advice on making the hysterectomy choice

Hi Ladies

I am not sure if I am in the right section but I have been directed to this site for a supportive network

I am an almost 30yr old with 2 kids who is considering the appointment to see my dr about getting a hysterectomy

after my daughter was born my periods were irratic and heavy, after 2 x pills, a d & C, mirena and now an ablation i am starting to spot irraticaly and it is just getting heavier again.

my OBGYN had said that the ablation may not work (often doesnt) and that i may need to consider the hysterectomy,

I had the ablation done in december last year and it was fantastic and then started to spot and continue, I have recorded it for the last 6 weeks and just continues.

Now I am wondering whether i should make that call or wait and see, I know there are a million women that are having way worse issues but it is really starting to affect me, I feel as though I never am without a pad on and it also affects our sex life as if I am spotting at all sex just makes me bleed like crazy.

Any words of encouragement or similar stories will be greatly appreciated

Thanks for reading

Since you are bleeding a lot, you should probably call your doctor and at least talk about your situation, discuss options (though there may be very few), and get your questions and concerns addressed. You don't have to schedule a hysterectomy right away (or at all), but if you go to your doctor with a set of questions to discuss, you can become more informed and prepared to make a more confident decision. My sister-in-law just had an ablation done a few weeks ago due to very heavy bleeding, now she is in the wait-and-see mode to see if it sticks and for how long or if she may have to eventually get a hysterectomy. Good luck, and at least talk some things over with your doctor, you don't have to make a quick decision unless things suddenly get far worse. You also don't have to wait for things to be absolutely horrific before deciding on a hysterectomy either. It's whatever you are comfortable with.

I agree with pinkcarnations. Make sure whatever decision you come to is yours and that you are comfortable with it. I know it is hard, but try not to compare your situation with anyone else's, there is no reason to add anymore stress on yourself than what you may already feel! All of us here get to this point for one reason or another and everyone gets there in their own time. For me, I never had anything else done to try and keep my uterus. I had fibroids causing heavy periods that were lasting longer and longer-fortunately I was not anemic. I told my dr I wanted a hysterctomy and wish I would have done it sooner. I wish you peace throughout your decision making process.

Thanks for the replies, the thought of the hysterectomy itself doesnt scare me to much, we are done having kids ( I had my tubes tied 2 yrs ago) it is more the after and the unknown with the affects on our sexlife etc that really concern me

I think it is a call i need to make soon because like I said before it is affecting me emotionally that it keeps happening more then the physical cramping etc.

Most of the women that have negative hysterectomy experiences had very mild or no symptoms before their hysters. Since you are done having kids, the cramping is getting to you, and you're already bleeding and spotting enough to harm your sex life, I think yyou will be pleased afterwards.

I had adenomyosis, and it was a huge relief to get rid of it. The constant dull ache made me feel like I was going to start every day. I had tampons stashed in my diaper bag, all of my purses, both bathrooms and a spare in the car. It was insane.

Abagayle are you kidding me? "Most of the women that have negative hysterectomy experiences had very mild or no symptoms before their hysters.". That's a very harsh observation of the women who have had complications leading to their negative hysterectomy experiences! It is my experience that a large percentage of the women on this site have had issues for years and enter into a hysterectomy very seriously with the hopes for an improved life afterwards, not because they have been inconvenienced and are looking for a quick resolution!
PinkandBlue82, I would suggest doing a ton of research. Choosing a hysterectomy can only be done once, there is no "undoing" it once done. It is suggested on this site to explore a second, even third opinion. To explore alternatives. A hysterectomy is a serious surgery and comes with risks (as all surgeries do).
I was one of the lucky ones, I had no complications. I am grateful for the outcome and for what I learned on this site that made me come to an educated decision to have a hysterectomy; as well as help me be at peace with my decision and accept the risks I might face. I only wish all the other Sisters could be so lucky!

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I had an ablation a year ago, and although the bleeding may have gotten a little bit lighter, it didn't work. I scheduled my hysterectomy and as it got closer I was starting to chicken out, but the bleeding was just getting worse. It had gotten so that I was bleeding every day except maybe 4 days out of the month. And like you, when I had sex I bled like crazy and sex was sometimes painful. So my husband and I felt I really had no choice but to go ahead and do it and I'm glad I finally did it and it's over with. I'm 4.5 weeks out from a TVH. I was like you, scared about what sex would be like afterwards too. But honestly, I was always self conscious about bleeding and it hurt, so I'm hopeing not having to worry about all of that will make sex more enjoyable for me. Good luck!

ShatziLKF, wow. I meant no offense at all. That same thing has been said on this forum many times that women who had no pain before the hysterectomy tend to feel more regrets, etc afterwards than those that had a lot of pain or profuse bleeding. Relief of bad symptoms tends to make up for any possible side effect related to the surgery.

I wasn't referring to serious complications, which are rare. I was referring to the original poster's concerns of sexual side effects and the standard pros and cons.

I wasn't at all implying those women didn't need their hysters, but some need them for cancer or large fibroids that aren't causing them andy symptoms. With the absence of bad bleeding or discomfort, sometimes they aren't happy with the results of their surgeries.

I feel I've been a helpful and encouraging member on this board and feel hurt by your harsh tone to my honest answer.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Abagayle ShatziLKF, wow. I meant no offense at all. That same thing has been said on this forum many times that women who had no pain before the hysterectomy tend to feel more regrets, etc afterwards than those that had a lot of pain or profuse bleeding. Relief of bad symptoms tends to make up for any possible side effect related to the surgery. I feel I've been a helpful and encouraging member on this board and feel hurt by your harsh tone to my honest answer.

Yah, I'm a little thrown off and confused by ShatziLKF's reaction, too. I understood what Abagayle was meaning when she said what she did.

Definitely talk over other possible options with your doctor. It may be there's something else you can try.

A hysterectomy is a big step, and certainly not something to take lightly. You have time to think about it and perhaps envision what your life will be like after recovery.

For me, the thought of symptoms until I reach hysterectomy was the main deciding factor. I simply can't deal with them for that long. In addition to the pain and bleeding, I don't think it's fair to either my husband or myself that our intimacy is a problem and we don't have sex often. While he's patient and caring, he deserves more, as do I.

Yes, some women have problems with sex after hysterectomy, but I don't think it's a high percentage. And, other factors play into what happens after hysterectomy, such as the condition that led to it in the first place.

I'm still pre-op (only a few days to go), but I think it will be worth it in the end.