Trying to deal (children mentioned)

It has been five months since my hysterectomy and I am still trying to deal with the fact that I had it done! I am 24 years old and two years ago my doctor informed me that I was not allowed to have anymore children (I had just had my second child) after struggling to have the two that I already have! When I had my first child <> I almost lost him several times durring the pregnancy, after having him I found out that I had endometriosis, and that my second one would be harder to have given the fact that I also had a lazy ovary! When we finally got pregnant with <> I had to have an emergency c-section with her, which caused my endimitriosos to spread, and make my time of the month worse! After her is when my doctor informed me that I was not to have anymore children because of the problems that had accrued after her. So I went through blood work and every birth control on the market to try and ease the problems from my endimitriosos. Unfortunatelly nothing work and we came to the option of a hysterectomy. It was all that was left! I chose to go ahead with the surgery because 1 I wasn't allowed to have anymore children because the risk was too high for me and 2 I was in so much pain that it was hard to take care of my children. I thought that I would be ok and hey I should be great full to have the two children that I do have. However I have come to realize that this is harder to deal with then I thought. I feel like I have been robbed, I find myself crying because everybody around me can have children, and I feel broken. I am trying to take it one day at a time but some days are harder than others. My doctor is talking about putting me on hormones to try and since I have only one ovary that works. With all of this I am hoping that someone else out there went through this young and has some good copping methods or something!?!?!

SEYEULB,

I can certainly relate. You're much younger than me (I'm 36), and I have two children as well. Both came with complications. My husband and I actually decided about 5 years ago that we wouldn't have anymore children. Everytime I think I'm over it, I see a baby and start to have those thoughts...

The TAH was very emotional for me as well. Though the decision had been made, this sort of "seals the deal." I think about it every now and then, but really try to be thankful for the two that I have.

I believe your feelings are normal. I'd suggest talking with your doctor openly about your feelings. He may be able to recommend counseling or discussion groups that can help you to express your emotions. At your young age, I can certainly understand the impact it may have.

Know that you'll also get lots of support here! These ladies are great, so take advantage of it

I was just sitting here, crying, feeling all alone & then I come to these discussions....I have to say, it makes me feel better to truly know I'm not alone, however so sad for any of us that have to face this. I will be 33 in October - tomorrow I go back to the dr to schedule my hysterectomy as I have a lot of bad mentruals, also had a laproscopy/hysteroscopy back in Feb & a lot of things were found. I waited to make this final decision but it has come - I know i can't continue doing what I am when my monthlys come around, as well as having family history or ovarian cancer. I have literally sat here & cried all day long knowing that tomorrow is the day I will schedule the surgery to remove my "womanhood" & like you all, I have a son that I thank god for everyday as I lost my 1st child at 3 mo's. My husband had a vasactamy so knowing we couldn't have anymore children on his end, I thought this would make it much easier...it doesn't at all!!! I'm so sorry for all the women out there that have to feel these feelings & go thru all of these emotions. This is one of the hardest decisions in my life, but I am looking forward to hopefully feeling a lot better once it's all over & done. It's nice to have this site to see you're not alone in this "journey". Thanks ladies for giving me an open ear to just drop all this at!

I think what you're feeling is normal. I'm in my 30's with 5 children. And my husband had a vasectomy over 5 yrs ago. But none of that changes how I feel about tbe loss of MY fertility. I've tried every which way to rationalize why it shouldn't matter but it does. It's okay to need to grieve that loss and to take time in coming to terms with it.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Seyeulb It has been five months since my hysterectomy and I am still trying to deal with the fact that I had it done! I am 24 years old and two years ago my doctor informed me that I was not allowed to have anymore children (I had just had my second child) after struggling to have the two that I already have! When I had my first child <> I almost lost him several times durring the pregnancy, after having him I found out that I had endometriosis, and that my second one would be harder to have given the fact that I also had a lazy ovary! When we finally got pregnant with <> I had to have an emergency c-section with her, which caused my endimitriosos to spread, and make my time of the month worse! After her is when my doctor informed me that I was not to have anymore children because of the problems that had accrued after her. So I went through blood work and every birth control on the market to try and ease the problems from my endimitriosos. Unfortunatelly nothing work and we came to the option of a hysterectomy. It was all that was left! I chose to go ahead with the surgery because 1 I wasn't allowed to have anymore children because the risk was too high for me and 2 I was in so much pain that it was hard to take care of my children. I thought that I would be ok and hey I should be great full to have the two children that I do have. However I have come to realize that this is harder to deal with then I thought. I feel like I have been robbed, I find myself crying because everybody around me can have children, and I feel broken. I am trying to take it one day at a time but some days are harder than others. My doctor is talking about putting me on hormones to try and since I have only one ovary that works. With all of this I am hoping that someone else out there went through this young and has some good copping methods or something!?!?!

Hello,
I have had a different experience to you but what we have in common is lots of hard feelings that are really big. I've had a really good result from having EMDR therapy, and I can also recommend eft/ tapping. These are very gentle therapies that processes emotions that are stuck looping around our head. They certainly made a massive difference in me and my family.
There's lots of info about EMDR if you
Google it, and etf also has lots of stuff on You Tube.
I understand how you feel, I'm sorry you can't have any more babies and are feeling really sad. It is sad. It's normal
and healthy to grieve, it's also good to have information about where healthy grief is overtaken and the need for help/ professional help begins. You're doing really well, just being on here and talking about your feelings is fantastic. I hope you get some excellent support and move really well through this sad and hard time.
Big hug xxxxx
Jane

I also had a different experience that has lead me here. I have 2 children of my own, 3 stepchildren, and even a grandchild by my oldest stepdaughter. I am only 28 and it's hard. I did not think I would feel sad it's been 4 months since my surgery and I thought I was okay, but recently have been feeling broken, lost, and very sad. I'm not sure all of it is because I can't have anymore children, but i know that it's part of it. My husband is very supportive, but he just doesn't get it. I'm so sorry for everyone else who is feeling this way, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you!