Having a really hard time

I haven't posted much so far so here's my story. Today is Day 12. On Sept 14 I had a TAH with bladder suspension surgery. Doctors were wonderful. Hospital staff treated me great. Surgery and immediate post op period was okay. Then I came home. I have always felt like I have a very loving family. Husband of 6 years now (second marriage) and two daughters 20 and 16. But I feel like the three of them have been awful to me. My bedroom is upstairs and I didn't really have a downstairs bedroom to recuperate in so I did all the pre surgery planning to make sure I had most of what I needed in my upstairs bedroom. The first 10 days or so I was also on Vicodin, trying to decrease it slowly as I have less pain. The doctor said it would be best to not take the stairs until after two weeks. What I thought would be a cozy recovery with my family by my side has instead felt like I am an outcast. I have never felt so alone in my life. I have cried so much and felt so sad. It has made me question everything I have with my family. I am just wondering if anyone else has felt really let down by the ones who claim to love us? I know I am more sensitive because of the medicine. But I really do feel very let down.

I didn't really feel like an outcast with my family, but then again, we are all very self reliant, even when sick. I did feel sad and depressed at times, and I think some of what you are feeling is natural and normal. Try to hang in there, increase your activity level daily, and venture downstairs to be with the family. If you are still sore, venture down the stairs and stay for awhile so your trip will be worth it. You should be able to navigate stairs at least occasionally by now.
Kim
LSH 6/2007

I felt and still do feel, very lonely after my hysterectomy. I have a wonderful little family, but I often thought they just forgot about me while I was upstairs. Yes, they'd pop in to see if I was sleeping or needed anything, but they didn't seem to want to just hang there with me. However, after a few days I did feel strong enough to navigate the steps. I came down once in the morning and went up early for bed. I brought my pillows, blanket, and anything else I needed during the day. That way I felt more part of the goings on in the house.

Maybe you can try coming downstairs VERY slowly. I still go step-by-step with each foot and it's been almost 2.5 weeks.

I still feel the loneliness, but not as bad as being all alone in my room. Hope this helps!

Nan

Thank you for your support. I actually can climb the stairs with no pain (during or after) but I thought that by doing so would slow my healing. It's that "you only get one chance to do your recovery right" thing that keeps me laying low. But I think the all these medications, the Vicodin, the antibiotics, the Benedryl (the pain meds make me itch), the Motrin are messing with my chemistry and making me so much more sensitive emotionally. I have cried so much the past few days. But hopefully it will get better. If my body feels okay after a walk or the stairs, is it okay or am I slowing down my recovery? Going downstairs and outside I am sure would help me feel better.

I think at this point you can use your body as your guide. If it hurts, don't do it or go slower. Stairs are tough on the abdominal muscles which is why they say don't do a bunch of stairs, but as long as you aren't up and down a bunch of times a day I don't think you are going to hurt anything. At this point your psyche and ego need more support than your abd wall muscles I'm thinking. I'm with the others, try it - head downstairs slowly, stay for a while to make the trip worth it, and then if you have to, go back up to rest but then come back down when everyone is around.

I'm sure your family loves you....they don't know what to do for you, so don't be afraid to ask. If it hurts to much to go downstairs, ask them to come in and stay for a bit. Don't be afraid to tell them you need them. I know it's hard....hang in there..... this too will get better!

This was my first surgery and I am hardly ever sick. I spent most of all day every day the first week by myself at home. All these years of taking care of sick children and husband, I was hurt from the lack of attention. I only wanted to be pampered just a little bit.