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How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"? How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

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  #1  
Unread 03-28-2002, 06:55 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

Hi all....I have an appointment with a new OB/GYN next Tuesday. We have switched insurance companies (not by choice) and this is the first time I have seen this doctor. I am very anxious but also terrified. My problem is, that I am a very shy and never liked going to the doctor..I find myself having all these things in my head to tell him and when I get there, I never say anything! I am sure he will see in my records that were transferred my previous laporoscopy, endometrial biopsy, and the b/c and lupron...but I want to make him understand how much pain I am going through..how much this is controlling my life! I am not a cryer and like I said I have a hard time complaining to the doctors, maybe because the first two years I was told this was all "normal", I started feeling like maybe it was and I was just being a baby! Now that I have a probable diagnosis of adenomyosis, I know it is not in my head! My mom said I should have been making a diary or journal, but it's a little late now!
I want a hysterectomy, but I am afraid of just coming out and telling him that because I don't know him..I have heard wonderful things about this doctor, but like I said, I have a hard time expressing myself!
Any suggestions??
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  #2  
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:10 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

I'm not shy about these things, so I don't know what else to tell you except that you should just tell him! Write everything down on a piece of paper if you have to and read it all off to him and then look up and say, "I'm miserable and this is controlling my life. Can't we just take it out and be done with it?" Perhaps if you say it that bluntly he'll listen. He ought to at least realize that you aren't shy about surgery.

Most people don't want surgery, so the doctors sometimes tend to "dance" around the subject to see where you stand. Mine was that way until I said, " Can't we just take it the H--K out?!" Then she immediately agreed that it was justified and we got past it.
  #3  
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:27 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

Hi,
I know that I have come right out and told my gyn that my pain is ruling my life... I had to quit my job because of it...had too many sick days... also told him nothing over the counter helps with the pain and that the percocet just takes the edge off.. I still have pain and discomfort.. He knows I would love to avoid surgery... been to him for this problem since sept... but this is the only answer.... I wouldn't do lupron.. he tried to get me on that.. I said no after I researched it...
I know this whole thing is frustrating... oh and thank you for your reply to my post about being pushy... The thing that bugs me is the my gyn knows all about my scheduling problems... he canceled my first date of march 25.. it would have been all done and over with my now and I try not to think about it...
I need to be somewhat whole by graduation time and he knows this... I told him my kids are my life and I work my life around them.. always have...I guess If I were you I would go in to your next appointment and be totally honest and don't be afraid of tearing up in front of him... I've done that plenty of times... my doc hates to see me cry and know that I am in pain... lord he shoves pain meds at me like candy but I HATE taking them...
that isn't the answer...
I want my life back too.....
good luck and post after your appointment and let us know ok...
kara
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  #4  
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:35 AM
I am not shy but....

Hi there MJM93

I am almost never shy. However when i would get to my Dr's office I would forget half or more what i wanted to say.

Here is a tip that works great for me. I make a list of all my questions, concerns and or comments on my computer "paper still works to " I read through it and decide what is best to take with me. I edit it and print. I hand it to my Dr or I read it off to him. He loves that I do this. It leaves out stumbling for words or forgetting anything.

Also keep a pen and note pad with you to take notes. Some times this is good for you to have incase you want to look anything up later.

The Dr's have "been there done that, heard about everything" There is no reason to be shy. I understand however that it can not be helped some times. I hope this tip helps you out. Keep the post coming and let us know how the new Dr visit goes!


Michele
  #5  
Unread 03-28-2002, 08:52 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

Just wanted to add that I think the other suggestions of writing it all down are excellent. It is just too hard to remember everything especially if we are feeling rushed or flustered.
So please write down your questions and a list of ALL of your symptoms. Take in a few copies for yourself and the doctor and anyone who may accompany you on the appointment.
You might want to title the page "Why I WANT a Hysterectomy"
as this is your stated goal.
I am sure you have not come to this decision easily or quickly. You deserve to be honored in your requests for your body.
Let us know how it goes, okay.
  #6  
Unread 03-28-2002, 10:29 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

Hi, MJM93,

I think writing down the information you want to share with your doctor is a great idea.

I'd also like to point out that most doctors can't read minds. If you don't tell your doctor about the pain you're having, the doctor will not know about it.

Chances are that you're not going to say anything your doctor hasn't heard before. But if your doc has heard about pain from another patient, that's not going to help you.

