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I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with! I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

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  #1  
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:12 PM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

I just got the date of my upcoming hysterectomy. It is April the 16th and I go from being sort of happy about the fact that I am right now having the last period I will ever have to feeling horrible that this is the last time Aunt Flo is going to come. That's just ridiculous. I hate it when Aunt Flo comes. She reeks havoc on my emotions and that's the least of the problems. She ruined my next door neighbor's new couch last year, has caused more embarrasing oopsies than I can even remember and now has put me in the hospital due to the large clots and pain and anemia she brings along. I am on the young side for this surgery, but none the less very much needing it. so why am I so scared? I don't know. My doctor says that he is going to leave the ovaries. This is hopefully going to be done vaginally but could be abdominal if the fibroids are too big. I have had 2 c-sections and I think my biggest question is...................Is the recovery like that of a c-section? I am tired and not sleeping well. My husband is a doll and he keeps doing nice things like taking me out to dinner to cheer me up but this lump in my throat just won't go away...........and I know I don't want any more babies but the thought that I CAN"T have anymore is surprisingly difficult for me to accept. So, there you have it. I am miserable and not ashamed to complain. I hope you all will forgive me though because this is not the usual me at all. Soon, I hope to rediscover the old me, the happy, athletic, outgoing, friendly, fun-loving me......the one I miss and love. Well, I am about to start crying again so I hope someone will e-mail me back.
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  #2  
Unread 03-28-2002, 07:32 PM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

Hey, you are not alone in these feelings. My date is April 16 and was given to me 3 weeks ago. Crazy doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I found ways that work for me to help take my mind off surgery (quilting) but you just have to think about yourself and find what is most relaxing for you. Not you family but you. I too just had my last period and was thrilled to death about it. Will have no sad feeling about no longer having pain, clots and feeling just plain like the walking dead. This is a really good thing for me and I have to keep that in mind when the feelings of fear, anxiety and doubt creep in. Hang in there and know I'm thinking about you.
  #3  
Unread 03-29-2002, 11:20 AM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

Hi, Julie! Welcome to HysterSisters! Glad you're finding some support and info here. Yes, a hyst is a very emotional and major surgery for us. Here is a thread you might like to read http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...highlight=fear Even if we don't want any more babies, we still are sad about losing this part of our womanhood, and we wonder how we will find ourselves afterwards. I'm happy to report that I feel great and just as feminine (or even more feminine since I'm getting more estrogen than my unhealthy ovaries were giving me!) 9 months after my hyst. As far as a hyst comparing to a c-section? Not for most sisters! If you're having a TAH, the incision will be the same as for a c-section, but the work done inside is totally different. It is a much more invasive, traumatic surgery with a little more pain (manageable with pain meds) and a much longer recovery of 6-8 weeks. You must plan on resting with feet up for the first couple weeks (short easy walks allowed), and then slowly increase activity over the next 4-6 weeks--but no lifting, heavy housework (including vacuuming!) or standing on your feet for long periods of time. Your dr should give you specific post op instructions and restrictions. Take advantage of this, and enjoy being a pampered princess! Best wishes for a smooth surgery and good recovery! s
Ruthie
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  #4  
Unread 03-29-2002, 06:55 PM
juliroo

I think you just described me....My surgery is on the 19th. I also have one child and do not want anymore but also don't like the fact that the choice will not be there. I find myself having anxiety problems, very snappy, and down right hateful at times. I am scared of the unknown and the fact that I will not be in control of my body for the first day or so depending I will be drugged up (of course once I go thru this i will probably be glad i am drugged up)
This board has helped ease my frustrations somewhat-
I feel bad because I feel as though I am a ticking timebomb just waiting for someone to say something wrong....I hate that. I guess i am just too edgy.
Everyone says the waiting is the worst- guess we will find out before long
Good Luck with your surgery and keep us informed.

~RuN-AbOuT~
(Lynne)
  #5  
Unread 03-29-2002, 09:22 PM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

Hugs to you Julie! So many of us have had the symptoms you are describing. Emotions....emotions.....emotions! When we don't feel well it just seems that everything is worse! I'm glad that you have a surgery date. One last period. I'm sure you will feel much better AFTER the surgery and letting time heal you. One day you will feel like be your active fun-loving self again. This is the place ot come to voice questions and share how you are feeling with others. You are very fortunate to have a loving and understanding husband.

Hugs to you,
Patty
  #6  
Unread 03-29-2002, 09:28 PM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

{{{Julie}}}

I can relate!! Between nightmare health problems and one family crisis after another, I only had two modes for the last couple of years, crying or yelling. My poor daughter! She has gone through a lot with all this, it will take a long time (and lots of presents, lol) to make up for it.

I am still pretty grouchy, but I just had my surgery nine days ago, so I'm not feeling really comfortable just yet. And being cooped up isn't much fun either. But I know there are happier days ahead!

Hang in there, I know you read it over and over again around here, but...the waiting really IS the worst part.




