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  #1  
Unread 04-03-2002, 02:10 PM
In Denial

I am hopefully going to have my tah/bso done in 3 weeks... pending my ear infection goes away... but now I am beginning to become a little bit in denial.. denial that this is actually going to happen.. its been in the planning stage for so long... first date dr. cancled cuz of his vacation was moved.... I've been in pain and agony for so long its part of me... I sometimes in the middle of pain will think to myself... what will it be like to be without this pain??? I can't phathom it.... really, this pain has been part of my life for about 8 years now getting worse each and every year and the bleeding... ugh....
has anyone ever gotten so scared they just totally put it out of their mind, the surgery I mean.... I don't even want to prepare for it... I know I need to get my act together... but I just can't... I'm in denial... I should clean, organize, shop, etc.... just can't get it together to do it. I go to my primary for him to check my ear on friday... then on tues I have my pre op physical and the week after that I visit the hospital for more tests, talk with anestheologist... I guess I am overwhelmed....
lord I wish I could fast forward the time to next month.....I am scared... so scared something will happen, go wrong, infections, bloodclots, anything like that.... my kids need me still....
I guess its just a hard day.....
kara
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  #2  
Unread 04-03-2002, 02:28 PM
been there done that!

Hi Kara,

I am one week post op today! Saw your post and understand exactly where you are at right now because just a few weeks ago that was me! It took me a year to accept the fact that I really needed this surgery. I read everything I could, researched all the alternatives, and was willing to accept pain and bleeding as normal all to avoid surgery. Fear of general anesthesia was a big player in my denial!!!!

Now that I am on the otherside I don't know what I was thinking!!! My energy level is higher right now than it has been in a year, yes my body is much slower, and I am still sore but I can't wait for the rest of me to catch up!!!!

So stock the pantry because you will be glad you did.......and the rest will get done and if it does'nt it does'nt!!!

I wish you well on your upcoming surgery and speedy recovery!!!
  #3  
Unread 04-03-2002, 04:24 PM
In Denial

Hi.
I went through the exact same feelings. I even tried to talk myself out of really needing the surgery. I am 16 days post op and am so glad that I went through with it. The waiting really is the worse part. Don't worry if you don't get everything finished before you go, it will be there when you are ready to do it. I didn't do nearly as much as I wanted because I just didn't feel up to it. I only got the laundry done because I have stairs to deal with. My house isn't as clean as I would like and I haven't cooked meals that my family is used to , but everything has been great and my family has survived . I will make up for it when I am ready to start cooking again. Just take care of yourself. I keep remembering what sisters have said before , we only have one chance to heal correctly , and I am going to do everything I can to do just that.
Best Wishes to you !!!! Terri (TVH/BSO 3-18)
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  #4  
Unread 04-03-2002, 04:50 PM
In Denial

Kara,

I planned to spend the last couple of weeks before surgery cleaning and organizing but didn't do a thing until about 3 days before. At that point I just went into high gear and didn't stop until I pulled the last load of laundry out of the dryer as I was leaving for the hospital. I kept thinking maybe I didn't really need the surgery - my last period was only 16 days long, I can do this for a few more years...NOT. Maybe the hospital would call and tell me there was something horrible with my blood test...NOT. Even when I was finally going through the motions to get the house and my job ready for my recovery, I didn't REALLY believe I was going to go through with it. Not until I was lying on the gurney and they were wheeling me into the operating room. I'm 8 days post-op and so relieved that I did it. Do what you feel up to doing and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Good luck!
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