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Am I being Pushy?? Am I being Pushy??

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Unread 03-28-2002, 06:48 AM
Am I being Pushy??

It was a week ago when I called my gyn for some general questions I had about my TAH/BSO and this is when he layed the bombshell on me.. that my date of 4/25 was "tenative"... this is one day after I'd just signed my permit papers.... he said he couldn't find an assitant surgeon... he told me two weeks before that the name of the dr. who would be assiting...I asked when he'd let me know... ( I was almost in tears) he said "a week or two" I have had the most horrible week since he laid this on me... I've eaten everything in site and couldn't workout cuz the pain was horrific this week and have been swallowing percocet all week....
now my question --would I be pushy if I called and ask if he found someone yet... I have my pre op physical with my GP in 10 days and my preop is on the 18th.....
I feel angry.. mad, etc... then I try to "accept' it and say there must be a reason.. but if I don't get my hyster. this month it will have to wait until June cuz of scheduling problems with hubby and graduation....UGH...
so what do you all think... should I just wait a bit more or call today???
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Unread 03-28-2002, 07:04 AM
Am I being Pushy??

I just posted about the same time you did on sort of the same subject! I do not have a surgery date, actually have to go see the doctor on Tuesday in hopes that he will do the surgery! I feel the same way...I WANT to be pushy, but have a hard time! I too am in need of this surgery REAL soon! I have my step daughters grad June 2nd and my husband has had a fishing trip for Memorial weekend planned for over a year..I want to be back on my feet (to a point) by then. I don't know what you should do, but I know I would be calling and explaining your situation! I have found over the years that sometimes you have to be "pushy" in order to get things done!! My prayers are with you and I hope you get your date!
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:04 AM
Am I being Pushy??

It's been a week. I think it's appropriate to call. To them it's just another patient, but to you it is really very important. Since your surgery isn't until April 25th, they may not bother to confirm a surgeon until a week or two before if you don't push them to do it sooner. Tell them that you need to make some preparations for this. Lie and tell them that your work needs to know if they should hire a temp or something. I usually don't recommend lying, but in this case, they are really messing with your emotions and life planning.
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Unread 03-28-2002, 07:07 AM
Am I being Pushy??

Hi Kara
First let me say I am sorry you are having such problems with your doctor. I don't think it would be pushy of you to ask him about the surgeon. Just let him know that you have other things coming up and you need to kinda plan around the surgery.
He should be a little more caring but as you have read on these boards all of the doctors are not what we expect.
's to you and I will keep fingers crossed that all goes well with the date...
Unread 03-28-2002, 12:37 PM
Am I being Pushy??

I say -- be pushy!! You're paying the guy, after all.

Unread 03-28-2002, 01:30 PM
Am I being Pushy??

Being nasty, demanding. and snapping at people is pushy. Asking for information and assistance is not. If you are friendly and appreciative, most people will be the same in return. (yes, there are exceptions)

One way to handle this type of thing is to call, start off by saying that you're not wanting to be pushy (I use the phrase "a pain in the neck"), but that you wanted to check about what the doctor told you, since he did say he may have an answer by now.

In similar situations, I frequently mention that my phone is busy a lot (which it is), and that I didn't know if someone may have tried to get hold of me.

I'd add that I realize they are very busy and have a lot of patients to deal with, and that I very much appreciate any help they can give me with this situation.

My further imput to you is that relying on someone (stores, doctors' offices, etc) to get back to YOU will often result in frustration. You are not their only priority. The trick is to grease the wheel in a friendly, respectful manner. If someone tells me they'll get back to me, I will often say, "great, and I'll try to get hold of you, too - I want you to understand I'm not trying to be a pain in the neck if I call a few times, but that way we'll be sure to make contact". Again, the comment about the phone often being busy (which most of our phones probably are) is honest, but something that give a reason why I may call them back.

Good luck!

Alisa (who taught assertiveness classes and practice what I preached :-) )

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