  #7  
Unread 03-30-2002, 04:14 AM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

Grouchy and touchy?? Fly off the handle at the drop if a hat? Cry at anything? Oh, that was me! I was on provera, 11 days a month, for three years to control the bleeding caused by my fibroids (yeah the insurance company again, had to try alternatives to surgery first). The provera was doing its job until last October, then my period started and didn't stop for 46 days, heavy bleeding, huge clots, mega cramps, the works. DR said it was time. Thank God!

The provera made me a raving lunatic! And it got worse the longer I took it. Last summer I asked if the insurance company would find homicide preferable to surgery! I referred to it as "drug enhanced pms".

The first couple of weeks after surgery I was very teary, feelings got hurt pretty easily. My DR waits two weeks to start HRT. So at 2 weeks I started 1mg estrace/day. I had my last post op check up yesterday and she asked me how the estrace was doing, how were my moods, etc, and that's when I realized that I've been very even tempered and HAPPY! The real test is this summer, I manage a busy seasonal business, I have a lot of college kids working for me, there are times I think I'm actually running a summer camp, if they don't get to me nothing will!

I had a little trouble being cooped up, there were days when I was quite stir crazy, I was being watched closely to make sure I didn't do too much. As much as I dislike housework it's nice to be allowed to do it again (when I want to ).
  #8  
Unread 03-30-2002, 05:41 AM
Scared, worried, nervous, grouchy

I am 4 1/2 weeks post-hyst and I can't believe I have left all those feelings behind. I really did have them all pre-hyst. And no more PMS, post-MS or ANY MS! This is the most level-emotional I have been since 14 years old!

Occasionally I (guiltyly) think I shouldn't have had my surgery, how selfish it was, and then I remember that the dr. was on my side, that my emotions were a roller coaster, my "parts" had served their purpose and I really did need surgery sooner or later. I just chose to have it sooner.

Just know that there are HysterSisters out there who have all been where you are now. I don't think there are any who would go back to where we were pre-hyst. Keep checking in with all of us, know that you are not alone and face tomorrow with your head held high.

Prayers & s
  #9  
Unread 03-30-2002, 07:12 AM
Pre-op fears

I totally understand your fear of surgery. I am 4 1/2 months post-op, and I can tell you that the fear of surgery is worse than the surgery. I had multiple large fibroids; I had to have
an abdominal incision. I kept my cervix and my ovaries; I think that contributed to my
rapid recovery. Since I am at least ten years away from menopause, I opted to keep
my ovaries. I researched the surgery and decided the best type of hysterectomy for me
was a supracervical hysterectomy; I wanted to retain my cervix.
I had a uterus the size of a 22 week pregnancy. I was in surgery for 1 1/2 hrs. I never
felt any significant pain after the surgery. I did have a hoarse voice and dry mouth from
the anesthesia for about 24 hrs. after surgery. Also, I was nauseaous and vomitted two
or three times the first two days after surgery. Talk to your doctor about going on a
restricted diet after your surgery. If your bowels are still sluggish during the 48 hrs.
after surgery, he may want to put you on a liquid diet. My surgery was on a Friday; I was
given soup broth, jello, and ginger ale for dinner. I wasn't hungry, so I drank very little
of the soup and ginger ale. The next morning my bowels weren't functioning normally;
it was too soon after surgery. In addition, I was still feeling some after-effects from
the anesthesia. I was nauseaous, but I was served French toast, sausages, milk, tea,
orange juice, and a roll for breakfast. I vomitted after I ate. This happened after I tried
to eat another meal. I shouldn't have been given solid food until my bowels were
functioning normally; the doctor or nurses will listen to your bowels with a stethescope.
When they hear gurgling, things are back to normal. Check with your doctor about
your diet after surgery so you don't feel nauseaous and vomit. It is painful to vomit
after a hysterectomy!
I was up and walking the day after my surgery; I also took a shower. Two days after
my surgery I was walking unassisted. I never felt like I had major surgery. Talk with
your doctor; discuss your fears with him. Good luck!
  #10  
Unread 03-30-2002, 07:39 AM
I am so scared, worried, nervous, grouchy, and impossible to live with!

You are definately NOT alone!! I am so sick of this emotional rollarcoaster ride I have been on the past 2 years! It is really been taking a toll on my life the past 6 months..I don't want to come out of my bedroom and if I do then I am on the computer...my life consists of going to work, coming home, struggling to have energy to make dinner, visit with my little boy (from my bed, of course), laying down and watching TV until I fall asleep...it finally hit me a few weeks ago, that this was no kind of life!! My DH finally told me "he doesnt even know how to act anymore, he feels nothing he does makes me happy"...and he's right!! Not a way I want to spend my life...I am just glad that most of the time I am doubled over in pain, my son has been at school--wouldn't want him to see that! I just want my life back, I want to be happy and pain free...I want to enjoy intimacy with my DH again instead of dreading it cuz I know I will be in horible pain or bleed all over!! What women have to go through is NOT fair!! Just keep a positive attitude and know it will all be over soon!
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