Not fair - isn't surgery recovery enough?

I'm having a minor pity party here. Feel free to join in.

I'm in week 4 post op. Feeling okay, generally. Some pain, lots of fatigue. My post-op appt is this Friday and I'm planning to ask for at least another 2 weeks off.

What's getting me down is the rest of "life."

We have 3 cats and have been taking care of my MiL's cat while she's in a nursing home (past 3 years). We recently got a flea infestation - not sure how, since they're all indoor cats but, they're here.

Last Friday we took mom's cat to the vet b/c she seemed very flea-beaten. They kept her over the weekend, did tests and treatments, but she died this past Monday. I am hormonally/emotionally wrecked over this. I've been crying (sobbing) on and off for days.

We still have the fleas, although we're taking steps to get that under control. It's disgusting, and my legs are all flea bitten. I can't vacuum which is what really helps to get rid of them and I am alone in the house most of the time. Stuck with the fleas. EW!

And, we found out that mom's cat got a blood parasite from the fleas that has probably passed to our other 3 cats. They all need to be tested. Two of them are 15 y/o, and one is 12. I'm trying not to "borrow trouble" but I know we may end up losing the older two.

Hubby got a cold 2 weeks ago, so in addition to my surgical pain, I've been struggling with a head cold this week: sore throat and a cough. ouch.

So... my belly hurts, I'm coughing and crying and just basically a mess.

Please pray for my kitties.

(((Big Hugs)))

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitties. As a cat lover myself, I understand what you are going through. You & your kitties will be in my thoughts & prayers.

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitties. I pray that they will be fine and that they didn't contract the parasite. I lost my beloved Zephyr recently and know how difficult it is-I'm sorry you are going through all this while trying to recover form surgery. Please know that I am praying for you and kitties and I am sending healing, peaceful thoughts your way.

I am so very sorry you are having to deal with all this added on stress when you are trying to heal. Life can be so unfair at times. Dealing with fleas is bad enough and I hope they can get that under control for you soon. Hope thing get better for you

I'm so sorry. I will pray for you and your kitties. I know it's hard not to get ahead of things in your mind, but all you can do is take one step at a time and give them lots of pets. For fleas, we've found the carpet power that you can get at any store to work wonderfully. Your husband wold need to vaccume it, though.

Hugs I will be praying for your fast recovery and for your cats!! I hope everything goes great for you! Call over a friend or family member to help you vacuum and kill the fleas. You definitely don't need to hurt yourself in the process. Please keep us updated. And always remember its ok to vent, we all are here for you. So vent away HUGS!!!!

And on a side note, this is what I have been dealing with

6 Days after my surgery I had to go back to the dr because I had inflammation from the surgery, After leaving my dr, I had to take my son to his dr. where he was officially diagnose with Asthma.

I asked the doctor about having an inhaler for my son for home and school, he told me that he will write me a script for him to have at home, but if he needed it at school then he doesnt need to be there he needed to be in his office instead... So naturally I took it meant that he didnt need it for school, but yet the nurse came in there and gave me a piece of paper to hand to the school nurse.

He stayed out of school for a couple days due to his bronchitis, had to go pick up the excuse at the dr office since he was out one more day, then I asked them more detail about that paper since I was a little medicated and in alot of pain because hello just had my surgery 6 days prior anyways The nurse tells me he needs an inhaler at school, so I was like then why didn't yall give me a script for two inhalers one at home and one at school, So they had to write me another one (which i had to wait to fill it bc insurance wouldnt cover it bc i just had one filled) Then I took the paper work to the school house, turns out the dr office filled out the paper work wrong. So I had to take it back to the dr office get them to fill it out right. Then that next monday take it back to school and his inhaler to the nurse.

That Tuesday which was a week later from our previous dr appointment we both had to go for a recheck to see if the meds are working. I type up a paper of questions to ask my son dr just in case Im medicated and forget an important question. Did you know he had the nerve to laugh at my questions, and make fun of my questions with his nurse in front of me. Talk about me being so mad, I was furious, I would of probably totally went off on him but I was medicated at the time. It just blows my mind how he ignore my questions and laugh at me. ASTHMA is something serious and I need to know more info. He told me that my son was no longer sick anymore. I requested to see an Asthma specialist.

That following next day we had an appointment with the specialist. He check out my son and said he still had bronchitis, go figure the quack dr said different. The specialist answer all my questions gave me a peak flow meter and samples. He also gave me a list of things that I needed to do to make his asthma a little easier. Which my husband has been doing an amazing job cleaning cooking, laundry, taking kids to games and so on. I needed to still detail it a little more. I tried sweeping and mopping and washing all his blankets and things to make it more dust free. I ended up hurting myself doing so.

