2 years post op and no sex

I sit here this morning trying to figure out how to get control of my life back. EVERYTHING has changed since my total hysterectomy, I only have my vagina left. I am 52 years old and have always had a very strong libido and my husband and I (of 30 years) have always enjoyed a strong sex life. We have had NONE since my surgery. I cannot take HRT due to a post surgical blood clot in my lung. I feel like my marriage is falling apart and I feel so empty inside. Is there any hope out there for a change ora fix?

Oh Dorisey, I am so sorry. I understand...really I do. Everything changed for me too. When I read about how some of the women here are "back to normal' it makes me wonder ..........even with full healing I cannot imagine I will ever be "back' to what I once was. Which was a wife of 18+ years who enjoyed sex with my husband VERY MUCH! Now I am 6 months post op. My nerves were damaged and my ovaries which I kept are not working. So I am having the dryness and thinning of the membranes which makes sex difficult or often impossible. Plus libido is horribly lacking and every time we tried I would bleed. I cannot take HRT either. I have lupus....however, I have found that I can use a progesterone cream..which I use applied directly in the vagina. I also started taking vitamin E and D3 in larger quantities and have found some relief from the dryness and the thinning...am able to tolerate sex with proper lubrication. Although it is not what it was...it is getting better a tiny bit at a time with continued use of the progesterone and vitamins I hope to improve more.
Perhaps some of this could help you.
Hang in there...and let yourself greive the loss of those things...I did a couple months ago..just had to break down and cry with my best friend and share how much I missed what my husband and I used to have. I still have moments of real sadness about it...and we sometimes have tension between us...but talking openly about my body and how it is functioning or not functioning helps...and I can do a lot of things to bring him pleasure without actual intercoarse when that is too difficult. I know it is hard...hang in there!
Here is you need to talk to somone.

I'm in the same boat. It will be two years for me in September. I have no libido whatsoever. It is so painful for me to have "SEX". I don't even want to do it because it hurts so much. I just don't have the drive like I used before I had my surgery. I had everything completely removed because of a precancerous finding in my uterus.

I just don't know what to do either. My GYN oncologist said that everything will be the same. Well, it's NOT!!! I'm also gaining weight like crazy. I'm only 44 years old and I feel like my life has been cut short. Now I'm suffering from menopausal symptoms too.

HELP!!!!

its been over 4 yrs for me. I had desire on/off up until I had to have another surgery 3/2011 for bladder prolapse due to gyne- mesh erosion along with another rectocele repair. I swear this doctor cut into my perineum SO deep!! my recovery was far worse/painful than the original hysterectomy. When I told him about the lack o libido several months post-op, he changed me from vivelle dot to estro-testosterone (synthetic) pills which did nothing more than give me a few extra chin hairs. As of a week ago I am back on my 0.75 vivelle and don't care if i ever have sex for the remainder of my life.

Hi there ladies I was searching for some support or at least reassurance that I am not alone. I am 16 months post op. full hysterectomy no ovaries no cervix. No or ver low libido. When DH and I have sex which is rare it is painful and I get that burning sensation. We discussed today going back to using condoms again to see if the extra lubrication would help. Inam looking to find a women's health clinic as my GP and Gyno are both men and I don't think they get it. dH is great but I miss the intimacy.

So I am keen to keep talking to ladies in similar situations and to support and sympathies.

I was beginning to think there is something wrong with me. I have no sex drive at all and I even get angry that my husband keeps bringing it up. It's uncomfortable, very little lubrication and afterwards I hurt and burn almost like I'm getting a yeast infection. Even when I want to it takes so long for me to get started that he is finished already. What can I do? I haven't tried that zantra (??) lubrication yet but I plan to but even then what can I do to get my sex drive back? I'm too tired to exercise so my body is going down hill which doesn't help even though my wonderful husband still finds me extremely sexy and tells me. It's getting depressing. Any suggestions out there?

Gals,
Perhaps a little play time before your partner actually enters the room could help. After all, you sort of have a new body ...and you might need time to get to know the new you...and reving the engine before the starters pistol goes off could help things along.
Just a thought.

Everyone, I really do feel like I have sisters now as I read through this thread. I thought something was seriously wrong with me because of the extreme pain during sex, complete lack of libido, and only having sex during this year (my full abdominal surgery was on aug 2nd 2011) less than 5 times. What I am trying to understand though is WHY this is happening to us... what does having a hysterectomy have to do with ones vagina getting so closed up so much so that it is incredibly painful? As well, I haven't read where anyone's reply is saying 'this is how you solve that problem' or sharing a Drs. 'prescription' to "cure" us of this. Is there someone out there who knows?!?! Help!

Hello ladies! I too understand what you are all saying. I had my "radical" hysterectomy 4 years ago due to ovarian and uterine cancers. My family has a genetic mutation known as Lynch Syndrome II, which is linked to ALL of the cancers we have had (5 out of 7 family members). The most prevalent has been colon cancer (3 out of 5) followed by prostate cancer (2), cervical (1), ovarian and uterine (me). Like all of you, I too didn't expect the HUGE changes that the surgery would have. I'm only 57 and wish that I could have HRT but I can't take Estrogen or Progesterone because of the type of cancer I had. My GYN Oncologist could offer me nothing to help ease the symptoms. After 4 years some of them are much better, like the hot flashes, but the loss of a sex drive, constant fatigue, troubles with short-term memory and concentration, and a general lack of interest in most life activities has been hard to deal with. I can't even have soy products due to the phytoestrogens in them. So I'm now looking into testosterone therapy as an option. That seems to be all that's left to me.

I can identify with all of you as it's been almost a year since my surgery and my sex drive is so low - definitley not the same as it was prior to surgery. I don't have the pain as I'm on primarin cream. Hubby is understanding but I wish my sex drive was better. I really do feel for sex every 2 -3 weeks. I tell myself though that I will not be worrying about it and I don't want to go on any further HRT - I have lumps in my breast and I fear the side effects. Anyone with any suggestion for us?