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Depressed and feel hopeless Depressed and feel hopeless

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Unread 09-16-2011, 02:29 PM
Depressed and feel hopeless

Hello ladies, I had my hysteroctomy 2 and half weeks ago on august 29 I had my ovaries and tubs taken also. I have been feeling very down and depressed lately I am on hormones. I feel very depressed about not being able to children I feel I have lost so much and I will never have the chance to be a mother. Can any of you ladies help and give me advice.
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Unread 09-16-2011, 03:01 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

Hi Heather,

Please forgive me if this response ins't perfect, I am a virgin here!

First of all, I am so sorry about your loss, you will be in my positive thoughts.
Secondly, I can tell you from experience, my surgery was August 10, it takes at least three weeks to start feeling a difference from the hormones. If you don't feel any better soon ask your doctor to up your estrogen strength and/or add progesterone.
If you are not taking supplements get on a good multi, B-6,
B-Complex, Omega 3 - they will help with the depression
I had horrible mental/emotional and physical issues until the estrogen was upped.

Please find a good counsellor, friend or spiritual mentor to help you through the emotional loss of not being able to have children.

I know this doesn't really help, just wanted you to know someone is thinking about you and wishing you wellness.
Unread 09-17-2011, 04:58 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

Thank you for your thoughts and advice. My dr uped my estregen now and it seems to be help a little but I am dealing with my grandma is very sick with lung cancer. I am taking vitmines to help me though all of this.
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Unread 09-18-2011, 05:38 AM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

It sounds like you have alot going on. I'm so sorry you had to deal with never being able to have children. I was blessed with a daughter(16) We tried for 14 yrs to have another one! When told I had to have a hysterectomy I was completely devestated My dream was coming to an end! Even though after 14 yrs I knew it was already over, but I held on to the fact it COULD possibly happen!
I could never understand what your going through, My only advice would be try and make peace with your life!
I have two step-sister's and neither one could have children. One chose to adopt 3 children and the other one is living kid free! Both of them are very happy with their decision. The one who is living kid free work's at a school and say's she loves those kids but also loves coming home to a quiet house! LOL! I'm not sure if this helped you out at all, but just thought I would share
Unread 09-23-2011, 03:35 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

I also had my hysteroctomy on August 29. I also share your feelings about not having children. I just turned 40 and I don't understand why it wasn't in the plans for me to have children. Society and the media make it worse. I don't know how I will respond to the question about why I don't have any children. Stay strong. I find I have good days and bad. It is difficult to stay positive. If I find any resources I will pass them on.
Unread 09-24-2011, 09:51 AM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

dear Ladies,

i would like to share that church counselling has helped me greatly with the issues on children. i can now look and coo at babies.

(i) Do not feel guilty/bad. this is a vicious cycle with no end in sight. God loves us and He would never want us to have such feelings. These feelings are from the Evil guy.
(ii) being a mum has many meanings....u can mentor the younger generation, be a better aunt, etc
(iii) adoption is another route to consider.

i found step (i) to be very helpful.

i have many bad days too, but am at peace with this one.
Unread 09-24-2011, 07:11 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

So sorry for your loss...hope you are able to find some comfort. Do you have a back up plan? For me being a Mom was so important.....I couldn't imagine not having children. My uterus has always been crap and mentally I always had a back up plan. We adopted two girls and I am the MOM. I change diapers, wipe noses and nuture these children....they are the look like me....NO.....but they love me and know that they didn't grow inside my body, but in my heart. We pray for the birth moms who were loving enough to make sure they were in a good family. When my 7 year old asked about my recent hysterectomy I told her they were taking out my baby making parts and she asked questions about she just tells her friends I wasn't planning on using those parts. Whatever your decision counseling is a great option! Wishing you better days ahead!
Unread 09-27-2011, 11:38 AM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

Hello Ladies- I am 42 and had a LAVH/BSO everything is gone, both ovaries removed. I would like to share my divorced in 2007, after 16 years of marriage and had 2 children. I had my children very young, so they were getting older at that point. I have to admit I "hated men" and did not have any hope for love after my horrid marriage. saying that....I became very peaceful and happy with myself..dove into my career and felt good about myself (still a man-hater). I met Jaime (my husband now) and when we were dating he told me that he could not have children, he got hurt and had surgery when he was 13. I saw how upset this made him. Even though I had 2 children and was not planning on having more, I felt horrible for him. We married quickly and I got pregnant at 39, delivered at 40 years old. Now, I feel horrible that I can not give him more children, even tho I think i'm too old to have babies....he is a wonderful dad and a child would be lucky to have him for a daddy. He told me that he would adopt if we decide to have another. My point here is, if you would make a wonderful mother then consider adoption...there are so many beautiful children in this world with no mommy...don;t beat yourself up about not being able to have children...maybe it's your calling to be mommy to one of the children that have no mom? Maybe that is what God wants of us? They deserve a good life also, maybe we can help them live a wonderful life. I have considered volunteering or doing something to help these children woth no breaks my heart and I feel like I am being called to do something. Good luck to all of you and thank God for this website, it has helped me tremendously.
Unread 09-27-2011, 12:45 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

Originally Posted by heather2526 View Post
Hello ladies, I had my hysteroctomy 2 and half weeks ago on august 29 I had my ovaries and tubs taken also. I have been feeling very down and depressed lately I am on hormones. I feel very depressed about not being able to children I feel I have lost so much and I will never have the chance to be a mother. Can any of you ladies help and give me advice.
I understand where you are coming from- had my hysterectomy and ovaries surgery last wednesday-and have cried a lot since and before the surgery. I am 41 and always thought I would have a house full of children- but now am without a child at all and not able to even have one. I just found out that a friend of mine at 42 is going to have a child- which has upset me more than I thought... I am on hormones but it seems to not be working at calming these thoughts. I am seeing a counselor on thursday though- because I need an outlet and my family does not understand my feelings. We need a discussion forum just for us... childless and no chance to have one of our own. I know most say that we can adopt- but for me, the feeling of a child inside of me that had some of me and some of my husband was what I wanted more than anything in life. I cant even think of adoption right now.
Unread 09-27-2011, 01:15 PM
Re: Depressed and feel hopeless

Dawn- I'm sorry for your sadness. You are right, no one will understand unless they are in your shoes. At the very least I can send you gentle hugs.

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