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Not so strong after all Not so strong after all

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  #1  
Unread 03-18-2002, 09:36 AM
Not so strong after all

Hi sisters,

My castle date is day after tomorrow. Pre-op tomorrow. I was doing so good at being strong. Until today!! I feel myself falling apart I can't stop crying and I'm realy having a hard time concentrating on any thing else. I was so proud of my self for being strong the past few weeks. But today I lost it!! I'm scared. Tomorrow is my 25th wedding anniversary and I realy wanted it to be a special day. The Dr. even said I did not have to do the clear liquid diet. I can have a nice dinner & all I would have to do is the fleets enema before going to bed ( how romantic. But still better than a day on liquids AND the fleets) But I can't get myself out of this weepy mood enough to get excited about my anniversary!
I don't know what happened to me. I never thought I would fall apart like this. My bag is packed. The house is clean & laundry done. Shopping finished & meals are cooked and frozen. I guess I found a little too much time on my hands. I can't concentrate long enough on reading without having to read the paragraghs over again. Thanks for listening. Hugs to you all.
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  #2  
Unread 03-18-2002, 09:51 AM
I can relate

Shiloh, I too have preop tomorrow and surgery Wednesday. I'm doing better today but yesterday was bad for me. I am still nervous today. I cant' wait until it's all over and I'm back home telling you all how well everything went. Try to calm down and think of all the good that is going to come from your surgery. And how much better your going to feel. I will be in prayer for your. We love you, and I'll be here for you. Just think we'll be going thru this together so we can recuperate together too. I'll be here all day today on and off if you need to cry, I have a big shoulder. 's to you. Blessings in Christ, Mikki Jo
  #3  
Unread 03-18-2002, 10:01 AM
Hugs!

Hi, Shilo and Mikki Jo! Yes, it is very normal to be anxious and not able to concentrate right before major surgery. The adrenaline from stressful emotions causes brain fog and weepiness! I thought I was pretty calm, but my blood pressure was up the day of my surgery, so it affects all of us. Sorry to hear you have your hyst scheduled on your 25th anniversary, Shilo--makes it hard to really celebrate! But I know you will be feeling so much healthier and have new lives to start after tomorrow and you'll feel better when you're on the road to recovery. Try to think of everyone in the hospital working to make you better and let others pamper you--warm thoughts. We'll be waiting to hear from you on the post op board, hoping everything goes very smoothly for you. s and best wishes!
Ruthie
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  #4  
Unread 03-18-2002, 10:09 AM
Not so strong after all

So sorry how badly you are feeling. You are strong, but anyone would feel strong emotions too when faced with major surgery and around your 25th anniversary. That brings lots of feelings to the surface. You will do good, and remember the surgery is not to hurt you but to help you have another wonderful 25 years with husband Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers go with you You too Mikki Jo
  #5  
Unread 03-18-2002, 10:23 AM
Spring!

Thanks so much for all the encouragement sisters, I really appreciate it. Shilo, I wanted to add something that makes me feel really good. I thought it would help you too. Our surgery date is on the first day of SPRING!!! Spring is a time of refreshing, renewal, and all things coming back to life. Sounds awesome to me! Christ rose from the dead in Spring. I heard someone say once that Spring was only a glimpse of the glory of the Lord, and that is why God chose Spring time to raise His Son from the dead. We are in store for renewal, refreshing, starting over again. A chance for a new and better life. This gives me encouragement, I hope it does you too. 's Blessings in Christ, Mikki Jo
  #6  
Unread 03-18-2002, 11:00 AM
Me too

Girls we must all be normal, because my surgery date is March 20 also, and I've been weepy all day. Last night I told my DH I was feeling blue, and he said, "But I heard you tell Sharon this afternoon that you had a good attitude." I said, "That was hours ago." That's the way my emotions have gone, up and down, and I daresay I've read enough posts to know it is totally normal. I have my pre-op doctor visit this afternoon and I'm filling the afternoon with work (I'm printing invoices and stuffing envelopes right this minute!) and play. I have been printing out a coloring book for my daughter since I will be away from her for three days. I'm saving some work for tomorrow, like cleaning my filthy house, so I won't be sit in a pity party. Like most women, I'm not usually very centered on my own needs, rather I'm always thinking about what I can do for my kids, my DH, my friends. I'm working very hard on taking the next few weeks for KATH. My mother has told me that the way I take care of myself now can determine my health in my later years. I have a 2 1/2 year old, and I want her mother to be a very spry, hip-hop-happening old lady as she grows up! I have taken to referring to my recovery as "Bon-bon time" and I'm intending to pamper myself like I never have before. I've done the prep and now I'm almost ready...as soon as I get the floors mopped and vacuumed and the rest of the laundry done! Good luck to all you sweet sisters and I'll see you in spring!
  #7  
Unread 03-18-2002, 03:02 PM
Thank You!

Hi Sisters,

I want to thank you all for the replies to my thread. I guess right now I realy needed to hear your words of encouragement. And it is a good idea to think about beginning a "new" life in the spring, the time for renewal. I will also be praying for my sisters going through surgery. I do send up a prayer every night for ALL my sisters. Thank you for being here for me.

A giant cyber to you all, Thanks!!
  #8  
Unread 03-18-2002, 03:17 PM
Not so strong after all

Hi Ladies,
I just wanted to say I understand about the rollercoaster ride, it is very common and normal. And as you have read, waiting really is the WORST.
Something that really helped me alot was laying down and listening to meditation tapes, or guided imagery tapes or even just relaxing music. Do alot of deep breathing and really visualize yourself going through this easily...see yourself having a wonderful recovery....see yourself doing all the things you love to do this Spring and Summer. See yourself feeling better than ever!
And say a prayer and ask God to sit by yourside through the whole process! You are not alone in this.
I hope this helps.
My surgery went very smoothly. I was comfortable the whole time I was in the hospital. I had no problems with anesthesia or pain meds or anything. My recovery is going real well. I am out part of each day going to lunch or shopping etc. I can't believe how fast the 3 weeks have gone.
Good luck. You are going to do just fine.

Shelley
  #9  
Unread 03-18-2002, 03:25 PM
Not so strong after all

I had to post - I am having my surgery on Wednesday too! How many of us are there? :shocked: I too have been having a difficult day. I am weepy, tired, achy, and I have a sinus headache that won't quit. I am wishing you a good day tomorrow and I hope that you can relax some and enjoy your anniversary.

Take care

Denise R
  #10  
Unread 03-18-2002, 03:29 PM
Not so strong after all

Shilo, Mikki Jo, Kath -

Just another reassurance to you. Being scared is NORMAL. You can be strong and have a positive attitude and STILL be scared. They are not mutually exclusive :-). I am a firm believer that bottling up emotions is really what is harmful. I am a very strong person, generally have a very positive attitude, and I had moments of feeling sad and scared and crying and worrying about all the "what if's". I have another surgery and possible thyroid cancer to face soon, and I'm going through all those same emotions again with that. Hold on to whatever gives you strength - faith, friends, family, thoughts of spring, an upcoming vacation, relaxation tapes, and know that you WILL get through this.

Hang in there, all of you!!
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