Don't worry... you'll be fine

SO glad to read this thread. I am tired of hearing over and over how much better I will feel and how so-and-so did after theirs.

In my case, I think most of the women saying this really do mean well... but they don't grasp the fact that I'm 36, and most of them were in their 50's or older when they had this done. For me, it's not so much the physical as the mental stuff that weighs on me.... and being told "you'll be fine" isn't really helpful!

I know how you feel. I was talking to my husband tonight about my concerns and fears regarding this surgery and he actually got snippy with me and told me "I'm sure the Dr knows what she is doing" and then followed that with, well if your so scared, don't go through with it.

Another lady on an online game site, told me that they are no big deal these days and that the Dr. will actually make me get up and move around within a few hours of surgery.

Some people just don't understand...

Moving around a few hours after surgery? Okay, maybe if you don't have a cath in overnight. I am not getting up and moving around till after they take it out.(I am not sure if they make you get up with a cath in.)

My step Mom had a hysterectomy and it is great that she can talk to me about it all. She said she tried to go out and drive like 3 weeks post op and that by the time she got home she was in tears from the pain. She said she had to take it super easy for the next couple of days.

For me it has to be my sister and my Mom. I texted both of them when I found out my surgery date and my sister actually texted back "ok thanks" My Mom kind of said something like, "Wow, keep me updated." And they wonder why I don't talk to them much. (That is a whole other book.)

Other then them though, every one else around me seems to understand that this is Major surgery. I will be out of it (on pain meds) for probably about a week and not able to drive for at least 2 weeks.

I have a GREAT idea... how bout we build a place just for women like us who live in the middle of " Oh you'll be fine", " You'll feel so much better" " there is really nothing to it" etc...A place we could go and have someone who has been there and UNDERSTAND taking care of us after surgery...
I feel the same way as all of you... EVERYONE has told me the same things... NO ONE has asked me if I am scared, worried or how I really feel about it... NO ONE !!!
But it has taught me to ask that and not to say the same things everyone else does...When I hear of someone who is going to be going thru this or have gone thru it and having problems, I will be a lot more sensitive to their feelings...

It is incredible how those you have not been there have so much advise for us that have to anticipate surgery. My daughter told me I am dwelling on it too much. She is a nurse. My husband thinks in a week I will be myself again. Wouldn't you just love to change places with them.LOL On a more positive note. It is so wonderful to read all of your comments and realize I am not the only one who is also afraid and anxious about their surgery. I am having a LAVH on March 3rd and it is terrible waiting.

I never heard those comments but now that I am 21/2 weeks and able to drive I am kindof fighting the "what do you mean you can't take the kids skiing, its only a 25 mile track there and 25 back on all back roads. " I love being with kids and driving typically is no big deal.

Thank heavens for my DH who is overseeing my business, and his plus its tax season for both companies. He offers to drive at least one way but as Jagster put it

	Quote:
But it has taught me to ask that and not to say the same things everyone else does...When I hear of someone who is going to be going thru this or have gone thru it and having problems, I will be a lot more sensitive to their feelings...

Male or female I am convinced only a select few even get it unless you have gone through it. The thing is I had this situation building for a year prior to this recovery time.I was in pain and did my best to participate.

I will accept this recovery process over that pain and frustration any day. cause you gals remind me daily every day I will feel little bit better .... and I do

Returning back to work this week has been interesting to say the least. I've gotten comments like, "It's about time you came back to work" and "My wife has had a c-section and she isn't tired." Oh, and this is my favorite, "I had that surgery, it was a piece of cake."
To some extent I can understand the men being clueless, but you would think the women would be a little bit more understanding.

I'm glad to see I'm not over reacting to those words. I understand they don't know what to say. I'd rather they say nothing then you'll be ok. I've gone off on a few family members and a couple friends--they understand now that I'M (ME) NOT OK! I get my hyst done on the 22nd. Scared, nervous, overwhelmed at this time ok I'm sure will come some day