Whatever it takes, please speak up! Most doctors are, unfortunately, very busy, so those few minutes your doctor scheduled for you are your chance to communicate.

It might help to practice what you need to say in front of a mirror, or to say it to a friend or family member, before your appointment.

Good luck with your appointment, and please, don't be shy.

Best wishes,
Helen
  #7  
Unread 03-28-2002, 11:02 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

Princessh is right. The dr. won't be able to "see" you are in pain. That is a symptom that you need to make him aware of. You may want to tell them what you have taken for the pain and if it worked or not. Something like 3 extra strength tylenols barely took the edge off for me and I had to resort to narcotic pain killers including tylenol #3 and then vicodin. How much this pain is controlling your life is one thing you need to tell him. I couldn't drive while on pain killers or be away from a bathrom for more than 30 min max. Also note how much bleeding you have and if you are passing any clots. Example... passing clots the size of a dime, silver dollar, orange, and such. Since you haven't kept a diary you may want to try and remember how long you could go without needing to stop by the bathroom to change supplies. I would go through a tampon in 20 min. I wrote everything down and handed him the paper. Adenomyosis is one of the things that only a hysterectomy will cure so if you have a possible diagnosis of that already I'd say you have a better chance of convincing him. Maybe having a family member go with you could also help for a second ear. I know when I took hubby one time he said something to the dr. I didn't think was important enough to bring up and it was.
  #8  
Unread 03-28-2002, 11:51 AM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

I had the same problem with dr's. Due to a switch in insurance companies I went to a new one. Well, I started to hear all the same blah, blah, blah - you are not in menopause so let's try these pills, yada, yada. Finally I just broke down and became very graphic in describing my suffering. (I had adeno & fibroids). I told him what it was like in very un-ladylike terms - I bled so much it looked like I had just slaugherted a pig, the pain was like red hot swords in every orifice. How I had to cancel a vacation, and how would he like it if he was in pain two weeks out of every month, bleeding through clothes, etc. (I don't have to tell any of you!). These guys just do not realize the agony we go through. Anyway, the expression on his face was of sheer shock. He just said "Half the battle of getting a hysterectomy is convincing the doctor - you just convinced me". My TAH/BSO was Jan 28 - I have never been happier. I thanked him for giving me my life back. I totally understand the frustration you are going through - it took me over 20 years of begging. My adeno was not found until after the surgery and was labeled "severe" on the path report - my fibroids were not really huge - so on paper I was not really a candidate for a hyst. But you must fight for yourself and your well being. No one deserves to suffer. God Bless - Have courage!
Wouldn't it be great to post doctors names & cities and give them "reviews"?
  #9  
Unread 03-28-2002, 12:21 PM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

MJM93, s!!

It's hard being shy, isn't it? I used to be quite shy too. I think writing it all down with lots of specifics, maybe as a letter to your doc, and then handing it to him/her, is a great idea! You could even explain that you're shy and this is the best way for you to be sure you say what you need to say.

The first time I saw my new gyn (back in October, hadn't been to one in years, got a referral from my naturopath), I laid it all out for her: I'd been suffering terrible cramps for over 2 decades, here are the things I've tried (meds, bcp's, exercise, diet, alternative stuff, etc.) -- and unless modern medicine has a better option, I want a hyst. I'm tired of my life being limited. She told me about Lupron, and other hormonal treatments, which I'd heard too many horror stories about (plus I didn't do well on bcp's). She mentioned narcotics (Vicodin), which made me leery, but I eventually tried them. They didn't help enough.

I think she was impressed with how thorough I had been, and that I could demonstrate that I had tried absolutely everything else and nothing had worked for me.

When I visit a doc, I see myself as my own health manager, and the doc as my highly educated consultant. I am very clear that I am taking responsibility for my own health. I think that helps them understand that I don't expect them to be miracle-workers, just to keep me informed of my choices.

Good luck to you!!

Melissa
  #10  
Unread 03-28-2002, 03:55 PM
How to make the doctor see "I am in pain"?

When I finally was brave enough to go to my new doc, I started half way down my list, and he said, "No woman should have to live like that!" He looked at my records, pulled out a calendar, and said to pick a date! Yes, it was easy, but the doc before this one was a real jerk and wanted to try more horrible drugs and D&C's. He needed $ to support an ex-wife and a new one. He liked fast cars and fur coats! I hated this guy! Finding a sympathetic doc is hard, but keep fighting. Your life depends on it. Good luck!
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