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Major Meltdown Major Meltdown

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Unread 04-05-2002, 04:44 PM
Major Meltdown

Hi All,

Well, I totally lost it this afternoon because my Dad has to have a treadmill on Tuesday and my Mom didn't want to leave him. She told me to postpone my surgery for a week!!

I started sobbing ( first time in along time) and told her I couldn't and then she started crying and said she would come. I am single so I would like to have someone in the hospital with me and at home for a few days.

Well, she finally decided to come ahead and let my aunt go with my Dad for his treadmill.

Do ya'll think I am being unreasonable about this? Of course, if something serious happened to a family member I would postpone.

Thanks for listening!

Love to All
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Unread 04-05-2002, 04:50 PM
Major Meltdown


By treadmill, are you talking about a stress test? I do hope that all goes well with your dad, but since you sound like he's not in a serious condition at this point, I would agree that you probably need her more right now.

I'm glad for you that your mom has decided to be with you and hope that you have an uneventful castle stay & speedy recovery.
Unread 04-05-2002, 05:18 PM
Major Meltdown

Hi there,

I agree with Pam, if your mom can come that would be a help. Emotionally, it is nice to have someone there with you the day of surgery. However, you will probably need more help after you come home (the nurses will be able to help you during your castle stay) - so if there is anyone else who can come to the hospital with you (friend, neighbor - church member?), and then ask her to be there when you come home, you might both get what you need. I had a three day castle stay, but my doctor advised me that he wanted me to act like I was in the hospital for a week after I got home - so I needed someone there to help with meals, etc.

I can totally understand why you want your mother with you though - so this is a tough one. How far away is your mother?

Best wishes and hugs,
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Unread 04-05-2002, 05:18 PM
Major Meltdown

I think there comes a time when you need to put yourself first. It's reasonable for you to want to do what you need to do to improve your health and reduce suffering. You're not being selfish or unreasonable.

It's also reasonable for your mom to decide she can't make it right away, but I don't think it's reasonable for her to expect you to reschedule something this major for her convenience. My biggest fear pre-op was that something would postpone my surgery and I'd have to go through more of that awful, stressful waiting. I was at the end of my rope. People who haven't been through this often don't understand how horrible the waiting is, and how important it is not to prolong it.

Maybe you could investigate other home-care options with the hospital (like having a nurse come to your house, or a friend) if your mom really can't make it. But it sounds like it's worked out for her to come; maybe just leave it at that.

Good luck!

Unread 04-05-2002, 06:10 PM
Major Meltdown

Thanks Everyone,

I am starting to feel very guilty for making my Mom feel quilty. Does it ever stop?

My Dad is going on a trip the day after his test so I feel he will be okay.

My DD is at college and will be here 4 days after surgery. I will be fine, I'm just stressing.

Love to All
Unread 04-05-2002, 07:31 PM
Major Meltdown

Aww Sweetie!!! You have every right to stress! How many times have you read it - the waiting is the hardest part!

Hang in there - you'll be fine and it will be over before you know it. Glad your dd will be there to help you.


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