I have no right, do I?

I am about 5 weeks post op and am healing just fine I think. All of a sudden a few days ago I started thinking about never being able to bear another child again and the tears just started and continue to flow. The thing is, I am already blessed with having 5 children, so I also feel like I have no right to feel this way. I was holding my daughter the other day and thought, as she grows out of this, I will not be able to have one to hold and that will love me the way she does. Will I eventually be able to get over this?

Did you feel as if maybe you wanted more kids before your surgery? It could be your hormones. Just think once your kids are old enough they will have babies and those babies are the best cuz you can love them and then send them home at night. awww. Try to see the positives.

Jaxcie,
Deep breath honey, emotions and grieving are a real part of this process regardless of whether we have children or not. You have had major surgery and a part of you has been removed as well as the option to choose whether you have more children or not. It's important to remember why you made the decision to have the surgery and how much better your life will be after you have recovered. You will be able to give so much more to the children that you have.

p.s. I agree with AmanDita - Grandchildren are the bomb!!! I have four.


__________________
daVinci Robotic Assisted Hysterectomy
February 17th. Both ovaries removed.

Thanks guys. I am also crying because i feel like i should be doing more housework, but i just dont want to, its just all too much. After having the 3 floods this year, we still have clothes and boxes strewn all about the house, every level, there are 3, especially my room. Things are in the way of the washing machine and i cant get to it by moving it. The kids are not much of a help. Brett and I had decided we wernt going to have more children because of my health and the expense. I think I may be just feeling blue because i feel like I am getting so old. And no energy. Just had to get it out. I am not like this all day, but its safe to vent here. Think I will try sorting some clothes, and it will make me feel a little useful.xo

Jaxcie, you just had major surgery... its okay to give yourself permission to grieve and to let the house work pile up for a bit.... I had my surgery in January and I remember feeling like there was this void inside of me. I also felt "exposed" like everyone I saw on the street knew I was missing an organ...the organ that I felt, made me a woman... It was a process that I went through. Keep reaching out to people and don't isolate yourself..You are not alone! Hugs to you!!!!!

Jaxcie

I am sorry to hear you are feeling all these emotions. Also the guilt over 'not doing enough'.

Please make sure your dr knows about this so they can check hormones, maybe your ovaries aren't working the way they had previously. You also want to make aur you aren't experiencing depression from every thing that has gone on.

I just wanted to add that you are not alone. I have two children and my hubby was "snorfleed" (as he calls it) 8 years ago. So, unless I planned on cheating or his procedure failed, I was not going to have another baby anyway. But, when the time came, it was really hard to accept that I could not carry another baby. Just like you, I remembered all the reasons I needed the surgery, but I still had to grieve for what I COULD NOT do, even though I had accepted it years ago. I feel like I am rambling, but it is hard when it is your body that can't do something that you once loved doing or have never been able to do (as in some sisters cases).

Enjoy your kiddos. Hope you feel better soon.

ROFL!!!! I tried to edit my post above my hubby was "snorfleed" in his words. Where the snorfleed thing came from I have no idea! For some reason I can not edit it! Oh well....

oh my gosh it did it again!!!!!!! Must be a "banned" word!!! LMAO I promise it wasn't bad.

Sorry to have mess up your thread.

sscododk -

The word you are trying to use is one that isn't allowed on the site. It is part of the TOS (procedure done in a vet's office) and for some women can carry a very powerful negative emotion. They may feel a huge loss and this word most often accurately describes the surgery's emotional, physical and self-esteem impact.

So whenever it is used, even if in this context you may not have an issue with it, the system automatically substitutes the word 'snorfled' to reduce / eliminate the trigger for others.

I hope that helps explain what is going on.