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unsupportive family unsupportive family

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  #1  
Unread 03-22-2002, 03:42 PM
unsupportive family

I just told my sisters who have both had hyster's and they are not wanting me to have one how do I deal with all the negative comments about how this is not the best choice for me (I believe it is) They had theirs along time ago and I know things have improved since then
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  #2  
Unread 03-22-2002, 04:01 PM
Hi Shannydv

Yes, the support of friends and family is really nice to have when you are facing surgery.
You didn't tell us why you are having the hysterectomy? Are you in pain or having excessive bleeding. I would imagine you have a medical condition that is warranting the surgery or the doctor and insurance company would not be supportive of the procedure.
Does your family understand the problems you are facing and the relief you are hoping to get?
I am so glad you found this site. There is so much information here that will be helpful to you and that perhaps you could share with your sister's.
There is lot's of support here for you. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.
  #3  
Unread 03-22-2002, 04:02 PM
unsupportive family

Why wouldnt they want you to do something that will help better your life? They of all people should know how much having this surgery helps. Maybe they had a hard time themselves and dont want you to experience the same thing. Times have definiately changed. Its called technology. Doctors are constantly learning new methods and better ways to treat their patients. I had an epidural for my anesthesia. That was unheard of for this type of surgery even 5 years ago. Now they are doing it for all kinds of procedures. I would just kindly remind them that they made the choice that they did for themselves and you need to do the same thing. We are all different and have different reactions and recovery to surgery. Some people dont do well, other, like myself, do fine and feel great. I hope they will come to understand your feelings and give you the support you need!
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  #4  
Unread 03-22-2002, 06:07 PM
unsupportive family

I can't imagine your family giving negative comments; but then maybe their experiences were not good. It depends on why you are having the procedure done. Fill us in on the details that pertain to you; and you need positive input for your decision- and this is the place to get positive help!

  #5  
Unread 03-22-2002, 07:32 PM
unsupportive family

Hi Shannydv

So glad you found us. It is pretty rotten when friends or family members who have had this surgery are cautioning you against it. Unfortunately, many ladies indicate that they get negative reactions from some people. When I was deciding to have my hyst, it made me really angry that so much of the literature is very negative concerning hysterectomy, as if only an uneducated and gullible woman would allow her gyn to talk her into this surgery! One of my best friends could not accept that I needed a hyst ... but my gyn sure thought I did and so did the the gyn oncologist who assisted with my surgery! (They were right ... I feel so good now.)

At some point, I think you have to stop talking to these people about your decision. As with other life choices, when you believe you've made the right decision for you and others disagree, you sometimes have to just drop the subject. It's not a case of who is right and who is wrong. You know more about your body than anyone else does and this is a decision between you and your doctor. It's always good to get a second opinion and if that would ease your mind, get another opinion.

I hear you. It's hard enough to make this decision, let alone have to defend your decision to family members. Hang in there. You'll do what is best for you, I'm sure. And we'll be here for you, every step of the way.

Beth
  #6  
Unread 03-23-2002, 05:45 AM
Unsupportive

If you need support, you've certainly come to the right place!

I think when you talk to people about a decision like this, you get various feedback. Sometimes the people who will support you shock the hell out of you and the ones you expected to be supportive disappear leaving you very sad and empty inside but when you have life decisions or experience a death in your family, I have found that your true friendships shine through.

You did not disclose your symptoms but if you and your doctor feel this is the appropriate step to take and you understand what it really means (my gyn described it as the PERIOD AT THE END OF A SENTENCE - no more options PERIOD) - meaning, you physically cannot carry a child (I also don't know if you have children or if you ever wanted them).

If you're close to your sisters and this upsets you, you should get with them and explain what you've been going through and why you have made this decision.

Take good care of yourself. Make sure to click on the three sisters in the upper left and read posts out here - they will help you and you'll see you aren't alone.
  #7  
Unread 03-23-2002, 08:51 AM
unsupportive family

I remember those negative people well! Thank goodness most of my friends were not! Matter of fact, the number of my friends who have had hysters in the past 5 years is 15! Yes, 15! We were all so sick and had suffered in silence for years. The number sounds high, but women now a days refuse to live in pain and misery. Why should we? Everyone of these women does not regret her decision. So stick with the positive people if you and your doc have decided this is your only alternative. This board was probably my most positive friend! Good luck!
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