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Should I or shouldn't I???? Should I or shouldn't I????

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Unread 02-27-2002, 08:46 AM
Should I or shouldn't I????

My Dr. recommended that I have a vaginal hysterectomy to secure my bladder, remove the uterus, (leave the ovaries) because things are falling and my bowels are slightly blocked (I've had six babies. ) I have incontinance and constipation. Here's my dilemma: I'm a school teacher and am engaged to be married in June. I have three weeks sick leave coming, but that is all. I just turned 41 today, but am in excellent physical shape otherwise. I work out 3-5 times a week, and feel great (except for the fact that I can't move my bowels, have to wear a pad when I work out, and can't laugh in class without , well, you know....and gaining weight quite rapidly of late....)

Do I do it now and get back in three weeks or wait and mess up my wedding?
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Unread 02-27-2002, 09:07 AM

Wow. What a decision to make! I'm sure you will be weighing your options carefully. It also sounds like with all that you have going on, there's a need for this surgery as soon as possible. 3 weeks sick leave may not be enough to take you through the recovery with any extra repairs that may need t be done. Is there a possibility of "shared" sick leave in your school district. I know when other staff in my district have had medical challenges, we have been allowed to donate a limited amount of days to that person. If you can "afford" it, I'd go for it so you'll be healed and ready to enjoy your wedding without a hitch. If physically you are managing okay, then you might consider waiting until after the wedding to give yourself the summer to heal and recover. I see I'm no help at all since I would have difficulty deciding in your shoes. Take care of yourself. Maybe maybe make a pro-con list. What does yoru gut tell you?
Unread 03-01-2002, 06:44 PM
Should I or shouldn't I????


I know that being ill is a horrible inconvience to your life style. Afterall, we have so many obligations, so many people count on you, especially your students. How could we possibly give ourselves one moment of consideration? How can I mess up so many people's plans and my contract tells me that I have so many days leave due to sickness, What do I do?

Cathy, first, you will have to do something that is very hard to do, put yourself first in the situation. Only you can know what you are willing to put up with,but you really need to examine your motives. Are you baring the pain so others will remain calm and happy or are you baring the pain because you need to accomplish this goal? You Must , must, must put yourself in the number one slot.

I too am a teacher and I can tell you in all certainty that three weeks recovery time will not be enough. I don't care what shape you are in. there are hundreds of internal stitches that can be torn and in doing so ruin your health permantely. Many women are deceived into thinking that vaginal hysts are a piece of cake and you should be bouncing around right off the table. Your body needs its healing time no matter the type of surgery.

Talk to your fiancee, explain that you will need healing time after the surgery, don't worry about anyone else's plan except your number one priority, healing. Your guy sounds pretty special to be going into a marriage where he knows there are physical problems, albeit fixable. Get married, love one another and get your surgery scheduled after the marriage, unless you can't stand the pain one more moment or its an emergency case. In this way you could finish out the year, get married and recover from your surgery. Then and only then can you begin to build a life together without this pain. This will draw you together or you can let it divide you from one another.

A hyst isn't something you schedule in when you have the time, it is not a trivial surgery whether they go vaginally or abdominably. Please, treat yourself with a lot of sincere love and give yourself the time to breathe. I know that being a teacher is unlike many onther professions because you take each student home with you in your heart. You are under a lot of stress right now, take it easy and handle one moment at a time.

Hugs& prayers,
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Unread 03-01-2002, 07:55 PM
wait til summer

If you can wait until summer I would do that three weeks is not a long time you may feel ok but you will not feel back to your old self teaching has so many stressers i would wait until summer if you can.
Unread 03-01-2002, 08:38 PM
Should I or shouldn't I????

Please, plan your surgery knowing that 3 weeks is not enough time to recover from a vag hyst, especially with all the repairs they are doing to you. I had mine (without all the extra repairs) and there was no way I felt able to return to work until 8 weeks, and even then, I was completely exhausted at the end of each day for another 3 weeks.

You will read some posts here that say they returned to work after 3 and 4 weeks, but that is not the norm. 6-12 is the norm, and it just depends on how fast you heal. I too was in good shape before surgery, and I am still recovering at almost 18 weeks. I am just getting to where I want to go out and do things without being tired all the time. My doctor told me and I have seen it mentioned here over and over again, that the recovery period is 6-12 months for FULL recovery. At 4 months post op, I feel I am at about 85% of what is normal for me.

Good luck with your decision making. I agree with the statements made here already...put yourself first, do a pro and con list for both doing it before or after the wedding, and then I have one more bit of advice.... when you make the decision, do not feel guilty about anything (work commitments, family commitments, etc). Let your family worry about everything and you just worry about taking care of YOU! I know it is easier said than done, but if you just concentrate on getting yourself healed, you will recover much faster!

Again good luck!

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