emotional rollercoaster

I will be having my surgery in June. It's torturous having to think about it all the time. One of my problems is the fact that I will never be able to get pregnant again. Yesterday I was so sad about it. I would love to have 1 more baby and I know I never will. I am so happy with my children that I already have, but sad that I won't have anymore. Yesterday I actually was having second thoughts about the surgery. Today I got a good reality check. It was another Vicodin day for me and a good reminder of why I'm having the hysterectomy, so today I want the surgery.

Do any of you feel like this? One day, for whatever reason, you want the surgery and the next day you don't? I know I need this surgery so I can be pain free and be a good mom to my kids. I didn't realize what an emotional roller coaster this would be and I think it's only made worse because I have to wait so long for my surgery.

I had enough bad days that I never wavered - take it out now! And I never wanted kids, which made they hyst decision *much* easier for me. But something that I think might be helpful would be for You-On-A-Bad-Day to sit down and write a letter to You-On-A-Good-Day - y'know "Hey Sis', remember me? Lemme tell you about how it looks from here. Today I wanted to go to play with my kids, but I hurt so bad all I could do was lie on the couch and eat narcotics like candy. ..." ... something like that... Might be worth a try.

I hope you have fewer bad days, and more good ones - June does seem a long way off now - but it'll be here before you know it.

Yes, Pasdechat, I also wavered, altho for me it was more out of fear of surgery, recovery & what this all would mean for my future. My symptoms continually increased up to surgery, & now, afterwards, I am already hopeful for a better quality life.

You seem aware of wonderful things you currently have in your life, including your children. If you're having many Vicodin days now, I'll bet the quality of yr life will improve also after June.

I agree with Linda's advice. A similar thing to try - divide a piece of paper in half & title one half "Pro" & the other "Con." Start these 2 ongoing lists - see what that adds to.

Thanks Ladies, for the advice. I think those are both good ideas. I am thinking more clearly now and I do know that I need the surgery, but I think I will try both of your suggestions. Very good ideas. Thanks

Hi

I am right there with you. My surgery is March 4th and yes, I do wonder daily if I am making the right decision. Usually it waivers multiple times within the same day. At the end of the day I always know that the surgery is the right thing but I think not having some concerns would be more out of the norm than being concerned.

I have children myself, five, but I would have loved more. Unfortunately, my body told me five is the limit. I first had my tubes tied aand then the endometrial ablastion so beaing children has not been an option for several years. I dealt with that loss then and it hasn't been an issue this time around.

Just know you are normal in wondering. Wondering has caused you to search out more info and look what a wonderful site you stumbled across! Best of luck to you!!!

May we all retain our sense of wonder, & wondering!