I'm childless - and people keep comparing my hyserectomy to their C sections!

To be honest now that I see the fact is the c-section is worth having no unless there a sitauation where there no choice because of the baby. Which I didn't have and I wanted my first child to survive. Then come find out I'm was dealing with these fibroids that cause me so much pain. It really took life engery away from me. For about 5 years of my life. Now I had the TVH and I thought I be heal now which I'm still feeling really bad at times.

I am sorry you are going through this. I have never personally had a c-section before so all of this pain in new to me. But my aunt had 3 c-sections and she also had a TAH 2 years ago and in sharing stories with her she has told me that in her experience with both the recovery is very different and the hysterectomy takes the cake for pain.
Keep your head up and you are in my prayers

Thanks for your responds

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Originally Posted by janivemerritt To be honest now that I see the fact is the c-section is worth having no unless there a sitauation where there no choice because of the baby. Which I didn't have and I wanted my first child to survive. Then come find out I'm was dealing with these fibroids that cause me so much pain. It really took life engery away from me. For about 5 years of my life. Now I had the TVH and I thought I be heal now which I'm still feeling really bad at times.

Yeah, my first C section was an emergency for the baby, snd for bleeding for me.
Second was, tried VBAC. Got to pushing and baby got stuck, so had C section to pull him out the other way.
Third, doctor was willing to try for VBAC if baby was thought to be 7 lb or less. Nope! Another big baby, so she was a c- section with a date, wasn' t supposed to go through labor, but I went into labor the morning I was going to the hospital.
4 th baby ( suprise! You can still get preggers on the pill even if you take it at the same time everyday), C- section, no option given, and good thing cuz he was 9'7!!!
I had my tubes tied during that one, because I never wanted surgery again..
Now here I am 12 years later recovering from a hysterectomy. I would have a kid by c- section again anyday over this!

Yes I have. Never had a child ended up with th uterus and all. It's painful

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Originally Posted by MissE_UK I am worried that I'll cry at work..

I was absolutely terrified that i'd cry at work as I work at an elementary school at am around kids, parents, and teachers all day long. I was amazed that my first day back was one of my best days at work EVER!! I LOVED seeing the kids and they were so excited to see me. My attitude was just different. I have literally learned not to sweat the small stuff anymore and to TOTALLY appreciate what life has to offer.

I was exhausted after about 3 hours and ended up working half days for the first week, but that wasn't due to will it was due to healing...

I'm routing for you!!!! Hang in there, put a smile on your face, and if you do cry...just go with it...it's okay to show emotions and your coworkers will respect you more because you are real!!! And if they don't, they are not worth worrying about!!! Join us on hystersisters and we'll make you feel better!!!

HUGS!!!

Thanks again Meka,

I seem to be having a new wave of grief in general, regardless of whether people say insensitive things or not. My policy on emotions is to always accept them and never fight them (I learned this the hard way after several bouts of depression etc) - it works for me but I have to say that I do find it hard at work when I'm supposed to be "professional".

However, I am sure I will get through and I love your story of it not just being bearable but actually a great day! That has given me hope. i guess when i'm back I'll remember why i enjoy my job and be pleased to see the colleagues I get on well with.

Not sweating the small stuff - you're so right. It's an American phrase I will be adopting! I have definitely used some of my recovery time to re assess and take a different approach to life. I think if we didn't get something truly positive out of this whole experience it would actually be a wasted opportunity.

This site and all the wonderful sisters on it are so good at helping us be nicer to ourselves and find our own solutions. I don't know what I'd have done over the last 3 months without it.

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Originally Posted by MissE_UK She has been sympathetic - as she, like me, has fibroids - but she has a baby and I have had a hysterectomy. Perhaps just saying "it's not exactly the same is it?"

You said it sister!!! Clear, to the point, honest...honest is best right now because you need what you need and it needs to be about you...pretty soon you'll be back to taking care of everyone else--or maybe??? :-)--but for now you need to recover!

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Originally Posted by MissE_UK This site and all the wonderful sisters on it are so good at helping us be nicer to ourselves and find our own solutions. I don't know what I'd have done over the last 3 months without it.

I love hystersisters too!!! HUGS!

I am appalled at the insensitivity of others. Fortunately I have a loving community of friends and family around me who love me enough to know that having my open TAH/BSO was necessary for my health because they saw me so sick beforehand. Additionally, I have been very vocal about my needs. For example, my SIL lives with my MIL in order to provide 24-hr care for her. Well SIL was going away last weekend and my MIL's brother wanted to come to visit. Although we have an aide come to care for my MIL the timing would not have worked out for the visit from my MIL's brother and when my SIL asked me to come care for my MIL, I insisted the family reschedule the visit for either when I am recovered or when my SIL is there because my MIL is obese, wheelchair bound and incontinent and I knew that it wasn't safe for me if she fell or needed changing etc (i mean if I can't push a vacuum I probably shouldn't be helping a 200# person transfer from wheelchair or risk myself being hurt if she fell). It took some convincing but eventually everyone gladly agreed it was best to reschedule.

One more thing.....the hospital stay was wonderful and I had great care BUT the floor I was on used to be the maternity unit. Due to recent renovations the labor and delivery unit was down the hall from me and the new maternity unit was just through the opposite door outside my room. Everytime a baby was born a Lullaby was played (I could manage that and be happy for the new parents) but then two minutes after EVERY BIRTH (and there were many) I would hear a woosh down the hall and the door outside my room would open as the new fathers would be escorted into the maternity unit with their newborn's in incubators walking just past my room. I could hear congratulations from other patient's as the entourage proceeded down the hall. The ironic part of it is that 9 months ago I was undergoing the start of IVF treatments. Having the hysterectomy was necessitated by severe bleeding and fibriods and severe menstrual migraine with 9 days of BP around 200/107 every month. In preparation for my surgery, I had to mourn that I would never have a baby. You see and I am sure you all know, that as little girls we are trained to be mothers - - we are given a baby doll to care for as soon as our little arms can hold the doll. I had to mourn that I would not be fulfilling my society's and my own trained expection of having a baby. My arms will never hold my own baby and the realization in the hospital that my husband would never walk down the hall getting congratulations while escorting our baby to the maternity ward was a hard pill to swallow. But, my life was truly at risk without the surgery and was therefore necessary. I don't mince my words when dealing with others about my infertility and the loss that my hyster represents.

8 years ago I had gastric bypass in order to lose over 100 pounds so I could increase my chances of reversing PCOS and conceiving. My hardest slap in the face was from my aunt (who I told about my surgery after fact) when she whined "why did you do that (have surgery)....you always had such a pretty face". I felt even more condemned as an obese woman.

I won't let anyone else make me feel that way ever again.