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Unread 04-09-2002, 12:45 PM

Hello all. My name is Dawn, and I'm new to the board. My surgery date is 4/29 and while I'm somewhat relieved, I'm also scared to death.

I did have a quick question, though. Is it just me, or when people find out that you're having a hysto does EVERYONE want to give you advice??? "Don't do it...get more opinions...take more drugs...etc" It's driving me crazy. I actually had a guy from work's wife (whom I've never met) call me on the phone today and tell me to go get another opinion. Call me crazy, but I think 3 is plenty!! It's not bad enough that my husband's family is mad at me for not having kids (let's just ignore the fact that she's in constant blinding pain...we want grandkids!!), but everyone seems to have their own opinion about this. I don't really understand that because it's not their body, it's mine. I'm scared enough to have this surgery without them making me feel and worse about it.

Thanks for listening and being there!! I appreciate it!!

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Unread 04-09-2002, 01:10 PM

Hi Dawn

It's hard when you are made to feel that you have to justify a decision that you have made. Most people around me were very supportive. I had a lot of ladies tell me it was the best thing they had ever done for themseves and I was going to feel so much better. Just had one friend who was opposed, she didn't try to talk me out of it, but the whole idea of surgery in general and a hsyt in particular freaked her out. I love her but had to stay away from her until after the surgery. I wanted positive vibes around me only. Then she was one of the first people to call me at the hospital.

You don't have to explain yourself to these well meaning (?) people, but if you feel you need to say something to them maybe explain that you have had several medical opinions, this is not a decision you came to quickly, you have researched it, and you and your health care provider have decided it's the best answer.

Good luck!
Unread 04-09-2002, 01:18 PM
Unwanted advice


I'm sorry others are insisting on throwing their two cents worth in. Hopefully you have a supportive husband who can get through to family that your own quality of life is #1 priority.

Be strong and smile, then do what you know is right. You have found the best place for support.

I don't think any of us would have chosen to have surgery if we could get rid of the reasons we need it any other way. Come on--who likes surgery? But if we have exhausted all other means and are still suffering, then surgery is the answer.

Stick with your hyster sisters and you'll be in good company.

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Unread 04-09-2002, 01:30 PM

I totally agree with you. You do get awfully weird reactions from people, hey it is your body enough pain is enough. Until they go through it, then they can say.

I still like the one my neighbor said "they don't do hysterectomies anymore" I laughed.

And it is not their body, it is yours, and you make the decisions!

Unread 04-09-2002, 04:45 PM

I am experiencing similar reactions. Everyone acts as if I've had my arm twisted to have this surgery, and they don't seem to realize that I have been informed of my options, have researched them, have given it careful consideration, and that I am very comfortable with my decision.

My only suggestion is to tell as few people as you need to. I am revealing my plans to just a few people at a time, and that way at least I am not bombarded with "advice" all at once. As it gets closer to my surgery date, I will tell more people -- hoping that the immediacy of the surgery will discourage people from voicing a negative opinion.


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