I want to scream!!!!

21 months post hysterectomy with massive surgical infection. Still have no feeling in my lower abdomen, upper thighs, private parts. It's been over a year since my husband has been intimate with me at all. The look of disgust he wasn't able to hide in time when he looked at the physical damage caused by the infection was a sword in my heart. I cried myself to sleep last night, he didn't know. I pass off my tears and swollen eyes as other issues (took a shower, got soap in my eyes). He has no idea how ashamed I am of what I now look like. I was no great beauty before, but now I'm a monster. It doesn't even help to have the light off because the horrible scarring and disfigurement is always present. I wish they hadn't caught the infection in time. I wish my wonderful husband had someone more worthy of him.

Honey so sorry for what ur going thru! but ur husband nor marry u for sex. He married u cuz u are a wonderful person he not need a better woman he has u the best womam for him. Hopefully he meant it when he said in sickness and health. Better or worse. Mayb counselling can help the both of u to deal with the new set of circumstances. Hugs!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this! Please don't think of yourself as a monster. Like robbielyn said maybe counseling would help you both deal with this. You have been through enough without this added stress! Sending hugs your way!!!

I did go to a counselor. HE said "you'll get over it." I now part of what I'm going thru is uncontrolled hormones going crazy. Sometimes it just seems like I've fallen into a dark place and there is no hope of ever getting out.