No family around for surgery

This is a question especially for you single ladies out there-as my surgery date grows closer I realize that though I have friends to help after wards, I have no family nearby to be there for the surgery. I'm thinking worse case scenarios-what if something does go wrong or decisions need to be made-who do I authorize to make those decisions or advocate for me? My brother will be on the opposite coast for a job, my parents are deceased and the aunts and cousin I trust for this are in other states...
Asking a friend to take out the garbage and do some shopping is one thing, asking one to take that on is a lot (though I have a couple of dear friends I think would be willing). Am I a worry-wart? How have those of you without a husband/significant other or family around dealt with this aspect of having surgery?

I'm in denial and avoidance. My dearest friends have died or aren't so dear anymore and I'm not close to my family. So either I need to pick someone-----who?---or make up a very detailed advance directive and talk to the Dr and have it put in my chart each time. And for planned surgery a document can be specific for that. Phone people are OK IF you be sure Dr and hosp know to call them. And be sure the person really knows your wishes and will follow them. I have done none of this but I do know why and how I should. (PS if you're separated and not divorced, in this state and others, he still retains decision authority. Just something for some to consider). Good luck with this, and your surgery.

Greyown-thanks for responding I really appreciate it. I have since talked with my brother and he will be available by phone and a local friend has committed to be there for the surgery as back up. They both understand what I am asking of them and willing to advocate for me. I'm very independent but there are times when you have to ask for help and I've been surprised at the help that has been offered to me.
Hystersisters is a very supportive environment and I have learned much here but it can feel a bit lonely for some of us not surrounded by family when reading all the posts from ladies blessed with family support. Greyown, I hope you'll try doing what I've done-do some reaching out because you'll probably be surprised at what people are willing to help you with-I have been humbled by the support people are offering and it means a great deal to me.
Thanks for your good wishes and peace to you.

Everyone should put their city in their UserCP location was my first thought after reading this... when I saw you needed support I immediately clicked on your profile to see if you were near me and if I could help.

But most of the time the location is not filled in! I know nobody wants a stranger to help them but at least around here we're all sisters and I bet a lot of us would jump at the chance to act like it.

*hugs*
Deedee

Deedee-that's soo sweet-thank you very much for your kind words!

I had my sister take me to the hospital and she dropped me off because she works. The doctor called her when all was done. She came by after work. I was in my room, but I was out of it and asleep so I don't even recall her visit. The next day, I called her to pick me up and she took me home.

At home, I was by myself with 2 dalmatians. I did fine, I knew I could call sis or someone from my church.

As for the Advanced Directive, I had one already made out naming my sister. I didn't feel that she needed to be present but should be available if something disastrous happened. She and I have talked about this in detail because we've had to deal with AD's with our mom, dad and a few aunts and uncles. I talked to my doctor about the fact that no one would be in the waiting room for me and he was ok with that but only after asking me a few questions about this very topic. Once he was assured that I had the AD, my sister was named, she would be ready and waiting for any call from him or the hospital, and I was satisfied in my sister's decisions he was ok with it.

Living alone, you need to have this decided with or without the hysterectomy.

I also am getting and Advance Directive and making my wishes known because I don't want to put anyone is a position of making a decision.

I had the same response -- like where are you? Can I come help? We should form like AA and have sponsors and a club to go be there, I know the last people I want there are my family who will just drive me crazy.

I'm very touched at people's willingness to help-another friend (of 25 years) just offered to be one of the decision makers. I've also looked up health care directives in my state (CA) and it appears to be pretty simple and easy to update-I can literally put one together for this surgery alone which I'm planing to do "just in case" and don't need a lawyer to do so if I use the CA form for it.
Elise, you don't have a surgery date listed but I hope when you do you can find a solution that won't drive you crazy! And Snippet78 thanks-it's nice to hear from other women who have successfully used the same tactic I'm planning on.

Living abroad I wasn't sked to legally find an advocate for decision making - and your question gave me a lot to think about. I am divorced, with three daughters who are even more terrified than me. I have to be calm for their sake. I don't have close family - my sister is in the States and brothers live far away. I do have wonderful friends who will be wiling to help out in any way but as onthefence put it - it is a little too much to ask a friend...
I hope we have Advanced Directive here that covers all the details. I have several months untill my TAH so I will try to arrange something.
I hope you too find an arrangement that will help you feel less alone through this.

Oh My Gosh - I have been wondering this very same thing! I live alone in a town with lots of friends but no family. I think it is too much to ask one of my friends to take a day off while they sit in the waiting room for me, so I am not asking. I will take a taxi to the hospital at 5:00am and then I will call my work the next day when I need a ride home and have one of my co-worker/friends bring me home to my 3rd floor apartment. My Blind mother who doesn't do stairs and lives 60 miles away from me, insists on coming to help me and to see if I can arrange rides for her to and from my home. So I have agreed for her to come and stay with me for 2 day's after my surgery this Thursday. I really hope she will be a better help then a hinderance for me! I love her to death - but the things I need help with are walking my dog and driving for me and she can't do either and it is a ONE bedroom apartment - all I have is a TV, a Computer, a Couch and a Bed????? I hope we still love each other after this is all done - but I will have NO ONE waiting for me at the hospital either - I am very Independant and never ask for help! I hope I can survive too!

Good- Luck
Brenda