I need to vent a little bit...
I thought that the more I researched, I would get answers to my questions and settle in my mind about having a hysterectomy.
My surgery date is not set yet, but will probably be sometime in September.
I am 54, been in menopause since age 42, been on bio-identical HRT for the past 6 years.
Because I've taken estrogen and built up the lining of the uterus, I have always done cycled bleeds to clean out the uterus and give the lining a rest. That is, until last year.
Last year I had a bozo doctor and he accused me of self-medicating because I was always seeking the lowest estrogen levels and did monthly bleeds. He did an endomentrial BX and all was normal. But, he took me off of HRT cold-turkey. I learned later that going cold-turkey can create excelerated bone loss and stir up massive hot flashes. That is exactly what happened to me.
After 4 months and a new doctor, I went back on HRT, but again she never tested levels and the new doctor never suggested I cycle or anything - so I didn't cycle this time. HUGE MISTAKE...
For the past 7 months I have had an endometrial lining growing with no relief in sight. On June 1, I got another endometrial BX (almost a year later) and this time it is bad news: Complex hyperplasia with atypia (a pre-cancer condition caused by estrogen dominance)
I am so angry at my doctors and I'm angry at myself for listening to them instead of following my own instincts.
For the past month I have changed over to a cancer diet (raw, organic fruits, vegetables and nuts). Now, I am able to finally start reducing the estrogen without the hot flashes. I'm almost totally off the estrogen and I have raised my progesterone dosage. For the past year I have been actively removing environmental estrogens also.
I wish one of my doctors had suggested a diet change years ago... I would never have known about the diet change without my pre-cancer diagnosis. So far that is the only good thing about this diagnosis.
The doctors just think "she's 54, menopause and doesn't need her uterus and ovaries anymore so we will just take them out and this will all be over".
I'm really having to process the anger... I've made an appt with my gyn to see how she would support my hormones post-hysterectomy and that will help me decide if she is going to listen to me and what I think my needs are or if she is just working from some standard plan like my HRT seemed to follow. More than likely I won't be going back to her. But I will still need to deal with osteopenia and vaginal dryness. Maybe the hot flashes will be gone after this is all over... I just don't know.
I'm just so angry and wish this would all go away. I just can't believe that none of these doctors have suggested I change anything. Right now, I am wishing all my aggressive changes would bring a total and complete turn around and another BX would show that I don't need the surgery after all.
I'm concerned that I am really setting myself up for a huge disappointment. I haven't read about anybody turning this diagnosis around permanently. Usually, the diagnosis is changed temporarily for women that want to have another child. Then, the hysterectomy still comes.
Thanks for listening to me vent.
Angry and sad,