What to do with small children?

I'll try to make this brief, My Dh & I have a contracting business and have a large sub division that my Dh is doing the sidding in. The main builder called yesterday asking when Dh would be able to put in normal hours again, he's only working about 6 hrs (instead of 10) a day- the drive there is 1.5 hrs 1 way and he can't leave until he gets kids to school and day care 8am, and then has to pick them up before 5:30 pm. I'll be 3 weeks post next Tues the 19th and that is when I go to the Dr.

My kids are 4,5 &7. My boys are VERY active (aren't they all) I want Dh to resume his normal schedule as much as I want mine and the kids but I'm worried the going from almost doing nothing but recovering to olympic school runs and all that daily tasks require is just going to be too much. DH says recovery is only for a little while and to do what I can (nothing until a t least next tue.) and don't what I can't.

What can I do to help, my emotions have really kicked in on this one I almost feel panicy to get back to a regular schedule and help. Any suggestons?

Thank you, Shadie TAH/BSO 1/28/02

My dh went back to normal hours when I was a week and half post-op. I have to say its not been easy, but do-able. I have 4 kids, 8-6-2-1.
I just done what I could and left the rest behind. Which is H A R D.
Good luck and

Doing what I could is part of the big problem this time, I'v had 3 sergurys before and never had any help, well the adheshens were so bad that I had basically one large organ,(I'm waiting for the reports) This was due to being up by the third day and resuming everything I could. This was pointed out to me by the Dr. and nurses and was asked How badly do I want to heal right and how badly do I want them to have to fix the adheshens again?!? Life with or with out pain the choice is in simply following the Dr. directions.

(I was one who could be drowning and have someone offer a rope and say to them no thank you I dont want to put you out, never thought I could have ever repayed such kindness- didn't know then that one doesn't pay it back, it's best if it's paid forward)

You really have your hand full, I dont know how your doing it, I do hope your being very careful. Best wishes--Shadie TAH/BSO 1-28-02

Shadie

My DH runs a family business aswell and needed to get back to regular work hrs aswell. My kids are 4 1/2 + 2 1/2. What I did was explain to them that I would be doing the pick up from daycare but they were to do things like getting dressed, get in & out of van on their own as I couldn't help. That worked out pretty good.

I hope things start to look up

Hi Shadie

My children were 9 1/2 (boy, very hyperactive) and 5 (girl, normally active, very much a momma's girl) when I had my surgery. Thankfully, my MIL lives with us and looked after my DD while I was recovering (DS was in school and can look after himself).

I found that I wouldn't have been able to effectively look after my DD in those weeks I was recovering, not only due to the extreme Post-Op fatigue and the fact that I wanted to avoid injuries due to straining. My main concern was how slow my reflexes were and the brain that would have prevented me from dealing with emergencies.

I can understand that your DH needs to return to work to his regular hours. Would it be possible for him to drop them off to school and daycare in the morning? That way, you would only have to pick them up from day-care at 5:30. Would give you the opportunity to during the day. An even better option would be to have someone else, another parent who lives near-by, for example, pick them up and bring them to you --- especially if that would save you from driving for a long distance.

Are you even allowed to drive yet? Some insurance companies won't insure until doctor has okayed.

See if your husband can still help out one way and try to get friends, neighbors, classmates parents to help out the other way. Just remember to write really nice thank yous and promise to reciprocate when you are better. You'll find people are generally pretty understanding about helping. The hardest thing is to ask for the help.

I am almost 6 weeks out from a TAH/BSO, with 3 kids 10, 7 and 3, and a DH who is a physician (contractor type hours, but probably less predictable). I did deal with the getting off and getting back to school daycare after about 10 days, but in between I DID NOTHING. I had a friend drive them in the am, but I did all the morning routine. I did drive in the PM. But during the day when the kids were out I didn't do anything stressful. Not cook, not shop, not pick up anything. I got a teenager to come over late in the afternoon, unload the groceries (I ordered online) and fix dinner for the kids. Cleaning lady comes in once a week. She did the laundry hauling and I did the folding. I ate, walked, rested and used my heating pad.

After about 4 weeks, I started doing more. I think the real worry among us sisters is that if you start doing this, you'll go back to normal and that would be no good.

u might want to ask day care ours is charging a little more but thay are picking ours up and ive got a great friend to pick them up from school she wasnt my friend till surgey she had 4c sc with her kids and knew we had no one try that good luck. claudia