In Mourning (kids mentioned)

Yesterday, my husband and I were looking at my 5 yr. old and he says "Don't you want to have another one?" I just patted him on the shoulder and turned my head away before he saw the tears. I know he didn't say it to be mean or anything, and we did NOT want another child (we have 2). I guess I was sad because I lost that childbearing part of me. Any insights?

My husband mentioned something in passing last night, totally innocent, and I also broke down. We don't have any kids. I'm usually ok with it, but now that the decision is "final" and was taken out of my hands (health reasons) it's a whole different game. Adding fluctuating hormones doesn't help!

Best wishes with the journey! Keep posting. You're not alone!

No, you aren't alone. I suffered with heavy bleeding for three years because I couldn't get it out of my head that I would be taking away any chances of having another child. I have a 20 year old son, and a 9 year old autistic son, so it wasn't even realistic for me to consider having any more children. I've avoided thinking about it since the surgery, on purpose.

Be thankful for what you have...or in some cases do not have. They are a blessing but so can the love of just two people in love......

Hang in there. I had my son and because he was born at 26 weeks and my blood pressure got out of control (fine now). My husband and I decided not to have any more children. Four years later that decision was made permanent. It was a hard decision but I would rather be here for my child then risk my health and orphan my son at such a young age. I am so thankful for one child, which more than those who can never have children. I do wish we could have one more and thought about adoptions. That gives me hope but it still is kind of hard to believe that I will never have any more. But, when I get sad I just look at my son and smile, he is the light of my life!!

I have 2 sons ages 14 and 11. My husband and I decided about 6 yrs ago that we were done and he had a vasectomy. For the past 6 weeks I am about in tears when I see any babies, pregnant women, tv programs etc. I really want to cry. I also have dreams about every other night that I am either pregnant or have a new baby. I have even had a dream that I had a baby and left him in a closet for a week! OMG I think I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!

You aren't alone. I have 5 children. When I had the last child on 9/26/10 I also had to have the hysterectomy to save my life. We knew since week 22 of the pregnancy that myself and the baby had less than a 50% chance of survival. Even though my husband and I knew this would be our last child (he was getting a vasectomy - as this was a surprise - birth control failed) I still get upset and angry. This has been a lot to heal from. I also had an apple sized hole in my bladder. I still have kidney stents in and have surgery next week to get them out.

I'm grateful to be alive and I'm grateful our child made it. I had him prematurely at 33 weeks pregnant. No matter the situation I think it's natural for us as women to be sad when our option of child bearing is permanently gone.

I can relate - and I'm glad to see these posts - since I thought I was going crazy too.
I have two children (7 and 10) and was very clear I didn't want anymore. Their father and I divorced, and when I met my fiance we also agreed we weren't having babies (he's 11 years older than me, I'm 41, my two kids are great and tire me out plenty, blah, blah, blah).
Then, I had my hyst in Sept and now I'm grieving for the children I'll never have. I find this strange as I didn't want anymore before surgery anyway. I'm guessing this is part of grieving for the loss of my uterus, and grieving for the changes in my life now (HRT, lack of energy post op, etc)
Best wishes.

I'm having similar issues. I have 2 girls and a boy. When my son was born I had my tubes tied because I was sure I didn't want any more kids, however now that I'm getting ready to have a tvh i'm crying every time I see a baby, or someone mentions. It is getting really frustrating, I made this decision already, why would impending hyster bring up all these questions again?

im in the same boat, im 24 i have 2 boys, my uterus is so messed up that i actualy had to have a lap done 4 months after my first son was born. My first born was a preemie (31 weeks) my doc said no more becasue i got pre eclampsia with my first. I said im not taking no for an answer and after 2 years of trying and help with a fert doc we had our second son,only 3 weeks early thankgod.
so here i am my youngest is 9 months and i will be having my hyst around the begining of december. i was pretty sure i didnt want anymore babies,my husband was itching to get a vasectomy because he d*****itly doesnt want anymore. But yet since the decision has been made i think about it everyday what names we would have picked and such. I am d*****itly mourning the children i will never have. It wasnt untill my doc said it was time that i truly realized i really did want a house full of kids..
your not alone,we are all right behind you!