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Unread 02-26-2002, 09:25 AM

Last week I was thrilled and excited. Now I'm scared and sad.

I've had my uterus for 35 years. Three quarters of the time, it doesn't give me any trouble. Now I'm going to have it removed, and I'm grieving and scared. I sorta feel like my uterus is grieving and scared too, if that's not too woo-woo for you ladies here.

Why is it so hard to let go of things we know are bad for us, just because they're familiar and the solution means walking into the unknown?

I could really use some advice on how to cope with this sadness, and with the knowledge that I'll be physiologically incomplete (if healthier) after the surgery. I've been journaling and letting myself cry, which helps. I know my life will be better post-hyst, but I feel like I've put my poor uterus on death row when it didn't commit any crime. I feel guilty.

I'm also PMS-ing (last time, I hope!), mildly crampy, and having trouble sleeping, all of which could be contributing to a morbid mood.

Thanks for listening.

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Unread 02-26-2002, 09:35 AM


It's so normal to be experiencing a sense of loss and grief. Like you said, these are parts of us, we've had them forever, and now they are going. These are very common thoughts. I even felt kinda bad, thinking my organs had done their "best"...

It's good to feel and it's good to acknowledge that things will be lost and things will be different. But try to remember that things will also be BETTER! I can honestly tell you that although the thought does hit me from time to time that my uterus is gone, I don't even think about it 99% of the time.

Keep in mind that we don't realize how really bad we feel physically, because it's been such a gradual process. When you suddenly start feeling better, it's simply's a huge difference.

Hang in there, don't let the fear and the sense of loss overwhelm you, because as soon as this is over, you will be on the road to sense of wellbeing that you can't even imagine right now. I promise!

Unread 02-26-2002, 09:37 AM

Thanks, Karen. That really helps. Just what I needed to hear.

I do feel like I'm punishing my uterus even though it's done its best. How weird!

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Unread 02-26-2002, 10:21 AM
I've got that weird feeling too.

Hi Melissa,

I've got that strange happy-sad feeling about my uterus also. Seems like I've wanted to be rid of it for years and years, but then I think of how it was home for my 3 kids and how it served me well through those times. Oh, I'm so sentimental today (and teary)

My DH has graciously suggested that we have it pickled and save it because the kids would want to have it to remember their 1st home by. (Personally, I think they would rather have cash) lol! Anyway, thanks for answering my other thread today where I was feeling pretty down & out. I hope this was good for at least a chuckle.

Unread 02-26-2002, 11:07 AM

It was, Cindy, thanks. (And you're welcome. )

It's weird -- I actually want to see my uterus, either in a photo or a jar. I mean, how often do you get the chance to look at your own internal organs? Seems like it could bring some closure. Plus I'm a science geek and I love learning things.

I feel a little better now. I knew I could count on you ladies for some cheering up. Thanks.

I just have to keep reminding myself, when my mental waters get cloudy, that I made this decision for very clear reasons. I just have to hold on to the certainty I had before the nerves and grief set in.

Off to see my naturopath for some pre- and post-surgery advice.

Unread 02-26-2002, 11:48 AM

Dear Melissa
I do understand! I spent the hour before my operation (I was all ready to go to theatre, dressed in daring backless gown etc and there was a delay) standing at the window, watching the clouds and gently rubbing my tummy to say "goodbye" to all the bits that were shortly to be removed.
My uterus had also been home to three children, it had done very well, but the invasion of the fibroids was too much. Now it's gone I will always be grateful that it worked so well when it had to really do it's stuff - but wow, it's great to be free of the latter problems!
Six months later I still have occasional pangs of regret but I know that I made the right decision.
Keep up the pampering.........
Love and hugs
Unread 02-26-2002, 12:09 PM

I only kind of know how you feel a little bit. In one aspect, I am angry with my uterus and will be glad to see it go. In another, it is a part of me and my womanhood and it is nice to know all things are where they should be. It has made me feel "whole" in the past and it was home to my twins but things started to go way downhill a few years ago and I have been left frustrated and depressed by all the problems. The thought consoling me these days is that in 10 years it is just going to be sitting there useless anyway so why miss it? Also, uterine cancer runs rampant on my mother's side (she had a hysterctomy due to cancer) and I would like to avoid that. I do not want anymore children, DH had a vasectomy. It has served it's purpose. I think if I felt like you then this would have been a much harder decision for me. We are all in for a bunch of changes emotionally and physically and it is scary and sad and everything else.
Big hugs to you!
I hope everything goes well for you!

TAH/BSO 3/13
Unread 02-26-2002, 02:01 PM
neat pictures

Melissa, While searching thru these great archives here, I found a webpage site you may be interested in. It's probably not for everybody. Has pictures of healthy and unhealthy female organs. Found one of what mine prolly looks like. Sure is an ugly little fiend. Eek, makes me want to evict it all the more.

Hope this works:

I see your castle day is one day ahead of mine. Best of luck and keep the chin up. I'll meet you soon on the Princess side of Hysterland
Unread 02-26-2002, 02:19 PM

Doggone, the last part of that addy in my last post was supposed to be FEMIDX but I tried that and it still didn't work. I'm not computer savvy (as if you couldn't tell by now)
Unread 02-26-2002, 02:55 PM
picture of insides

Oh, that's interesting about wanting to see your uterus. My doctor actually gave me some photos from my laparoscopy. I actually saw my uterus and some of the evil endo. The sight of my huge "chocolate" ovarian cysts was enough to make me feel 100% that I was doing the right thing.

Now, what on earth do I do with those photos?


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