Thinking about cancelling surgery

After reading posts on the post-op board, I am getting very nervous and scared and am thinking about cancelling my surgery. I need to have my uterus removed because of my fibroids. Right now, I have no real pain from them or heavy bleeding. My complaints are back pain, constant need to pee and the fact my stomach is so large (uterus estimated to be around 20 weeks). From what I have read, after surgery I am looking at having a swollen belly on and off for weeks, the possibility of "early menopause" symptoms, not fitting into my clothes, etc. I know this is major surgery but I was hoping that after 4 - 6 weeks, not only would I be feeling better, back at work and back to "life" again, but also that I would have my flat stomach back. I feel like I am facing more problems having the surgery than I have now.

You know, if you don't want to do it, you don't have too. The way my doctor put it (and he almost sounded like he was trying to talk me out of it) when he recommended hysterectomy as my best option, was that, its something you'll go in and ask for when you are ready for. He also stressed that I was allowed to change my mind up until I had surgery, but couldn't afterward. I myself, had been saying I was going to sell my reproductive organs on the black market for months before seeing this doctor (he was my second opinion, my original doctor refused to do anything at all and kept telling me there was no reason for me to be in pain).

Here's what I'd keep in mind with the fibroids though... Just because you aren't in horrible amounts of pain/having heavy periods, doesn't mean that you won't have these issues later. Then once its done with, its done with. The issues ease up eventually, at least it sounds like it does and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

I had everything removed and opted not to do HRT. I've been fine handling the menopause thing on my own by adding extra calcuim/vit d and taking Estroven PM(otc). I use the PM verrsion because it helps me sleep and the night sweats went away.

If your not sure about have the surgery get another opinion. My decision was easy because I had already had one surgery to removed the cysts off my ovaries plus she did ablation. A few months later the pain was back and the cysts were back plus my fibroid had grown.

At 9 months post op I am doing great. Recovery was way easier than I had thought. A big part of my easy recovery was the fact that I was prepared for the surgery by the help of the ladies on this site.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Surgery is a very personal choice. No one can tell you what to do. When I talked to my doctor about having my uterus removed due to heavy bleeding, fibroids, major cramps and back pain every month, she turned me on to this site. I'll admit, I had second thoughts after reading all the issues people were having. But, then I weighed all the negativity and issues against what my qualify of life could be and to me, it was worth taking the risk. In general, people tend to be negative before being positive. And, I'm not certainly calling anyone a cry baby. These issues are real and everyone deals with things differently.

I'm 39, never had kids or wanted any, in decent shape, active and I'm healthy. 7 weeks ago today, I had my uterus removed and my left ovary because endometreosis had taken it over. My surgery went perfectly. I went home the next day and was walking around fine that evening, off my pain meds in 3 days, and I'm feeling great! I have no regrets that I had this done.

Depending on the type of surgery you're going to have, it will take time for you to gain all of your energy back. Your body has to heal and you have to let it. If you're not willing to let your body heal for a minimum of 6 weeks, then I would probably consider other options. This is major surgery, not just a pap or a biopsy. You know your body best.

I would talk to your doctor. If you're haven't consider Da Vinci surgery, I would look into it. I'm glad that I went that route. Good luck to you!

Strongmanslady - I felt exactly the way you are feeling right now before my surgery except that I didn't have the back pain. I can only speak from my experience but this operation was 100 times less than I envisioned. I remember going into the OR thinking that I felt fine and that I wouldn't be fine after so what the heck was I doing. Then I remembered that I had to constantly go to the bathroom and that I was getting more and more incontinent. So in I went and when I finally came to the next day (the evening of the surgery is a blur as I don't do well with anesthetic) I was totally shocked that I had no pain except for the incision pulling when I got up. The incision pulled for about a week and a half and then a week or so later, I had some pulling and twinges from inside and that was about it for discomfort. I never had any real pain. I made sure that I did what was needed to have a bowel movement as soon after surgery as possible. My energy is high and had been all along. I am sticking to the doctor's recommendations like glue as I don't want to compromise my healing and so far so good (Touch wood).

