TAH/BSO a year ago today

My journey started well before September 30th 2009, the date of my surgery. My gynecological history has never been the best with menorrhagia, polyps, a miscarriage, fibroids, failed ablation in my background. A hysterectomy became the only permanent solution to trips to the emergency room to temporarily fix the pain. The pain was leaving me breathless, sleepless and feeling out of control of my own body. By outward appearances, I was resolved and moving forward with conviction once the decision for a hysterectomy was made. Inside, my fear was palpable, and it had a name. I prided myself on being a pillar of strength for my friends and family. When I tried to lean on them for support, I think it baffled them, and was offered an occasional "there, there, you'll be just fine". My physical self healed rapidly. I do that, heal fast. I am not the woman in my journey, I am new. Hystersisters has allowed me to feel I am not alone. It allows a place for me to vent, even if just in my head.