17 weeks post-stitch repair for cystocele

Hello, sisters! Thought I would post another update, especially since there are a lot of new sisters here.

I was blessed with a straight-forward, easily repaired cystocele, no previous surgeries of any kind, etc, and my GYN who did the surgery was able to do a stitch repair.

I am back to working out, using the treadmill with a good incline percentage. I'm working up my nerve to go to the Body Pump class (use of bars and free weights set to music) once again, but plan on using free weights instead of the barbell (15 lbs) with added weights, as my lifelong restriction on lifting/pushing/pulling is 20 lbs. Energy is good, possibly better than before the surgery, don't get exhausted and fall asleep on the couch as much anymore!

Now for what you really want to hear about: my innards. First off, I do NOT go spelunking up in my va-jay-jay when something feels wonky and I do NOT look at my lady parts with a mirror. Did you ever do that before your surgery? Vaginas are wrinkly and muscular and odd feeling (and have way too many folds, both inside and outside) for me to figure out.

I did that once, maybe about two or three weeks after my surgery (when I was freaking out that something was wrong), and decided NEVER AGAIN. My vow to myself is if things feel too weird, or I'm really worried, I'll call my GYN and go see him. I did that with my two month post-surg check up. Things felt weird and I was convinced my stitches had popped. There was no way I could've waited one more week to see him, so I got in, and he did a thorough exam, checking for wound dishesence, hematomas between the two surgical sites, etc. Everything was a-okay, and he reminded me that I have two lines of stitches resting on top of each other, and that there will be swelling for at least 4-5 months after surgery, maybe even 6 months.

I still have weird pinching feelings in my vagina from time to time, on the side wall of the vagina. Sometimes the pinching feeling is on the labia, where the retractors were holding me open during surgery.

If I don't wake up in the night and have to pee a lot in the AM, afterwards it feels all stretched out and loose, even to the point of feeling like my stitches have popped and the bladder has dropped again. Same thing goes for holding on and not going pee during the day.

Having large BMs can a weird experience, even this long after surgery. Seems like large BMs get all my parts aggravated -- some nerve near the vagina gets irritated and results in the oddest feeling, almost like when you scrape your toes on the bottom of the swimming pool. It will also feel like the vagina and urethra are being pushed forward and out of their place, and sometimes feels like the bm is coming through the vagina! (it isn't -- no fistulas here.) I'm careful to get plenty of fiber, water, fruits, etc. Haven't had to use stool softener in 2-2.5 months. I did use Miralax about two weeks ago, as I had slacked off on my fluids for a couple days. After a BM, everything feels swollen, not painful, just swollen. Figures, though, because if you look at female anatomy, there's way too much stuff crammed into our pelvic cavities!

Haven't tried sex yet -- I had lost all interest in it before developing the cystocele, and my hubby has been kind of weirded out about trying to have sex even though I'm cleared to try. I'm afraid it will hurt, and be hard work, and I really just don't want to put in the effort.

That's about it for now. So if you're just a few days or a few weeks out of surgery, and you're up late at night alone, or maybe you're alone during the day, and you're freaking out (like I was one day), just take a deep breath. If you're hurting, or really panicked, call your doctor. It's their job to take calls, no matter if it's a weekday, weekend, day or night. Second, post here -- someone is bound to have had similar experiences. Third, search the forum with very specific keywords. The post that saved my sanity was three years old, but the sister had been experiencing exactly what I was that very day, almost to the letter! I was able to follow her posts and see that she was ok and that, yes, I would be too. Finally, if you are still getting upset, put down the laptop or step away from the computer. Too much info can be a bad thing, especially if it is upsetting you. Be kind to yourself, let your body heal, and be patient. I didn't have stitches on my outsides, so I was rushing myself to be all better at first, until my doctor told me how long it would take to be fully recovered. I hope you are feeling great today and every day.

You have hit so many good points and my sentiments to the tee. You replied to me a while back. I appreciated it. I am 8 weeks out and feel like things have failed on a daily basis, that is not the case. I have worked myself up into a tizzy every waking minute and have been dealing with all of this for 3 years, 4 surgeries. At times I also feel as though my bm is in my vagina. I have been checked over and over, and all is healing. Yikes, at 56, I never thought I would be such a sniveling mess. I am a strong woman with 5 great kids and a fantastic husband but all I obsess about is my vagina. I am now going to a therapist who deals in post traumatic stress for women who have gone through the horrors of pelvic surgery. I also have a fantastic pelvic floor pt who when is given the green light from my Dr. will start working internally for so much nerve pain that it is over the top. I hope to be better by the Holidays. My Dr. says be patient, time, time..thanks..........

YrLttleLady -- GLAD to hear that I'm not the only one who feels like MB is in vagina! Felt just like passing a clot when I still had periods (had an endometrial ablation in 2004, no periods since). SO WEIRD.

I never even thought about what held everything in place in the pelvis, even though I took anatomy and physiology in college. Figured there was so much stuff, didn't need anything else to hold things in place.

Glad you are going to a therapist for your issues. Again, I was fortunate, just the ablation in 2004 and then a simple cystocele to repair (surgery lasted 45 minutes).

And my apologies -- turns out I had posted two weeks ago! This summer just seems to be going by very slowly.

One thing I forgot: I do occasionally have very bad swelly belly so much so that I just put on a housecoat and sort of blob around the house. Ugh.

hang in there - wpnole

I know the exact feeling of the surgical repair not going in right direction. Thanks for explaining what I have been at a loss of words this whole time. At times, like today it feels like I have my cystocele back and am even more aware of the feeling. I have that stretched out feeling at times after urinating. Like the "holes" are all sagging open! Hate that feeling. Makes me obsess. My dr says at six weeks post op I still have a lot of healing. This cough I got has made things feel more swollen. Hopefully when the cough is over I will start to feel like I can walk around without thinking of my vagina. I had lots of scar tissue, what was to be a 1 1/2 hour surgery turned into almost four hours. I also had fulgeration procedure done on inside of bladder wall. That was just like having a bad uti healing. Cath came home with me, 5 days later removed, only to get home and go into urinary retintion. So back to dr to relieve very full bladder (so much pain) and back home with catheter. Removed four days later. Also very bad yeast infection in which was on diflucan for 15 days! Please tell me, am I needing more time for things to feel like the surgery worked?! Some days are much better than others. Any words are very much appreciated. Your experiences help me. Thanks for listening.

Yah!! What a great post. Thank you :-) I am 10 weeks out tomorrow from a hysterectomy and a bladder lift with mesh. I was just checked on Tuesday and everything looks like it is high up there. I still feel a lot of the sensations you are describing and it makes me so happy to know I am not alone or crazy. I am definitely swelling and it is worse if I don't pee often. Sitting is still hard because all of the blood seems to pool in those tissues and make me feel swollen and lumpy. Again my doctor is positive the repairs look great and I am thankful to know that other women are experiencing the same thing.

It seems like the final of evaluation should not be done for a year after surgery. I am Having significant intestine problems right now and started physical therapy for this. I've seen this therapist before for the pelvic floor so we will also work on that too!

Thanks again for posting and I will continue to update over time so women in the future will know how things turned out for me :-)