No Date: Found out 2 days ago that I have to have a hysterectomy.

Last week was not a good week. I had a regular yearly exam scheduled with my gynecologist on Monday. The day before my appointment, I discovered a large lump in my right pelvic area. My doctor sent me for an ultra-sound on Tuesday. On Friday she called me with the news. I have a cyst on my left ovary and 4 fibroids on my uterus ranging from golf ball size (5cm) to softball size (12 cm). I asked what my options were and she said that she could go in and just remove the fibroids, but she couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't start hemorrhaging during the surgery and that she would still have to do a hysterectomy. So she suggests that I do the hysterectomy. I haven't scheduled the operation yet. I'm probably not going to be able to do it until May or June (unless I have problems before then). I'm scared to death! I've never had any kind of surgery in my life! I'm 42 and I never got the chance to have children. That wasn't by choice - life just caught up with me. I'm very sad about that. I'm feeling very alone right now. Everyone I know who has had a hysterectomy already had children so they really can't understand how I feel. I don't know where to begin on this thing. I guess I'm in shock.

First of all, take a deep breath. She may be recommending a hysterectomy but you don't have to decide anything right now unless there are complications going on. Cysts and fibroids can exist for a long time without causing any problems. If your overall health is good (no anemia from bleeding, nothing looks suspicious, etc) then take time, get a second opinion. It took me 9 months from the time I was told I should have one until I had it done.

It is a shock when you think things are fine and it seems to come out of the blue (whether you have had children or not).
Hang in there, breathe, research, talk to folks here or wherever.

Thank you Renee. I'm trying to take deep breaths, but first I need to stop crying. I kinda already have had a second opinion. My father-in-law is a doctor and he agrees with my doctor. They both pretty much said that there isn't a hurry or anything - it's not an emergency - but the fibroids will continue to get larger and there is only so much room in there. It's already causing me to have severe constipation and bloating. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was saying that hysterectomy is no big deal for women who have already had children. Believe me, I know it's a very big deal for everyone. That's just one component of all the emotions I'm feeling right now. Fear of surgery is #1! But the fact that my choice to have children has been taken from me comes in a very close second - you know? Thank you so much for your help.

Hi I love2camp
You poor thing!! This is a big shock and a nightmare. I was told on Jan 8th that I had to have a hysterectomy - dind't expect that one bit, I also had a cyst on left ovary of 13cm.
I remember feeling shocked, panicked, sick and worried.
I had my operation on 20th Jan and it went very well ie no complications and I am healing great. Now almost 5 weeks post op, I feel physically good, tired but good.
There is no way around this, as Churchill said "if you are going through hell, keep going" !!!
The feelings you have will get better with time, right now you need to focus on getting well, and if you are sad, cry. You will find the strength to get through this, we all do, but in the meantime allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, you wouldn't be human if you didn't.
Try to see if you can speak to a counsellor before the operation, to help you come to terms with it, this will help you to heal better and understand your feelings.
Keep positive as much as you can, try to focus on the good things in your life for as much of the time as you can manage, and remember that time heals everything, even in just a few short weeks you will feel so much better.
BIG HUGS and good luck

I can't even imagine the pain, bloating, and other problems associated with fibroids and a cyst that large. My best advice, if you're still not comfortable with the idea, get yet another opinion!!! I understand the being scared, I truly do. As for having kids, if you have the right man, he will not object to adopting. I know it's not the same, but as someone who WAS adopted, it can be a wonderful thing with the right family!!! Good luck to you!

My brother in law and his wife adopted children 15 years ago -- they are as much a part of the family as the "blood" relatives. We don't even think of them any differently. So, if children is something you desire, there are some special little ones out there in need of love! :-)

I know this is all such a shock - I cannot even imagine. I pray you can find peace in this situation. Try to remember that you are otherwise healthy, have a loving family, and life is good and blessed in that regard.

I'll be adding you to my prayer list. Take care of yourself and proceed at your own pace through this - talk with hubby, girlfriends, parents, family, etc. - you will find support and good advice in the process.

Take care sweetie!

Gwen

I also have a cousin who is adopted...he is family to me. My learning that a hyster would be best for me was a wonderful time for me. I have fibroids and am anemic due to my bleeding. I echo others who say if you need another opinion (even a fourth or fifth one) then go get them! You have to comfortable with the idea of surgery. You have to weigh out the benefits vs what you will go through not having surgery. (((())))

I really think you should see a 2nd OB/GYN (gets lots of opinions, to find the BEST ONE in your area!). Your OB/GYN said she "could" go in & remove the fibroids (with risk) ... many OB/GYN's perform Fibroidectomy's (via Laprascope) with great success! Minimally, if your OB/GYN has to do the procedure, she could start with THAT PLAN IN MIND, and be ready to do a full hysterectomy if necessary. Don't throw in the towel too quickly. I currently have 6 fibroids, my largest (at the moment, is 10cm) ... I know all about the discomforts & pressures of the bowel & bladder & lower back ... it stinks! I wish you ALL THE BEST!!!

~ Tammy

Hi ilove2camp ,

My heart goes out to you. The finality of a hyster makes it tough. Even women with children can feel a great loss, I was 55 and felt it. Its something you always feel is there for you if you want it.

Don't hesitate to get a second opinion or even a third. There are many options for fibroids. Check out: http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/article_191359.htm if you haven't already. Make sure you understand all your options before you make your decision. I took seven years to decide! Its good to be able to look back and know you did what was best for you.

Keep us posted, we care!

,

Pat

ilove2camp,

I am 40 and know how scared you are feeling. I too have a massive fibroid along with multiple smaller ones. By all means get a second opinion if you feel that is best for you but don't ignore those fibroids as they will at some point cause you havoc - heavy periods with gushing and passing of huge blood clots, non-stop periods, anemia - as they have me ....I have gone to ER 2x as a result of this nightmare. I know the bloated feeling, the pressure on the bladder, looking like I am pregnant....I am in the same boat and I too don't have any children. So pls don't feel you are alone ...we are all here with you to support you. It will be 9 months when my journey started to when I go for surgery in a month's time. And this is my first surgery ever and it has had me shedding many many tears. However, thankfully I found this site and which I have found to be a source of encouragement although I am still scared.