surgery. But, I went through with it and really think that I'll be happy with the results. Right now at 3 weeks post-op, I'm doing well but did have to start HR because both ovaries were removed and I began to have hot flashes. very tender emotions (crying easily) and some mood swings. I'm having faith, though, and I am glad I didn't cancel. Good luck and blessings be with you.

Brit I am right there with you! This past weekend was the WORST!!! I don't know if it all finally hit me or what! My story is a bit different from others as I have not suffered for long. I found my problem January 5th and surgery is scheduled for this Friday!!! How is that for fast! I have been ok this week just because I am soooo busy trying to get things in order! I think all these emotions we are all feeling is perfectly normal! Will pray for you, along with myself and everyone else here!

Yeah Suzanne5, I know what you mean. I to when to the Dr. on the 5th of January and he gave me 2 weeks to think about having the surgery before scheduling it. Even though for years I have said I would LOVE to have one done.. It just seems so different when you are told you need one and they think it would be the best thing for you to do. It hits home!!!

I shall be thinking of you and all the others! Hope you have a great recovery

Dear Brit...sweetie I think its perfectly normal. My surgery (TAH BSO) is scheduled for March 31st and I am already freaking out! I share the same fears as you and then some and they all occupy my every waking thought...its driving me crazy!(and my husband crazy) But we always seem to picture in our heads the worst in these situations don't we? But in the end they never turn out as bad as we had pictured. Funny how we have the ability to freak ourselves out when it comes to things unknown. We are all in the same boat....Hang in there! Keep posting, I find it really helps!

Julie

I also am having those same feelings so I would say it's normal because it is a big thing we are about to do....noone seems to get how you feel but you right. So I read, play games on the computer and talk to my mom....but not about how I'am feeling but about everything else start reading about what to do to get your room ready that helps a little....