As to my stomach, that is a whole other story. I must admit that I don't like the way it looks now (slightly poofy and sagging at the bottom over the incision) but it is flatter than it was with the football sized uterus in it. I honestly can't decide whether is it swelly belly or just fat but I am hoping it will flatten in time. I am not young (52) so my skin isn't as elastic as it would be if I was younger but having lost 30+ lbs in the last year and a half, overall it has sprung back just fine. So long story short, I am happy with the results of the operation as my bladder is a lot happier (I went for an hour and half walk the other day and didn't have to go looking for a bush or a bathroom) and I am hopeful about my tummy.

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Originally Posted by Danni3ll3 (I went for an hour and half walk the other day...

Holy cow! I'm not quite three weeks behind you, and I can walk for 10 minutes at a time right now. I just tire so easily. I'm hoping these next three weeks will make all the difference.

Strongmanslady - remember that people who feel great and have no questions will likely NOT come back to a support message board unless they were here for a while before surgery and made friendly connections. Also, those who join after hysterectomy are not the ones who bounced back and everything is going perfectly - why would they seek out support?

So, there's a heavy bias towards difficulty or fear in the post-op forum, in my opinion. I'm nearly 2 weeks post-op and really doing better than I thought I would be.

My surgeon's nurse had a hysterectomy and is thin and fit. I was worried that I'd have a tummy permanently, and had discovered a horrible website that says a woman's ribcage rests on her hips after hyster, and she said, "Do I look like I've had one?" Nice surprise.

You can always change your mind right up to the surgery. I considered it, but then realized that just because I wasn't flooding and in pain and passing out from severe anemia at that moment didn't mean it might not return tomorrow. So far, no regrets.

My hyster is scheduled for a few weeks away and I think about canceling it every day...because it's right before Christmas (will I be home with my family?)... What about ureter stuff, nicked bladders and bowels, etc etc... I could go on all day with the what ifs, but I know that I have been miserable for a long time, and it took me a long time to get a date, so I know that this is the best thing for me. I wish you all well with your surgeries, and most importantly, with your recoveries.

Buffenie - For some reason, I never got the exhaustion that everyone else seems to have although when I couldn't get a solid night's sleep those first few days, I did feel tired. As to the walk, well, at your stage of the game, I was walking about one km every couple of days. I found that I was sometimes tender the next day and since I am on my "princess" schedule, I didn't push it if I didn't feel like going that day.

Anotherwoman - Just before my surgery, I stopped reading all the horror stories on the post-op side and read only the positive ones. There can be so many ifs, ands, or buts and you can stew like crazy about what might happen, but when you really think about it, it is out of your hands. Think positive thoughts and hopefully, everything will go well.

strongmanslady,

To have this surgery or not is a very personal decision. Your current situation (back pain, constant urination, huge stomach filled with fibroids, 20-week uterus) sounds like my situation prior to my surgery. The only difference is I also had the scary hemorraghing and a 22-week uterus.

Not everyone goes into early menopause. It all depends if you keep your ovaries or not. For me, I lost one ovary but was able to keep one and so far I am doing alright.

I personally don't regret having the surgery. My surgery went very well and my recovery is going better than I had imagined.

Yes, I do have a swelly belly but that will go away in time hopefully. For me, having a swelly belly is a small price to pay in exchange for my scary hemorraghing and carrying that nasty alien

Was I scared prior to surgery? Of course...I was terrified but am glad I went thru with it.

Again having the surgery is a very personal decision that only you can make as it is major surgery and there could be complications that you will have to live with. But then again, there may not be any at all.

Give it a lot of careful thought and weigh out the pros vs the cons of having the surgery. Also remember if you wander over to the Post-Op boards, there are many sisters with good recovery experiences that don't post. And everyone's recovery experiences is different. So try and stay on the Pre-Op boards so as to not scare yourself.

Best wishes with whatever you decide.

I am so up and down and back and forth withnmy feelings. I thought I was going to cancel just yesterday. All the waiting, research and crying would be for nothing. I feel like I would end up right back in the same spot.

I had my pre-op appt today. I sat down in my doctor's office ( been my doc for 22-23 years). He started going over the history and this could happen or that could happen... He really can't know exactly what to expect until he is in there. I told him "do what you need to and tell me after". That was so freeing. I told him how much I trust him, and I really do.

I do know there are a lot of repairs to be made and he will do a great job. I do have to do the bowel thingy and that is going to be fun!! Maybe I'll just move in the bathroom with my iPad!

I was feeling pretty negative and lost yesterday. Today I'm much better and I truly hope it stays that way.

Evie