The doctor said he had to come back in a week.

Next week my daughter gets sick with an ear infection and bronchitis, So I am busy taking care of her then taking my son back for his recheck. Then they schedule my son for his allergy test.

By now I am like 6 weeks after surgery, I get sick, then my husband gets sick. My daughter goes back for her recheck up to find out she needs to have her tonsils removed.

(I switched my kids primary doctor since he wants to laugh at me, and not treat my kids sickness) So the new dr seen how enlarge her tonsils was and sent her to a specialist. Which indeed said she needed the surgery. So 2 weeks later my daughter had her surgery.

In the midst of me trying to recover from this surgery, taking care of sick kids, finding out my son has asthma, my daughter needing surgery, I became very emotional and try reaching out for support through my friends. I wished I would of came here sooner during this difficult time. I have learned that all the wonderful friends you think you really have, turns out they arent true friends at all.

I tried talking to one of them venting to them about my problems, and also asking her why I havent heard from her in awhile. It was honest as if when my health took the turn for the worst making everday of my life a living nightmare forcing me to have surgery, she was no where to be found. HEr response was sorry that i cant be there for your pity party i have a life too.

And then I also had other negative feedback from other people. Since I am a board member for my kids youth sports. I was talked bad about because I wasn't able to be there every day to help out as much as I normally do because I was in pain. A board members wife posted on FB about how I am not helping that I am so lazy that all I do is stay in bed. Did she even mention how I was awaiting surgery 3 weeks from then, nope. Then she once told someone "I had a hysterectomy and was fine at 3 weeks, there is no way she should be still hurting" And all I could say to that person was "Well if she says anything about me again let her know that I am still waiting my surgery, I cant begin to heal until I have it. And besides every body is different"

Then I felt that I was being a burden to my mom, since she was driving me alot when I need to go somewhere while the hubby was at work, and she also took my daughter to her games while my husband took my son. 2 weeks after my surgery, she kept asking me so when did the doctor say you can drive again, when can you go back to work, you should be up moving around alot more by now and so on . I was doing my best moving around. I would walk around the house and outside, and spent alot of my times in dr offices. Cmon now.

So yeah I have been on one emotional rollercoaster. I sometimes feel all alone. I have hurt for so long that I am so sick of hurting. I want to be able to me again. I feel like I am letting everyone down bc I am taking alot longer to heal. I tried to go back to work, and well that just set me back some in healing. I started hurting extremely bad again.

I have cry so many tears before surgery and after surgery. My recovery time has taken longer than I expected, I try my best to push my self a little more each day hoping that will help, but sometimes I over do it. I have so many people saying I should be better by now. I don't wish this on anyone but sometimes I wish they could just live a day in my shoes just to prove I am not faking this pain.

On a good note, my kids are doing much better now, Thank you Lord! I also manage to actually read the 50 shades of Grey book trilogy,which is amazing since I HATE READING LOL.

Sorry to vent everything I know this is way to long probably, it just been bothering me, and I read the title and wanted to let you know that I know somewhat what you are going through. Sorry if I went in to much detail. Just know that you are not alone, and you are welcome to vent anytime. I wish you alot of luck and healing for yourself and cats. Please keep us updated.

I am also Wishing Everyone A Speedy Pain-free Drama Free Recovery!! Keeping you all in my prayers!! Hugs

Prayers going out to you.

