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I just hit the wall I just hit the wall

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  #1  
Unread 04-02-2002, 09:34 AM
I just hit the wall

Dear Sisters,

Yesterday I was strong and giveing support to other anxious sisters. Last night, oh somewhere about 2:00am, I hit the wall. I am so anxious right now I am close to tears. When I look forward to everything I have to do in the next two weeks I become overwhelmed and frozen with anxiety. Then I look forward to the limitations post op and am trying to get everything lined up so things don't fall through the cracks. I am a single women, live alone, own my home, with a demanding career . Thank God I have an understanding manager. He is a jewel. There is still a lot to organize.

I am independant to a fault and feel that part of this process is for me to learn how to ask and let other people help me. I will recoupreate at my Moms house and have had to ask other family members to help at my house. Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm having my kitchen remodeled at the same time.

I know I've been rambling but that's just where my head is at right now. I want to thank each and everyone of you who participate in this site. I did not realize how much support I needed until I found this site and began reading the inputs.

Thanks for listeneing and helping keep me strong.
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  #2  
Unread 04-02-2002, 09:55 AM
re i just hit wall

Hi Rachel,

I can appreciate your honesty. You are not alone by breaking down and not being as strong as you would like to be. I am where you are at, as my surgery is tomorrow. You need to take care of yourself and allow us sisters to encourage you and lift you up! God is with all of us in our darkness.......
  #3  
Unread 04-02-2002, 09:58 AM
I just hit the wall

Hi, Rachel,

We have the same surgery date. I understand how you are feeling. Friday and Saturday of last week, I had some trying moments. Have been busy the last two, so I am doing better. As it gets closer, I am sure I will probably have more panics. Keep me posted on how you are doing. Good luck,

Debbie

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  #4  
Unread 04-02-2002, 10:25 AM
Hi Rachel

This is just a rollercoaster ride no matter how strong we are. When you need to cry just sit down and have a good one. You will feel so much better afterwards.
You are so right...this is the time we get to learn how to ask for help. That was hard for me to. I am so much better at giving it.
It is wonderful how much support is there for us, that perhaps we never knew we had. There are some wonderful gifts in this journey.
I also recouped at my mom's. We are lucky to have our mom's to take care of us. It is kind of nice to get to have that experience again.
Based on your "location" I can appreciate your demanding job. I assume high tech which I have been in for 20 years. I am so glad you have an understanding boss. They will be okay.
Take all the time you need for your healing. It is so important to not overdo it in the beginning. It really pays off in the long run.
Take it easy, it's going to be okay.
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
  #5  
Unread 04-02-2002, 10:47 AM
Same Boat

Hi RJ,

I'm in the same boat, as I'm single and have no one to help care for me after my surgery. I can't even go to my Mom's because she's disabled and can barely care for herself, let alone me!

I've been sitting here for days worrying about that and about how on earth I'm going to make it financially having to take off from work for so long.

I've actually reconsidered having the surgery several times, but everytime I decide to cancel, I'm reminded of just how weak I am right now from the constant, excessive bleeding. I know I'll get through this somehow, and will be better off when it's over. And so will you.

Just hang in there. When you're on the other side, looking back, it will all be worth it.

God bless you!
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