Surgery at 40

I have always dealt with heavy periods since the birth of my three children, who are now ages 22,17, and 16. During the summer of 2011, these periods became worse, causing me to miss work or other functions. I spoke to my gynecologist about the problem and she suggested an internal ultrasound to see what was going on. I agreed to schedule it at her other office..and then well …life got in the way. Work got crazy, two dear relatives from out of state passed away , and I never went to the appointment. B y November of 2011, I was bleeding non-stop. I would have episodes of “flooding” forcing me to leave work early, and one time a move theater. I was unable to work out, or be gone from the house for very long. The pain continued to get worse, and I blamed the stress of my busy life. By the first of the year, I was miserable, tired, and cranky! I went back to the doctor and again they ordered the internal ultra sound. So two weeks later, I showed up for the procedure. A nurse was there to complete the ultrasound. I told her that I was bleeding, but I don’t think she was prepared for how bad it was. It was an absolute mess. I was so embarrassed! Anyway, I went back to the Dr for the results a week later and she said I had a thick uterine lining but that is all they could see because the bleeding interfered with the picture quality. She gave me information on ablation, hysterectomy, and hormone therapy. I was also put on birth control pills and a follow up appointment was made. An appointment for a biopsy was also scheduled and the results came back negative. I spent the next week throwing up from the BC pills. It was awful..and the bleeding didn’t even slow down. Next we tried progesterone, did nothing. Then she increased my dose..slowed down a little but not much. It had now been 4 months of straight bleeding , and by February I was miserable. The pain was getting worse. Intense pressure and cramping. I felt like I was in labor for a good part of each day. I was passing huge blood clots and even taking a shower became a nightmare because of the uncontrolled bleeding. Of course my iron began to go down, and fatigue set in. At my next appointment we again discussed my choices. I just did not want to have an ablation. By now, I had found the hyster sisters website and was getting all the info I could. The Dr suspected adenomyosis, and the ablation would not cure that anyway. I did not feel right about ablation. Im sure it is the right choice for some, but not me. Since ablation doesn’t save your fertility anyway, I decided on a hysterectomy. Because I have had issues with pre cancer cells in my cervix in the past, it was decided to do a vaginal hysterectomy and remove the cervix as well. There was a small chance it would end up being abdominal, if they couldn’t get it out vaginally, so I was prepared for that as well. In the meantime she tried me on some new drugs to stop the bleeding..they didn’t work either. I spent the next several weeks getting ready for surgery. I made some meals to freeze ..cleaned..and took care of my work responsibilities. Almost every day I would re-think my decision. My poor husband had to listen to it every day! Am I sure this is right? How bad will the pain be? Will I get depressed? Am I doing the right thing? I was also struggling because I am only 40 years old and my husband and I do not have children together. My three are from a previous marriage. We have been married for almost 11 years and in the back of my mind I always thought we might have a child someday. Saying goodbye to that dream was and still is hard. It just never worked out for us.
Fast forward to the morning of the surgery…March 13th. Had to be there at 5:45 am for a 7:20 operation. I was so scared! We get to check in and the lady was trying to be funny which I did not appreciate! I was sort of in a mood. She tells my husband to stay at registration and I need to go upstairs to pre-op. She promises he will be up shortly. I go upstairs and there are female nurses everywhere some with patients in an open room. There is one male nurse on the floor and he comes up to me and says..”You must be Kellie..I am your nurse” I was like..”Of course you are”. I was not thrilled. Then he tells me I have to take a pregnancy test. Really? He also wants the date of my last period. Im trying to explain to him that it started Nov and has never stopped, but he walked away while I was trying to tell him. I take the pregnancy test and then Im led to a bed and given a gown and told to undress. I have to remind him that I am still bleeding..so what should I do? He comes back with some type of mesh undies and a pad. Lovely .I get undressed and get into bed. By now I am so nervous that I am shaking uncontrollably. The nurse is trying to get an IV in but my veins are hiding. After a few tries..he gives up. I think he had enough of me anyway! I am ashamed to admit it, but I wasn’t very nice to him. A new nurse comes in and she plugs in this hot air machine that hooks into my gown warming me up so they could get a vein! She covered me with warm blankets and promised my husband would be in soon. She got the IV in and then hubby was allowed back to say goodbye. My parent also stopped in but they had to leave because too many people were in the room. They gave me something to relax me and wheeled me to the operating room. They said they couldn’t put me to sleep until the Dr walked in so I just laid there and a nurse held my hand. I remember seeing my Dr’s eyes..she had a mask on and then..out
I woke up in recovery with…you guessed it..another male nurse! He showed me how to work the morphine pump when I awoke in pain. He told me to hit the button whenever I hurt. I remember being embarrassed because he had to keep checking me to see how badly I was bleeding. Finally its time to go to my room. They told me to hit the pump a few times for the ride. Hubby and parents were waiting in my room. I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I realized that the surgery was not abdominal and that a catheter was put in while I was asleep. I was also shaved while asleep but didn’t discover that till later. I had on the special boots that massage your legs..they were quite nice. SO between the IV the boots , the catheter and the morphine…I pretty much just laid there while hubby watched TV next to me. That’s how I spent the rest of the day and the entire night. Uneventful night except I kept dropping my pump and hubby would need to get up and find it for me! I only threw up one time. He stayed all night on a cot next to my bed. The next morning I had a few bites of breakfast and asked when I could walk. They unhooked my boots and said I could walk and I said what about the catheter? She said well either you can take it with you or wait till Dr says it comes out. Grr. Ill wait. Finally I am free of all tubes and hubby walks with me around the floor. Pain is not as bad as I expected it would be and walking is easier than I thought it would be. I am ready to go home..but first I have to pee and eat lunch. I do both but then discharge takes forever and they lose my prescription..so we get home at 7 PM. I take pain meds and go to sleep!
Today I am 2 and half weeks post op. I feel pretty good physically although I am still depressed and a little freaked out about the whole vaginal cuff thing. I still read a lot of posts at hyster sisters and it does help to know other women feel the same way. I take no pain medication and I am scheduled to go back to work part time in a few days. (office job) I get little twinges from time to time and I still tire easily. My next milestone will be resuming a normal sex life. We haven’t had that in so long because of the heavy bleeding for 4 months prior to surgery. The surgery is such a big deal and it consumes so much of your life that its strange when its over. Getting back to normal will still be hard. I have sad days and can’t think about babies or pregnant women right now. I try to think of the good things. Like not having to change the bed sheets 3 times a week or not being afraid to stand up in church. I also have an easier time peeing, as I don’t have the urgency I had before. (heavy uterus pushing on bladder) I am hoping and praying that I will come to accept the new me and be as healthy and happy as I can be. My advice to others..research and pray about what is right for you..expect to be sad for awhile..acknowledge your sadness…read other encouraging stories! Be blessed!