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Help! No desire to have sex Help! No desire to have sex

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Unread 11-11-2010, 09:45 AM
Unhappy - Help! No desire to have sex Help! No desire to have sex

Anyone have any idea what a person can take or use? I had a hysterectomy in 2003 and was very sexually active before hand... now nothing!! I have lost 3 husbands due to not having the desire to have sex so they found someone that did, I have known the man I am with now for 20 years and always wanted him, we got together 4 years ago and I do not want to lose him to, he really deserves loving and I just have NO interest any more, someone please help
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Unread 11-11-2010, 11:01 AM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

Have you had your hormones checked to make sure everything is in balance? Some times a little more of something can help. Have a doctor do your blood work & make sure everything is ok. Best wishes to you.
Unread 11-11-2010, 11:02 AM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex


I'm sorry that you're having problems post-op but you're sure not alone in what you are going through.

Have you discussed your concerns with your doctor? There can be a lot of causes for the lack of sex drive and it's important to figure out the cause, whether it's related to hormone imbalance, thyroid, medications, etc.

You kept your ovaries but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are functioning "up to par" since surgery. Your doctor could run a simple FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) test and you could also ask to have your free and total testosterone levels checked, as well as thyroid levels. Those would be good starting points and your doctor may have helpful suggestions as well.

If your doctor isn't helping you with your concerns, find one who will. That can be easier said than done but it's too important to not pursue.

Be sure to check out the resources for sexual dysfunction in this link: Sexual Dysfunction Resources and please let us know what the doctor says, okay?

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Unread 11-11-2010, 11:15 AM
Angry - Help! No desire to have sex Re: Help! No desire to have sex

Well I did not get to keep my ovaries, they left a piece of one so I did not have to take hormone pills, which is great but I hate not being interested in sex or even wanting it, The man I am with is very sexy and desirable to me But I just dont have an interest and this is VERY frustrating I HATE it very much!! I really wish there was something you could take to make it better as like others I hate using KY it makes a mess and gets sticky like glue and dries quickly only to have to use more GRRRR!!! Again any help would be greatly appreciated Thanks to all
Unread 11-11-2010, 11:28 AM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

Have you had your hormone levels tested? Do you have any of the typical menopause symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, etc.?

There are plenty of different personal lubricants to try so if KY isn't right for you, try a different one. My doctor recommended Astroglide and of the ones I have tried, that one is my favorite for those times when I need it. If you're experiencing vaginal dryness or vaginal atrophy, ask your doctor about using vaginal estrogen to help plump up those tissues and keep them moist and elastic. It can make a huge difference! Here's more information on that subject: Vaginal Dryness.

Again, work with your doctor to figure out the cause of your lack of desire. Without knowing the cause, it's hard to specify what might help. In my case, it was hormone imbalance. By using estrogen, progesterone and testosterone, I was able to regain my libido. It took trial and error plus a lot of time to get it all figured out.

Hope this helps!

Unread 11-11-2010, 03:08 PM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

Most definately vaginal dryness, it is like a sand paper pit, I know its not funny by any means but I am sooooo Sick of this, I will call my doc tomorrow to see when I can get in. I read on the link you gave me about a lady that also had severe IBS problems, so do I, it must be associated some how.
Unread 11-15-2010, 05:14 PM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

I understand where you are coming from and I am sorry I can't answer your question. I have been in this boat for many years and there is no amount of lubricant or vaginal creams available to help with a loss of libido. I really hope you find something to help you. I am supposed to see a sex therapist soon and will keep you updated.
Unread 01-06-2011, 11:04 AM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

I had a hysterectomy last year and I am going through the same problem. It has gotten bad that I don't care if I have sex or not. I feel my boyfriend might leave me. I force myself to have sex now but it is not enjoyable and I want it over with asap.
Unread 01-06-2011, 06:29 PM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

I had my hysterectomy ovaries and all in 2007 because I had cancer. I have not been in a relationship in the time since then and that is fine because I have no real desire either. Every now and then I will wake up in the middle of the night having sexual dreams. Sorry if this is TMI but when I have to "take matters into my own hands", I CAN have multiple orgasms but I have NO natural lubrication anymore whatsoever and it ends up just being so frustrating that it isn't worth it. I feel your pain!!!
Unread 01-06-2011, 11:33 PM
Re: Help! No desire to have sex

I feel for you! I had a TAH in 2001 at the age of 30. I had an above average sex drive and was fairly "aggressive" when it came to instigating sex. Within 3 months of my hysterectomy, my sex drive plummeted. I tried hrt, but because of my migraines and family cancer history, stopped taking them. (they controlled my menopause symptoms but had no effect on my libido). I married 2 months after my TAH, and was divorced in 2003. All I heard was how I wasn't the same woman any more. I was heart broken and devastated. My husband and I did reconcile a year later, but it has been a VERY rough road. I still have NO sex drive and no actual desire for intimacy. I have to force myself to have sex with my husband because I love him and don't want him to stray. I have been lucky in one sense, I have had very little, if any, problems with dryness. I am going to my GYN today to see if she will do hormone checks, etc. I'm also hoping to continue to qualify for the Bloom Study. I have heard great things about bio-identical hormones, but not sure I can get them as insurance will not cover it. I will know more tonight and will update when I do.

Most importantly, don't give up. I went 10 years thinking I was alone in this and that it was just me. I knew I loved my husband, I just couldn't understand why I couldn't stand to be touched. I thought I was going crazy. I wish I had researched it a long time ago!!!!

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