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Pre-Op Hysteria Pre-Op Hysteria

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Unread 04-05-2002, 05:39 AM
Pre-Op Hysteria

Hi, all!

I think that would be a good title for a new forum!!!!

Had a lousey night and morning and need to vent.

Tell me, am I too hard on my husband? Spent all of Wednesday evening in bed trying to get rid of a pre-LAST PERIOD headache. His mother had invited us to dinner last night to thank us for helping her move. No headache, so why not? Had to stop and get dinner for teens on way home for work. Had a half-hour to sit down, then get ready and leave. On the way to dinner, he announces he wants to go shoe shopping after dinner! I said no way, but my MIL said she had promised to replace the shoes he had ruined reroofing her house. Didn't want to shout out my reasons in front of everyone, but grumbled a little. Thought he would get the message.

NOT! After dinner, with more grumbling from me, we headed for the mall. By this time it's 8:30. Now, I got up at 5:30 to get the kids off to school & go to work. So did he, but his reason was a little different. He had day off & went to play golf. He then spent the afternoon napping. Of course he has plenty of energy to go shopping at 8:30 PM!!!!!!!


In addition to this, he & my MIL starting discussing all the projects she had lined up for him to do on her new house: tear out and replace a shower, replace all the windows.............

Now, I'm still waiting for him to replace the molding in the kitchen, family room, and hall after he tiled 3-4 years ago. Hasn't painted trim or door on outside since he put up siding 2 years ago (or fixed the front step he broke in the process) Not to mention the master bath that is still under construction for the last 6 years.

Now I know she's a widow, but he's resently put in a whole new bathroom for her, reroofed, remodeled her family room, and ALL OF THESE PROJECTS GET FINISHED!!!!!

Now, I don't mind him helping her, but is it too much to ask that he finish one of our projects, then one of hers?????

Too make a long story short, after we dropped MIL off, I explained how PO'd I was.

Last period has started. Cramping. Steaming. I still think we need a formum named PRE-OP HYSTERIA!!!!!!

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Unread 04-05-2002, 05:46 AM
Pre-Op Hysteria

Wow...I can relate...we just built a house last October, so no grass yet, the decking needs to finished, step DD is graduating in 2 months and her open house is here, I would love to have grass planted so everyone can leave their rubber boots at home LOL! I started painting the living room last week and got as far as I could...asked my DH to move the china cabinet so I could finish....still has not been I just found out my surgery date is in 11 days and that means if it is not done, I wont be able to finish!! So, last night he comes home with a new amplifier for his band (he plays drums), he just started up a small band to play at a few graduations and weddings this summer...I blew!! I know this is his hobby...and he loves to play, but I will be off work here real soon and bills need to get paid!! So lets go spend a bunch of money and worry about our home "projects" later...they just dont get it!! Sometimes I think they are from another planet!!
Unread 04-05-2002, 06:45 AM
Pre-Op Hysteria

Debbie, my heart goes out to you!! I think you should put your foot down on this one! Time for some projects to get done around YOUR house.

But seriously, does his MIL understand that he won't be doing ANYTHING for at least a couple of weeks after you're home EXCEPT taking care of you and YOUR household? I hope so. You're really going to need him and it would be nice if his mother could come over and take care of YOU during the day to repay her son for doing all the work around HER house!

Good luck and let us know how it goes. (Try to look at the bright side....This IS the last period you'll every have to suffer through!)
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Unread 04-05-2002, 07:24 AM
Pre-Op Hysteria

I totally agree with Lisa!!!

Of course it's great that he helps his mother, but the wife should come first. Maybe he feels like he owes her because of all she did for him while she was raising him or feels that he wants to do all he can for her while she's still alive because one day, she won't be around anymore.

It sounds like you do respect your MIL, so maybe asking her to come help you after surgery is a great idea.

I think most men are really little boys deep down inside. True, many are great providers and do things to help out, but when it comes down to them wanting their toys or doing something fun, they usually find a way to get what they want.

My dh, for example, always gives excuses for not getting things done around here because of not having time due to working long hours every week. BUT...he gets 5 weeks off each year. When he's off, he "doesn't want to spend time off by working" and ends up at the golf course. So, over the years, I've been more of a handyman than he is.

Giving him benefit of the doubt, I will admit that he does clean the pool. BUT (again)...he'll get up early, clean it, and head off to the golf course. Guess he's trying to do something useful so I won't have a reason to complain he's going off to have fun. Sorry...guess I'm harping on this golf thing this morning because he's been on vacation this week and he's getting ready to go play in a golf tournament in a few minutes.

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