Well im feeling kinda sad. Ive had a few friends and people tell me that my surgery was no big deal and that at 3 1/2 wks post I should be back to normal. "Four liitle holes means its no big deal," thats what one person said. How insesative They see me doing most of the everyday stuff, but I dont go around with a sticky note on my forehead telling them about how louzy I feel. I know my surgery was only laproscopic, but Im still in pain, fatigued etc. should I be worried that Im not at my 100% back to my normal self? What should I say when they make comments? Please advise sisters. Thanks
You don't have to say anything to them because first and foremost they are being insensitive and inconsiderate. Whatever the method a hysterectomy IS major surgery and there's nothing only about it. You have had an organ removed and unless they have, they should really keep there misguided opinions to themselves.
What you are not going to do us let their opinions effect your recovery. Do not try and rush things because someone else thinks you should be doing more and at a quicker pace. This is about you and your healing.
Print out the hysterectomy checkpoints. It has do's and don'ts at each stage of your recovery and tape them to your door. When they say you should be all well, just point to the checkpoints and don't say a word. Unless they've gone through it, they're just going by word of mouth. Everyone recovers differently and at their own pace. Don't worry about them. You will heal at the right pace for you. Just pamper the princess that you are.
Have them watch the video on youtube ( I never had the courage but I heard about it, lol) that will shut them up! Or maybe you can say, thanks, but I am going to follow my doctors instructions instead of yours, if that is all right with you. Sorry but this makes me so mad that people can be so mean! Four little holes is all that show on the outside, but there are many stitches on tje inside!
There's no such thing as surgery that's "only" laparoscopic. Major surgery is still major surgery, no matter how it's done.
You mentioned that you're doing "most of the everyday stuff" but also that you feel in "lousy" and "in pain, fatigued, etc." Might I suggest that this is a sign that you should be doing *less* of the everyday stuff? You need to put yourself and your recovery first - no matter what your so-called "friends" say.
I mostly agree with the other posts here. But if they're close friends that are just misinformed and you'd like them to understand show them like a previous poster said, email her the link to the video of your surgery. That ought to do the trick. . Mine was all the way open with retractors and the whole nine and my friends are acting the same. Sighh
Thank you so much for all the replys and the support. You are all right. I guess I thought I had to explain myself as to why Im still slow on doing things. And yes it is major surgery no matter what. Its amazing how people can be so cruel and insisative I would never. The next time I will show them a video of the surgery. I havent read the checkpoints thing. I didnt know ther was one (lol) I do need to slow down and take my own time in heeling. No matter how long it takes me. I guess im so used to always pleasing everyone else I tend to forget that the one in recovery is me and that I need to pamper myself so that my recovery goes better. So glad that I have someone to talk to. Hope everyone else is having a good recovery and is feeling better everyday, hugs to all of you.
If there's one thing that you should learn from the hysterectomy experience, it's that you don't *always* need to be pleasing everyone else all the time. Set aside time to treat yourself as Number 1! :-)
Just remember that those who say it's no big deal are saying that because they have obviously not been through it. If they had they would know better then to make such comments. As the others have suggested, I would tell them to look up video of the procedure on You Tube. Maybe then they would have a better understanding of what you've been through.
There are some people who bounce back quick from this surgery. I dont know who they are LOL but i am sure they are out there! Nothing to make someone feel bad about! What if someone had another kind of major surgery, like a kidney transplant, and started making someone else feel bad if they had one and didnt recover as fast? It would never happen! Because you only hear of this with hysterectomy! Whats up with that?!