Anxious and trying to come to terms ....

My story!

Since agreeing with my consultant three weeks ago that I will have a TAH (keep my ovaries) I have been reading and researching everything......
This site has helped in the respect that I am a little in shock and very anxious about this whole situation and has removed some of the anxious feelings whether it is the right decision or not...yes it is but it doesn't stop those feelings.

I have always had issues/problems with my periods having D&C when I was only 20. I have had three ectopic pregnancies, each resulting in surgery and eventually both tubes removed around 8 years apart. I have two children after eight pregnancies.

The first time fibroids were mentioned was approximately three years ago. I had an internal camera which naturally led to 'what now'? In September 2010 I had an ablation. It went smoothly and I crossed my fingers that it would be the answer to my prayers but no....After only three months the heavy and continual bleeding returned, pain and feeling exhausted.

I returned to my GP in July 2012 as I am continually bleeding, in a lot of discomfort, bloated and constipated. She refered me back to my consultant and yes the fibroids have returned (with a vengeance) and agreed a TAH is the best option for a permanent solution.

I look around 5 months pregnant, I have good days and bad; this week is not a good week, pain wise. I am awaiting my date which is so difficult. It's only been three weeks and I have around another twelve weeks to go, and I am finding it so so difficult. It is so difficult to think of anything else. My body keeps reminding me. I am very nervous and scared although I do believe it is for the best.

My other half doesn't talk about things and so I have no support there. I am not sure how he will be when it becomes nearer time nor afterwards. This is of great concern to me as it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

I have already started running. I am not a runner but I am following a programme called couch to 5k in 9 weeks. Figured the healthier I am before, I would have more fight in me if there are any complications and also the healthier I am before the faster I will recover after.

Anyway, apologies for the length of the post, this is the first time I have 'spoken' about it since finding out!

(((((HUGS))))

This is suprisingly difficult to accept, but you have come to the right place for support along this journey. Everyone here is here for different reasons, but facing the same surgery. I am sorry that your other half is seemingly absent, but maybe he will come around. there is a link for "misterhysters" as well under the support link at the top of the page, maybe you can get him to read it.
I was like you when I got here having about a 4 month wait that I thought would take forever. My surgery is now only 1 month away. I have had a lot of mixed emotions about this decision as I am only 32. I decided to take my list of questions and concerns to my Dr yesterday and got to spend a full hour discussing those with her. Most of my anxiety is more at ease now. I have seen over and over again that waiting is the hardest part.
We are here for you 24/7 with questions, concerns, or just support when you need it.

Why are you anxious? I'm not trying to upset you, but you are in misery and the surgery will be the solution. Focus on the positives in your situation. It will help to calm your anxiety. Feel better soon.

Hi theno1mimi to HysterSisters! I am glad you found this site!

Being anxious and upset about this surgery is very normal. You are loosing your uterus, something that has made its presence known to you - for better or worse - on a regular basis. And now that is being taken away from you. Of course your are upset! This is such an intimate surgery, and is much different than any other surgery. It is also MAJOR SURGERY. It is a BIG DEAL!

The logical side you you can see the reason for the surgery, but the emotional side has not quite digested this whole thing. Both sides will process this at different rates, and at different times. That is okay. Know the emotions and the freakouts that you are experiencing are very normal. We understand what you are going through. Know that we will be by your side throughout this whole journey.

Explore around on this site - it is loaded with information. Also post your questions, feelings, emotions, fears, etc. It really does help.

Thank you guys...........you are right in respect that it is a rollercoaster of emotions. However the more I read the calmer I am becoming (for the moment).

Bigdeal - I think it is the fear of the unknown that is making me so anxious. I am reading everything I can to inform myself and hopefully help me feel ok.

I am feeling so much better reading the posts on this site especially those where I relate to and it is a comfort not to feel that it is not only me!!

This waiting is frustrating....even if I had my date I would know when but I don't have even that yet.

I understand completely. I'm way overweight and haven't had any problems. I'm praying for you to have peace in the situation. I didn't mean to sound like I had no anxiety. At first yes but then I realized I have no control over life and death anyway. It calmed me very much. Take your mind on a vacation and make sure you quit thinking about it sometimes.

Thanks Bigdeal.

It will all come right in the end....i am sure.

There will come a point after your surgery when you realise how much pain you were in before. Mine happened around the 1.5-2 week mark.

I had a lot of very anxious days about a week before my surgery. I was very easily irritable and overwhelmed. I just had to take a deep breath and tell my husband I needed to go in our room for a while away from all commotion. Then I would go lock my door and relax, read, or take a hot bath. It helped to just step away from everything and calm down.
I found this site just one day before my surgery and reading the posts here helped me so much. My anxieties really subsided. I don't know if you are a praying person or not, but it helped me so much to pray and to have a lot of other people praying for me.
I have had a lot of surgeries before and every time I go into it freaking out and thinking I may die while I'm in there. I totally freak out right up until I go to sleep. But this time was different. I was so calm, I really surprised myself. I think my husband was pleasantly surprised that I just gave him a kiss and smiled and said I love you (instead of like most times when I'm begging him to pray for me!). My surgery was yesterday and everything went so well. I am not in nearly as much pain as I thought I would be. I thought recovery would be much worse. Now I'm home and feeling really well.
I don't know if any of this has helped you, but I hope it has. I'm glad you found this site to have people to talk to. Just remember, your man has no way of understanding what you're going through. He may honestly not have a clue how difficult this is for you. And even if you talk to him, he probably still won't ever fully understand. How can he? Men are so different from us and there is just no way for them to fathom how our minds or bodies work.
I hope the rest of your wait isn't too difficult and hope you have a very good experience and fast recovery!

Thanks pixymeadows you have helped a lot.

I do not feel quite so alone and I think by the time I go into surgery I will be that relieved to get rid of these fibroids and the crap that goes with it, I may not be quite as anxious. Calm would be nice but I am not sure that would be reality for me.

You are right in that this site is very helpful and reassuring. I have felt so much better snce coming across it

Have been praying more and more this year but for others and not for me.

Thanks.