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Help Me Please!!!! Help Me Please!!!!

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  #1  
Unread 03-11-2002, 10:28 AM
Help Me Please!!!!

I posted before and then I talked with my GP again, but I'm so frustrated I'm ready to wait and hope I explode from the fibroids rather than try to figure out what I do next.

The gyn who was to do my surgery wasn't going to tell me about the option of keeping my cervix until I found out on my own that's an option (no history of cervical cancer or abnormal paps), which now makes me very uneasy. I don't feel comfortable with a dr who was going to make a decision for me without consulting me!! The only problem, this is a rural state with limited options. I'm not comfortable with the local hospital and was going to travel 50 miles for the surgery with this other dr. Now I don't know what to do and I'm continuing to postpone, all the while living in pain with no energy to do anything! I know I need to make a decision, but I guess I need to know if others would be able to trust a doctor who wasn't willing to give you all the facts without being pushed into it? What else is he making a decision on that should be my decision??? Can someone please, please give me some advice.
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  #2  
Unread 03-11-2002, 11:00 AM
Help Me Please!!!!

Hi, Melsevene,

I'm sorry that you feel that your doctor withheld information from you. Only you can decide whether you'd be comfortable having this doctor perform surgery on you.

I'd advise any woman who's considering a hysterectomy to get at least two medical opinions before making a decision. When you're talking about your health and well-being, I think it's worth it to make that effort.

I live in a small town, with a limited number of doctors. I still chose to obtain three medical opinions, before I decided I wanted and needed a hysterectomy. For me, there was no question about it. I wanted all of the medical information I could find.

If you do choose to seek other medical opinions, you may feel more peaceful with the choices you finally make.

Good luck with your decision.

Sending healing hugs,
Helen
  #3  
Unread 03-11-2002, 11:15 AM
Help Me Please!!!!

You should definitely go with a doctor you feel comfortable with, who provides you with all the information you need.

That being said, your doctor may not have mentioned it because the cervix really is consider part of the uterus (it's the neck of the uterus), and it simply may not have occurred to him that it was something you might want to keep.

When I asked my doctor about it, she said she always takes the cervix, because she considers it part of the organ she is removing. She said if I really wanted to keep it, she was open to discussion, but that it was very rare.

However, you definitely need to make the decision that's best for you, but you may want to give your doctor a chance.

Some things to think about. Discuss these things with your doctor, and between the two of you, you can make the best decision for YOU.

1. Cancer. Is there any history of cancer in your family? Removing the cervix drastically lowers your chances of cervical cancer (still a remote possibility due to the chance of some cells being left behind)

2. Bleeding. Some women who keep their cervix end up having "mini-periods" monthly (only if they also have at least one ovary). These seem to be rare, and are very light, but are a possibility.

3. Sex. There are many conflicting opinions on whether the cervix contributes to sexual pleasure. Ask 10 people, you'll get 10 different answers. I can say in MY case, at least, sex is wonderful after the surgery (I had my cervix removed). My doctor told me it wouldn't make a difference, and in my case at least, she was right - neither myself nor my husband can tell any difference.
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  #4  
Unread 03-11-2002, 12:35 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

Thanks so much for the wonderfully supportive responses. I was very concerned that the anxiety and stress of surgery had turned me into some raving lunatic who overreacted to the slightest thing (well, that may still be the case...), but I just haven't been able to get past this feeling that I want a dr to tell me EVERYTHING and then if he/she has an opinion one way or the other, they can tell me that too. I may defer to their expert opinion, but I just feel very uncomfortable having a stranger making decisions for me and leaving me in the dark.

I'll let you all know when I finally schedule - which I'm thinking May of 2006 would be a good time - or maybe not.
  #5  
Unread 03-11-2002, 05:48 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

One other thing to consider is what type of surgery your doctor is planning. Any vaginal approach must include removal of the cervix.

I can also say that sex is no different for myself or my dh with the cervix removed. In my case, it wasn't even an option for me to keep it, because I had several abnormal pap tests and didn't want to keep up with pap tests every 3-6 months for the rest of my life.

Good luck to you.
  #6  
Unread 03-12-2002, 12:53 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

Thanks so much - I realize I still have so many questions and zero confidence in the doctor. I've got an appointment with another dr - a fourth opinion never hurt, right? - next week. I'm beginning to think I'm the master of procrastination - I wonder if I can make it a year since the diagnosis (September '01) without the surgery? After all, it's always interesting to take percocet for the pain and then lose touch with reality for a couple of days. Plus the unexpected, massive bleeding is always... debilitating! A hysterectomy has to be better than this!!
  #7  
Unread 03-12-2002, 01:06 PM
Help Me Please!!!!



I'm sorry you are feeling so unsure and uncomfortable. The worst part of making any decision for me has always been MAKING it...once it's made, I might feel crazy, but not in the same way.

I'm really hearing that you are not so much uncomfortable with the surgery...it seems like you've already reconciled yourself that it's in your future ('06? )...more like you are really uncomfortable with this doctor.

It doesn't sound like it's what s/he is saying to you, so much as the whole style/approach of incomplete disclosure that's making you distrust.

With that as a starting point, it's not surprising that you won't commit yourself to surgery in the hands of a person you just don't trust! I'd go with that feeling, and find another doctor for sure. Get that fourth opinion, and fifth, and sixth, until you find a doctor with whom you feel a connection, a level of trust, that will allow you to place yourself in their hands. You have every right to demand respect and full information...if you don't feel safe and comfortable with this doc, move on. YOU have to feel good about it, and clearly you don't!!!

Good Luck and keep us informed on how this goes!!

Karen
  #8  
Unread 03-13-2002, 12:35 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

Oh Karen,
Thank you so very much! I've had such a difficult time because so many of my family and friends have thought I was overracting to this dr's style, all the while telling me I just needed to have this surgery done so just schedule it and get it done. But few, if any, have seemed to understand that I'm not anxious or scared about the surgery itself (I've found that stressing about an upcoming event is usually so much worse than the actual event, so I don't bother anymore), but about the dr. You, on the other hand, seemed to sum it up so well and hit the nail on the head exactly for me. Your understanding and encouragement are so appreciated. I'll let you know when I find that dr and my surgery is scheduled.

Hugs to you.
  #9  
Unread 03-13-2002, 01:12 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

Just to add a quick note to what the others have said. I had to go and meet my surgeon for the first time. He wasn't my Primary Doctor. New doctors always make me nervous and I knew this was for a very important reason, so I needed to feel comfortable. First of all, I was at ease with him from the moment he walked in the room. He did consider the cervix as part of the uterus, so it would just go, he was sort of no nonsense about that. (And I was ok with it so it wasn't an issue). When he left after our first appointment, I felt like I had just had an appointment with my friend. I guess I just trying to say what the others have said, that surgeon that will make you feel confident is out there. Make sure you feel good about who's going to do your surgery. (I wouldn't have let my Primary Care MD do it even if she had been qualified. She was ok for appointments, but that warm and fuzzy wasn't there. In fact I've changed to a different Primary since my hyst and feel very good about that move also).
  #10  
Unread 03-13-2002, 05:53 PM
Help Me Please!!!!

{{{MELSEVENE}}}}

Hang in there and trust your gut...you'll be FINE when you do that!



Karen
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