Here is my story:
I am 4wks post op. Figured since I was having the DaVinci procedure done I would be feeling better sooner than a TAH. Boy was I wrong. Actually all hell broke loose day of surgery in the holding room. I am an asthmatic and my anesthesiologist recommended a breathing treatment before surgery. Then he ended up very concerned that the antibiotic I was to be given during surgery wasn't a good med for me because I am allergic to penicillin (only an itchy rash though). He still didn't want to take chances but gave in when my doctor said it's just a rash reaction and she should do fine. My 3hr procedure turned into a 5hr surgery and my doctor reported that it was a difficult procedure. In the recovery room I kind of came to in a lot of pain but the pain med they were slowly dripping through my IV knocked my oxygen level down lower and lower so I required oxygen over night. I went home the next day and wasn't in a lot of pain. The first few days went well and barely any pain. Then out of nowhere after a shower I was in so much pain on my right side that all I could do was cry and stay in bed. Doctors office never even called me back about that pain. First 2 weeks of recovery kids and I stayed at my parent's house. My mom is a type 1 diabetic who has had feet problems the past 8yrs. 2 months before my surgery she had another foot surgery done. By the time I had my surgery her foot was finally healed, no small sores at the bottom of her foot. Well after her doctor told her she could be walking around on it again it was time for my surgery. Well a week and a half into my recovery my mom had a hole show up and open up and got infected. Her doctor had to cut a bunch of skin off and she now is wheelchair bound again. I cry every night about it because I blame myself even though I know she knew she should have stayed in her wheelchair some of the time.
Now to fast forward to this week. I started spotting all day Sunday, Monday the spotting was gone until the time I went to bed that night and then the spotting was back. Woke up Tuesday morning to bright red blood. Went to the doctor and come to find out a stitch popped open at vaginal cuff so now I am to stay off my feet and limit any walking until I see her again on July 18th at my 6 wk appt. Now I sit here and wonder if the Walmart venture on Saturday which all I did was walk, husband pushed the basket there and kept up with the kids there had anything to do with the stitch popping open. We did however take kids to see fireworks last night so here I am today wishing that I didn't because not only am I still bleeding but now hurting in the vaginal cuff area but I couldn't break those plans especially having a child with autism stuck on our usual 4th of July routine.
I now wonder how many more setbacks I will have with this surgery. My mom can't seem to understand why I still feel horrible at times at 4wks post op. Her reason for that is she didn't have any problems when she had her TAH 10years ago. My grandma thankfully understands. She had hers done vaginally many many years ago when my mom and her siblings were young and made some mistakes during recovery and ended up in the hospital packed with gauze after busting her vaginal cuff open so I am trying so hard to take her advice and stay off my feet. Sorry this is long but needed to vent. I have spent every single night crying once my husband has gone to work and kids are asleep. When husband is off I am usually hidden in our room or bathroom in tears. I feel so useless and helpless that I can't do a lot like I used to and at times regret this surgery.

Again, my prayers go out to you and your cats. I am a huge cat lover.
And to Leona- I am glad you switched your kids doctor. I have had to do that a couple times to get help with my son with autism and also my oldest son. It is frustrating when they don't listen or they tell you they give up on your child.

I totally feel for you with the fleas and cats. I do hope the other kitties are OK. I'd get a friend, family, or paid help to come vacuum and de-flea. Those things are hard to get rid of. I hope you can recover soon, with your dear kitties, and no more fleas.

To Ashlyn & Leona,

I'm so sorry you're both having such a hard time, too. Infections suck. Trying to live up to other people's ideas of when we should feel better sucks. Finding a good doctor, especially for your kids, can be difficult. I've been really lucky. My son is an adult now, but he didn't have an easy time growing up. Lots of med issues. I have asthma and it IS serious. A good doctor can make all the difference.

The stuff I posted before is just what it took to push me over the edge. In addition to all that, we spent 2 days in the ER with my hubby this week - different reasons, but he's gonna be fine. My MiL lost her dentures at the nursing home and now she's on a pureed diet, can't leave the facility to be fitted for new dentures and we're fighting for the facility to pay for them. Poor woman is miserable. On top of all that, she and my husband are being sued by the last nursing home she was in b/c when she began receiving state aid, they refused to pay for the first 3 months she was there. Since the facility didn't get their money, they're suing - for $32,000! My MiL has no money; hubby doesn't either. Thank God everything is in my name. He's been mostly unemployed for 3 years, so his income has been under 10K per year. He believes he'll win the case, but we can't afford an attorney, so he's representing himself. Nightmare. Really.

But I know exactly what you mean about wondering what happened to all your friends. My elderly neighbor sent blueberry muffins within 24 hours of me coming home. Two weeks later, one of my work friends stopped in for about an hour. That's it. Our "closest" friends haven't even called!! No one offered to help around the house (I was mad more for hubby than me), nobody dropped by with a meal to help out. Nothing. And it wasn't til the third week that I started calling people and chatting. I had to get past the anger of being forgotten. Everyone commented that "things just get so busy in the summer..."

Problem is we both have small families. My parents are 12 hours away, and his mom is in a nursing home. I have no siblings. He has one sister who is useless. In 10 years together, I've met her about 8 times. She lives in the next town over. My 2 closest friends have moved to other states over the past few years. One of them offered to come and stay with me, but her mom needed surgery the week after mine.

But I found myself thinking, 247 friends on Facebook and only one of them has time to stop in? My elderly neighbor isn't even ON facebook! I'm going to try to put the hurt aside, though, and think of this as a learning exercise. Anytime a friend of mine has surgery, I'm going to make a point of going to visit. No matter how busy I think my schedule is.

Knitter,
I am sorry you are having to deal with fleas, a head cold and the death of your mom's cat while you are recovering. Recovery is certainly difficult enough without adding to it!

I am sending my best thoughts and prayers for your 3 cats that they will be fine. As a mom of 3 cats myself, I know how much you must love them and how precious they are.