Recovery Progress Reports for Hysterectomy dates Jan 02-Jan 08,2012

Super Wife thank you for the info. The only time I have taken any pain mess was after my Dr visit last Thursday when the Dr put more stitches on my vaginal cuff. His words were it looked like raw meat in a couple areas & was still bleeding. I don't know if that could be what you have described, but I would have thought my Dr would have mentioned it if that is what he thought it was.

Superwife, you took the words right out of my mouth....well, some of them.

The way that you feel is valid no matter what you feel.

I am so tired of trying to meet other people's expectations when they ask, "How are you feeling?" Why do I feel the need to say "great" when I don't feel great at all? I guess I just don't want to let anyone down or invite scrutiny. Many of the people that I've told the truth to have come back with "well, it takes some people longer than others" or "some people just have a lower pain tolerance." I have to fight to resist the urge to explain in great detail what I have had done.

And so what if it does take some people longer? And who made them the one to decide what is normal? I've started responding with "making progress," which is true, even if they catch me on a two-steps-backward day. I'll bet if I said, "Well, my pelvic floor and vagina feel like your cheek would if you pressed your tongue into it really hard for a long time" they would quit asking.

One of my "friends" at school today finally said, "I'm so glad you are back." I smiled. She added, "I've been needing your lesson plans (to borrow)." Ouch.

Also remember that the vaginal area is moist, and a moist environment takes much longer to heal than a dry area.

The body is working very hard to keep the bacteria out of our tissues, all the while, it is doing its job to keep things moist as they should be. It's almost counter-productive, which slows the healing process dramatically.

Daisy chick,

I don't think there has been one instance since my surgery that I have told someone that I feel great. Honestly. If I feel bad, I tell them, "I have my good days and my bad days." If I feel good, I tell them, "I have my good days and my bad days." It's almost like I don't want to jinx myself BECAUSE I am having a good day, but I also don't want to tell people that I feel great when really, I don't.

I haven't.

I won't for a while.

The good news is, the doctor said that by week eight, we should be feeling a tremendous amount of good and only a little bit of bad. This is promising.

With most people who ask for more details on my progress, I tell them, "Well, it's a long road. I'm trying to stay optimistic." By giving them my expectations (being optimistic), I find that this helps them to better respond to me with whatever they choose to say next.

The only reason that we are ever disappointed is because we have expectations. If we expect nothing, we can't be disappointed.

Thanks ladies, as usual I fell better after listening to all of you!

Hey all,
I'm really sorry to hear about you ladies having bleeding issues still, I really can imagine how frustrating that must be, it's the last thing you'd expect to have after all this. I'm sure that in time it will stop, we are all different and I think worrying about it will be counter productive (I know not worrying is easier said than done). If you CAN put your feet up, rest, rest and rest some more, then do just that. If doing NOTHING for a week solid means no more bleeding it has to be worth it. I'm sending healing hugs to you x

As for me, I had my post op check up today. I'm relieved to say that I got the all clear, no malignancy, but the appointment itself was a big disappointment. I waited 10 minutes to be seen and was with the doctor for about 3 minutes! The doctor asked if I had any concerns and I showed him the over granulation on my scar (which is now almost completely healed), he said it looked fine and not to worry. He told me there was no cancer in what was removed. He asked about bleeding. Then he said if I didn't have any questions he was happy to discharge me and waited for me to leave! I asked about resuming normal activities, driving and sex as he was ushering me out of the door! I'm not exaggerating!
He didn't feel my tummy, he didn't check my internal stitches, he didn't ask how I'm feeling, he didn't ask if I'd started HRT, he didn't ask me to get bloods done to make sure my iron levels were getting back to normal. He wanted me in and out of his office as quickly as possible. Now I'm finished, completely discharged.
Needless to say I'm feeling a bit abandoned and deflated. I spoke to my Mum and she said I should feel great that they don't feel the need to see me again, but it doesn't feel like that's why I've been discharged, it feels like I'm just an inconvience and they want me off their long list of patients.

Anyway, I'll stop moaning now, I probably sound really ungrateful and I'm sorry to go on.

Hugs to all x

I use the exact same terminology as the.super.wife. "I have good days and bad days." I think that explains it all. The problem is when you tell people you're feeling good (when they catch you on a good day) then the expectation is you are recovered. I also tell people, 'recovery is just a long process with this type of surgery.' I think keeping people's expectations low is a good thing under the circumstances. Because the truth is none of us will be back to 100% for quite a while and there will be good days and bad days until then.

Debbie, to add to what you said, if people ask me about the recovery time frame, I tell them one full year. They look surprised, but it's the truth. At eight weeks, our bodies will --best case scenario--be recovered 80%. We will have another 10 months to recover the rest of the 20% that is left.

And fairy, I don't blame you for the disappointment at your visit. One thing that is essential in all medical cases is a doctor who will not rush, who will value his patient enough to sit down and talk things out. Especially after a major surgery. Is your doctor not your surgeon as well? Because mine is, and I think that is the difference in the after-care. My doctor is my surgeon who had her hands in me and knows exactly what was done and what my situation was. Not to discount all doctors, but the majority of them that I have seen are hurried and over-booked. Most of them disregard any of my concerns and send me packing.

Fairy_Whispers - I definitely would have been upset about that. One of the things I look for in a doctor is the willingness to spend time with their patients. A good doctor will also ask a lot of questions of their patients. The downside is these types of doctors tend to run behind schedule but I'm okay with that as long as I get my turn.

If you have unanswered questions (esp. if this is your regular GYN) I would make another appointment and bring a list and just tell him you had additional questions. Another alternative is to call back and speak to his nurse. They are use to passing questions between patient and doctor. I do this all the time.

I thought an internal exam was usually done at this point. I'm not seeing my doctor until 8 weeks (she's been out having her own surgery) but I guess I just expected that is what they all do before signing off on the case.

It wasn't the surgeon who operated on me that I saw today, it was one of his team. He wasn't involved in the surgery at all and he had to read from my notes. It SHOULD be the person who operated who sees you after, they're the only one who knows what they saw surely?
As far as I'm aware I have no gynae care at all now, just back to my normal GP. So I will go back to my GP and tell her I'm not happy and ask her to go through my notes with me.
Thank god for you ladies, I have a better idea of what's going on from talking to you than from talking to my doctors.
Take care and thanks for listening x