20 years old and surgeon recommended hysterectomy

Long story short is on July 24th I had surgery to remove painful cysts that just wouldn't go away and extensive scar tissue. It was my third surgery within almost a year of each other (May 9,2011 & June 15, 2011) The scar tissue is from a disease I was born with that required a surgery when I was 3 days old.

Anyhow, the surgeon said that for my well being and "quality of life" that I didn't need to have any more surgeries and if they cysts came back (which he said more than likely they will) that he recommends a hysterectomy. I am only 20 years old. I want kids, problem with that is I've been told by 3 different OBGYN's which they all performed the 3 different surgeries i've had in the last year, that because of the extent of the scar tissue and no matter how much scar tissue they take out, it will grow back that I have little to no chance of conceiving, hearing that kills me. But on top of that this last surgery I had, they took one of my fallopian tubes out because it was deformed and there was scar tissue wrapped all around it and it, which makes the chance of me having babies even smaller. I'm trying to think positive, but I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb when it comes to this. From my surgery last June it took 11 months for the pain to come back and the cysts to get bad again. 11 months... So it's kinda like I don't know how much time I have this year.

I'm scared. And I honestly dont know how to take all of this. Help? Moral Support?

I can't relate to your situation, but I can offer moral support. You are very young to be facing this and there are some very wonderful ladies here who hopefully will have more information to share with you along this journey.
I can tell you, That I work with a young woman (22) and has similar problems, she has been told, she will likely never conceive and will likely have a hyterectomy in the next couple of years. She has become involved with a local organization that helps children facing court battles for numerous reasons. It absolutely will not take the place of having your own child, but sometimes special people are brought to this world for children other than their own. I believe it takes a Very Special Kind of Love to share with other's children.
I don't know what your personal situation is, but are you able to try to get pregnant at this point? A special someone in your life? Maybe if you can, you should at least try with whatever time you have left before the scar tissue comes back???
I don't have magical answers for you Dear, but someone else will likely be able to help. You are in the right place for the support you need in this situation.
((((((HUGS))))))) to you.

Well I can relate to your situation. When I was 21 I underwent surgery for a large mass that ended up being a huge cyst and crushed my right ovary. Then 2 months later I had a hematoma on my left side that caused my left Fallopian tube to collapse. Because of the surgeries I have dealt with scar tissue adheasions and plolycystic ovarian syndrome. After 4 surgeries and three failed attempts at ivf I am now three weeks post op from my hysterectomy and 30 years old. I can totally understand how heartbreaking the whole situation is. I am glad to be done with all the crap and feel great. I am happy I did it and look forward to not seeing my doctors do much! . Feel free to pm if I can offer any support! Lots of hugs being sent your way.

I can definitely relate to having doctor tell from the time you're young that you will most likely never conceive. For me it was a little different because I never saw myself as a mother. So when the time came to have a hysterectomy I didn't face the same emotional issues that I'm reading here that a lot of people do.

What I can offer is what your other options are (and I'm sure you have heard all of these). You can always adopt, there are plenty of kids born everyday in this world that need loving parents. If medically possible, you could have eggs harvested and freezed until you are ready to be a parent and then find a surrogate. You might find yourself falling in love with a man who already has children, being a step-mom isn't exactly the same thing but it's still a big role to play in a child's life.

The other options aren't perfect and it may not take some of the sting out of hearing now that you can't have children but once you are healthy and taking care of yourself you'll see these alternatives as a great way to still fill that part of your life.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by youngzebra I can't relate to your situation, but I can offer moral support. You are very young to be facing this and there are some very wonderful ladies here who hopefully will have more information to share with you along this journey. I can tell you, That I work with a young woman (22) and has similar problems, she has been told, she will likely never conceive and will likely have a hyterectomy in the next couple of years. She has become involved with a local organization that helps children facing court battles for numerous reasons. It absolutely will not take the place of having your own child, but sometimes special people are brought to this world for children other than their own. I believe it takes a Very Special Kind of Love to share with other's children. I don't know what your personal situation is, but are you able to try to get pregnant at this point? A special someone in your life? Maybe if you can, you should at least try with whatever time you have left before the scar tissue comes back??? I don't have magical answers for you Dear, but someone else will likely be able to help. You are in the right place for the support you need in this situation. ((((((HUGS))))))) to you.

@youngzebra, I am able to try to get pregnant and I do have a boyfriend who is supporting my decisions with all of this 100 %, he and I talked about it but we don't want to be judged because we're not married. I don't know about marriage right not because of everything else going on, but I know that I want to try. Each of the doctors told me miracles do happen and I have options, but that my chances are very low to none at all.

@ deslark & Crystal B,
Thank you both for the support, I'm sorry that you both had to go through similar things but I'm glad it worked out for ya'll. I am just scared. Having kids is something I really want. But there are so many different things playing out in my head and its not helping me try to think positive. The only positive thing that I can see come out of this is not having a period, which I hate, but there are more negatives than positives.

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Originally Posted by Kris1092 The only positive thing that I can see come out of this is not having a period, which I hate, but there are more negatives than positives.

I know that it's probably difficult but there are other positive sides to this, mostly your health. If it is in your best interest to have the surgery then you need to do it. I knew I didn't want to have children and I approached a doctor specifically because I wanted the surgery. I was in so much pain every month, had been for 20 years, and it was only getting worse and worse as I got older. It just took a while to find a doctor who was willing to do a hysterectomy on someone my age who didn't have tumors or cysts or anything else physically diagnosable. The only reason I asked my doctor about the possibility of harvesting eggs was for my parents because I know that they want grandchildren and after my younger brother was killed last year I was their only option. I know that if I change my mind in the future I can have eggs harvested (it's a little more difficult now, but still possible) or I can adopt. It's more important to make sure you are healthy before deciding on what to do about children. You are still young and have plenty of time.

Kris,
I did forget to mention that 3 of my husbands family members were told they couldn't have children, that it would never happen, including my husband. I can't promise you that you will be able to conceive, but those 3 people now have 8 children amongst them.

In the mean time, if your boyfriend is okay with you attemtping to become pregnant and that is what the 2 of you want, I say at least enjoy trying. Science is never perfect and you just never know what is around the next corner. Try to keep your chin up and keep asking the wonderful ladies here whatever questions you may have.

(((((HUGS)))) to you for such a difficult situation.