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how do you find help when you are emotionally lost how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

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Unread 11-26-2010, 08:13 PM
how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

I will try to make this as short as I can. It has become clear that I have never dealt with any of the things that happened to me in my life (childhood) & now everything is too much. I am not functioning as a normal healthy adult. I am sad. I went to a counselor & she is not helping at all so how do you find the right therapist? Can you just walk into a church & say I am a completely lost person, show me where to go to get help? I have spent 2 years just in a room in my house getting through the day. I have a wonderful marriage & should be one of the happiest people on our planet. I want to be a happy emotionally healthy person & just need some guidance on how to get help? Where do you go to start?

This will need to be moved because I am 2 years post-op but these issues are not because of my surgery. I am doing well from that. I just know a lot of people here have been through a lot & I know someone knows where to start to look for help for yourself.

Thank you!!!!
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Unread 11-26-2010, 08:34 PM
Re: how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

Just keep trying different therapists. My daughter went to three at one facility and none of them helped. I got frustrated and typed in Counselor in the city we lived and called the first one on the list. She really helped my daughter. So if one does not work just keep trying.
Unread 11-26-2010, 08:59 PM
Re: how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

Hi! Yes, you may have emotional baggage from other times in your life, but I'm betting that some of your depression and feelings of despair DO come from your surgery.

My abdominal hysterectomy (cervix kept, ovaries removed) was close to yours - November 10, 2008. I am far from being the happy, balanced person I was before my surgery. My doctor (who was new to me) rushed me into the surgery because of what she thought was a problem needing prompt attention. I scheduled a time too soon for my heart to be ready. I was fine with being done with children (I was 51), but I was not ready for the physical changes, from the surgery and from menopause. Those physical changes are always there, all day long. You can feel them; you can see them. I feel like my happy, energetic, romantic days are a thing of the past, like they were robbed from me. I am always worried and pre-occupied and am constantly seeing things in the news, in magazines, online, etc. about hysterectomy options, none of which were discussed with me as being possible. I cry a lot.

I now have a therapist (something I thought I'd never have) and have been on antidepressants (something I thought I'd never need.)

Yes, do consider a church as a source of support! I have gotten hugs, notes of encouragement, and prayers from members in my church. It may take a few referrals from the church office, but there is someone out there who really will care for you, someone who has likely been through the same thing. Someone to pray for you. It is very powerful knowing that someone is praying for you. I spent time today reading from a devotional book (all churches have lending libraries) and it helped. Nothing has helped me feel totally better right away, but one thing will lead to another bit of help to someone else with a hug, to someone else with an ear, and so on. It's how I'm getting by. If your wonderful husband is like mine, he's at his wit's end trying to solve your problems.

This was life-changing surgery. No one prepared you for that. Leave the house and do something that makes you even temporarily happy. Contact an old friend from the past. Go have ice cream. Read a mystery (that's mind-consuming.)

I'll pray for you. I am two years out and still suffering, too.

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Unread 11-26-2010, 09:19 PM
Re: how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

I am sorry you are suffering too. I will pray for you also. My husband has been wonderful & would do anything in the world to help but he must be beyond frustrated just watching & not being able to solve this for me. I know he would if he could. Then I feel guilty because I should be making his life better, not difficult. I have not been the same since the surgery, you are correct about that. I kept my ovaries & they are working well. There is a little hormonal stuff but I do not feel like it is much yet. But, I never knew someone who had been through surgery could be so helpless. You can not go through that & be the same person. I could not even pee by myself for 2 days. It scared me silly. I thought I was dealing with all the fear but I am not. But I was also struggling for years before the surgery. A few years would go by & I would be pretty good but looking at it now I feel like I just sorta got by & suppressed everything now it is all in my face & I do not know what to do with any of it. I will have to force myself out of the house & make some new friends. I do not have any here. I am as isolated as a person can get. Not like people wise. I live in a "normal" neighborhood & all but I myself am so far in the hole I dug. I see the light at the top of the hole & I will try my best in these next days to climb out of it. I want to. & My husband will go with me where ever I need to go. I am not an alcoholic but out of desperation for help, I walked into an AA meeting alone & so afraid & I met the nicest people on the other side of that door. I still go since they will have me because I may hear something that will help me. I try to give myself credit for having the guts to walk in there. Thank you both so much. Not that I want anyone to ever feel like this, but to know people have & can be ok is helpful!
Unread 11-26-2010, 10:22 PM
Re: how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

Seabutterfly -

I went to 2 counsellors before I found one that wokred for me. Actually the one that worked was someone recommended by a friend. My counsellor told me any time you are looking for a new Dr. of any kind you should schedule appointments with 3 different Drs and see how those initial visits go to see if the fit is right.

I would suggest contacting one of your Drs say your general practitioner or a Dr. that you trust and asking them for recommendations. If you have friends who have gone through therapy you may also ask them. Usually there are Drs groups in towns and you could call them as well.

You can go to a church and talk to the minister or priest and they may know of someone to recommend you to as well.

I can tell you first-hand that if this is depression of any sort and especially if it is clinical depression you won't dig yourself out of this by yourself.

You deserve to be happy and feel emotionally balanced, sending that you find a course of action that works for you.

Unread 06-10-2011, 10:16 PM
Re: how do you find help when you are emotionally lost

I wanted to let you all know that I found the best Christian counselor in the world and I am doing so much better. It is true, just keep looking until you find what you need.

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