I was on it for 7 years and have been off for 3 years now. I am a bit older than you so that might make it a little easier. I weaned off very slowly for years and then just dropped the lowest dose patch. I sometimes have a flush but nothing big like I used to.
You might try vitamin E , vitamin B6, B12, Calcium, vitamin D, fish oil, primrose oil and a multivitamin. Black Cohosh may help some or the product Estroven just to help you sleep, relax or take the edge off.
I find caffeine, spicy foods, alcohol, sugar to be the worst thing for hot flashes. I stay away from these most of the time. I use decaf tea or coffee. Eat fruits, veggies, fish, chicken, turkey and all whole grain flour products,no junk food or fast food stuff, low fat foods. I find exercising helps a lot too, especially for sleep.
Good luck and hope you feel better.