TAH: 2 days away...feelings of guilt...is this normal???

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Originally Posted by nieceMB I too have the same thoughts, periodically. Especially if my period isn't as bad as usual, or if I am having a good week. I begin to think of myself as a baby for even complaining, but then I have a really bad week or period then i remind myself that this is why I want this procedure done. I am up and down so much with the hormones, etc. It's too much to wait for things to go haywire again....I feel ya ;-)

That's me exactly ;-) thanks for putting it so well.

Sounds like your emotions are working on you also. Hopefully after we both have our surgeries, all of our worrying will be behind us. If your mom is still having problems now, I think you're making the right decision.

I don't know the problems w/ you and your mom, but I hope it's something you can both work out

Try not to stress....because it get us no where....and the headaches will hopefully get better. I hope you and your BF can work things out. For now, take care of yourself and take it easy and if it's suppose to work out with your BF...it will. Stay positive and good luck w/ surgery. I'll be thinking about you.

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Originally Posted by Kedugator Smarta and NieceB, I had the same thoughts before my surgery, a very normal thing. I kept asking everyone, "Do I really need to do this?" I felt very bad for putting my family under pressure, especially my husband. I felt bad for missing work, and I felt bad for going through a 3rd abdominal surgery in my late 30's. With 5 complicated diagnoses in 3 years, I still had questions. There were lots of gray areas to be considered. I also struggled with removing those organs with what I considered my female anatomy. In chatting with many of the wonderful sisters on this site, several other women in my life, and through spending lots of time with my doc, I received many reassurances that this was the right decision for me. No one organ or operation makes me alone female--it is all in the genes! There are also medical reasons that you have had this recommended for your overall health. You undoubtedly have several diagnoses of your own. It certainly is not something you "signed up" for, or are "electing" to do. Have the peace and the faith that your doctors are leading you to better health. Ask last minute questions, pray, talk to your family, and talk with your doctor. I will tell you that 3 weeks later, I am starting to "turn the corner". I still have pain related to the TAH, but I am starting to feel good again. In the long run, you will be able to be a better, healthier family member because of your recovery. There certainly is no guilt in that. It is a wonderful blessing to think of the recovery prospect! So many women have already gone through this, and have indeed, gotten better. You will have your own unique experience, but it is promising. We are all thinking of you! Keep posting. Remember, you are not alone. You have a community of people here with you who have been through so much. Hugs to you both! My apologies for rambling, but I felt it important!!!!

That's exactly how I feel...Guilty for having my husband and daughter wait on me. I'm so not used to that....not that they're not willing....they will both be great. I'm just not used to people waiting on me. I don't sit still well and I don't like missing work because I feel like people have to do my job. I'm a secretary at a MS and my principal and the other secretary are AWESOME. They are already offering to bring me lunch everyday...just so they can get out of work (ha ha). I just don't ever miss work due to being sick. This will be a big adjustment for me to be limited on what I can do. I don't like reading, so I guess I'll be watching lots of movies.

I have all my family and friends behind me and praying for me along w/ everyone here. You all are great.

Good luck w/ your surgery and thank you very much for the advice.

I'm almost at 3 weeks since my surgery and I know exactly what you are going through. The waiting is the worst part of this surgery. I've been mostly pain free since day one. You just need to keep remembering that you are entitled to having your normal life back and since you have been putting up with this for so many years you will be amazed at how great you will be feeling with in 6 weeks. I wish you the best on Tuesday and try and get some rest which will make you feel better.

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Originally Posted by kimba16 I'm almost at 3 weeks since my surgery and I know exactly what you are going through. The waiting is the worst part of this surgery. I've been mostly pain free since day one. You just need to keep remembering that you are entitled to having your normal life back and since you have been putting up with this for so many years you will be amazed at how great you will be feeling with in 6 weeks. I wish you the best on Tuesday and try and get some rest which will make you feel better.

I'm happy to hear you're feeling good and pain free. That's what I'm hoping for. With your surgery, did they remove your ovaries? I have cyst on both of them, but my doctor is thinking she should be able to save them. I really didn't want to have to take estrogen.

My plan is to....get a good night sleep tonight, go to work like normal tomorrow and not eat a whole lot and then go in and have a successful surgery Tuesday afternoon. Sound like a good plan? Positive thinking

Just wanted to say hang in there. I'll be right there with you on Tuesday, as will many others. We can do this! And we will all feel better once it is done. I don't know exactly what you're going through, as my TAH is out of necessity (pre-cancer), but I know how the worry and anxiety can start to gnaw away at you, no matter how positive you are trying to stay.

Sending you lots of (((HUGS)))

I am sorry you feel this way - but so grateful that you voiced your feelings!

I have mentioned numerous times to my DH that maybe my surgery is not really that necessary - especially when I read about our sisters that are truly struggling every day.

The advice you were given is solid and I am planning to heed all of it. The key for all of us to remember is that we are each unique, as our bodies, our pain tolerance and our personal situations regarding this very difficult and scary decision. Personally, I had to stop comparing myself to others and come to terms with the decision, my doctor, my family and I have arrived at.

I wish you all the very best and look forward to hearing from you after your trip to the castle!

Smarta, what kind of cyst do you have? I have a large dermoid cyst on the ovary I have left (my right one), its grown all around it and smushed it flat like a pancake, and the other was removed for the same exact thing. My dr said he will try to save it, but he said the same thing with the other one and it was just so bad he couldn't. So I'm doubtful about this one. If he can't save it I will be on HRT. I thought it would be just estrogan, but he informed me it will be combo hrt. Even if he can save my ovary I will still have some hrt after surgery. I'm very worried about the whole hrt thing. But I guess it goes with the territory!

I'm the same way about not being used to have people do things for me. Its going to be hard. Well, maybe not too hard when I'm in pain, ha ha! But it'll be awkward. I have a list of movies to watch. I can order them all on my digi cable box. That way I won't have to get up and down to change the dvd, or have someone constanty do it for me.

It seems like me and the BF argue everytime I'm pre-menstrual. Plus now I have all this stress and anxiety on top of it. He says he wants to help, but I'm so mad at him right now and I don't want to not be mad just so he can help b/c then I will feel like I'm just using him, lol. But IDK, we'll see. I do have a couple friends, but I feel guilty for asking for help b/c I know everyone has lives and are busy. I'm weird like that. I will ask if I need it though, I won't have a choice!

And to make matters worse I planned on eating light the week leading up to my surgery to make my bowel cleanse easier, which turned out is an enema, but I've been eating bad and now I'm scared its going to be a mess, lol.

And I have to say goodbye to my kids tomorrow evening, thats going to be hard and I CAN'T cry or it will freak them out.

Oh man, I can't wait until this is behind me!

Wow I have had these exact same thoughts...should I just keep dealing with the pain? Am I being a baby? I can't give you any great advice because my surgery is days away as well. But I can tell you you are not alone.
Blessings.

I think feelings of guilt come with being a woman, but do not put this off anymore. I too thought I could just live with the pain and put off taking care of myself, until the night I fainted on the bathroom floor, after bleeding for more than a month. Still, I didn't want to wake anyone in the middle of the night to stay with my kids, so after they went to school the next day, I drove to the hospital. I ended up in ICU with an abnormal heartbeat, and trouble breathing. The nurses couldn't believe I drove myself without passing out. My hemo was below 5 and I needed 4 units of blood. BUT, I started out just like you, years of painful periods (from fibroids, I now know) and thinking it's not that bad, I'll take care of it later. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NOW! It will only get worse, and I'm sure it's much better to have a planned surgery than an emergency situation. Good luck to you, I'll be thinking of you.

Ava