rough day...need some hugs

Hi ladies,

So I've been doing really well lately and thought that today would come and go and I wouldn't be phased at all by it. I guess I was wrong, or maybe because I've been thinking about it, I made it worse, I'm having a really emotional morning.

This is the first Mother's Day that I know there's no chance that I could ever just maybe get pregnant. My hubby and I dealt with infertility issues for 10 years, so the disappointment of not being able to have my own children is something that I understand more than I want to, but I always had that little bit of hope in the back of my mind that maybe....just maybe...a miracle would happen and this would be the month or year.

Well that hope is gone now and today, being Mother's Day, really solidified that for me.

I'm having a really rough day and would appreciate any hugs that you would like to send my way. In return I am sending all of you ladies who are dealing with this too a zillion

Meka, sending LOTS of hugs your way - I've been thinking the same thing all morning, this is definitely not my favorite holiday. I was shopping yesterday and at all the checkout points, it seemed as if someone was wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day" aaargh. Even my neighbor this morning who knows darn well that I don't have children wished me Happy Mother's Day - ?????!!!! Anyway, you are not alone in this - I don't regret having my hysterectomy as there are so many things I don't miss (the periods, the biopsies, the paps, the ultrasounds for years, etc) but it does feel very final in some ways, notably regarding children. Take good care -

(hugs) to those of you going through this Mother's Day without children. Although I like to remind myself that Mothers Day is about celebrating my mother, not having someone celebrate me, I also face the reality that my mother has not always been one who deserves celebrating. Kind of a double-whammy! I want to just hide in a hole for the entire month of May, and reemerge when the signs have been put away,.the clearance is sold out and my Hysterversary has passed on May 23.
I wish I had the magic answer to how to get through this....i would gladly share it with you all! Meanwhile, I am just grateful for the hyster sisters site and all of you!

Hugs & positive energy your way Meka! You are not alone. You are in very good company here!! I have found that mourning/grieving is part of the healing process after a hysterectomy. I wish you healing!!! Hugs!!!!! Ignore what the calendar tells us what we should do. You should pick a day on the calendar and celebrate yourself!!

Thanks ladies!!! I took my dog for a long walk and have given myself the day to grieve and I feel much better than I did this morning. My hubby surprised me with some flowers and combined with your hugs it has turned my day around.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Meka40 My hubby and I dealt with infertility issues for 10 years, so the disappointment of not being able to have my own children is something that I understand more than I want to, but I always had that little bit of hope in the back of my mind that maybe....just maybe...a miracle would happen and this would be the month or year.

Meka, me too and I'm 50 -- hope springs eternal. I have always hoped somehow a miracle would happen. Now there is no way. I notice am more sensitive to being judged and a lot of people do when you don't have kids. Today I woke up surrounded by my 'fur babies', the cats and the dog, and my husband and was thankful -- and sad too.

I visited my mom today - my first big trip out of the house this week. She was surrounded by her four kids, she's in a convalescent center recovering from a bad fall. She's in a very good place but we still have to advocate for her -- her hair needs to be washed, needs a manicure & pedicure for too long nails. That kind of thing that your kids will watch out for, just like you did for them.

I have a very good life, but there is no replacing not having children if you wanted them and it has to be grieved.

I am not generally afraid of feelings because they come in, and then they go away if I just let it be. This too shall pass. And I am a believer in destiny. To me, God has opened up my heart and energy to do things. I am proud of what I've contributed while I'm here. I don't get to see the big picture, but I trust my place in it is right and I'm loved and OK.

I may not have been in your situation but I have no children and so much looking forward to my TAH this coming Friday. I feel that a uterus is not what makes you a Mother on this Earth. There are several options I am considering including adoption or surrogacy. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself so that YOU can live your life at the fullest. I am very sorry to hear how you're feeling but rest assured that you have done something so healthy for YOU and that life is full of great things and you have a lot of those great things ahead.

You are all so wonderful!! Thank you for the support today...I am thinking of you all and sending many your way!!!

hyster01...I too can't wait for May to pass!!! Hang in there...June will be here before you know it!

Hi. I'm sorry you had a rough mothers day...but if you think about it, this happens on a lot of holidays to others as well such as the person who lost their spouse and valentines day comes... I think every holiday will do it.... I know its very difficult, but look now... You made it! And your healthier hugs !